Cheers Quotes

Cheers

Cheers

Cheers is a Boston bar where "everybody knows your name", run by former baseball player and recovering alcoholic Sam Malone.

Starring: Ted Danson, Shelley Long, Kirstie Alley, Rhea Perlman, John Ratzenberger, George Wendt, Kelsey Grammer, Woody Harrelson, Nicholas Colasanto, Bebe Neuwirth.
Recurring Actors: Paul Willson, Jackie Swanson, Roger Rees, Keene Curtis, Dan Hedaya, Frances Sternhagen.
Original Run: 1982-1993.

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Quote from Diane in Love Thy Neighbor

Diane: "Love bunny"?
Sam: What's wrong with that?
Diane: How dare you callously and cruelly lump me in with the other conglomeration of Twinkies that constitutes your sexual past.
Sam: There's just no pleasing that woman.

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Quote from Norm in Tan 'n' Wash

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Paul: Hey, Norm, how's the world been treatin' ya?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

Quote from Cliff in Teaching with the Enemy

Frasier: I want you all to know... I'm not blaming her. It's because of me that my life is in the arms of another man.
Woody: Uh, well, you mean "wife," don't you, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: What?
Woody: You said "life." "It's because of me my life is in the arms of another man."
Cliff: Oh, that's a- That's a Freudian slip there, Woody.
Woody: What's a Freudian slip?
Cliff: Oh, that's when you say one thing when you're actually thinking about a mother.

Quote from Woody in Don't Shoot... I'm Only the Psychiatrist

Woody: I can't believe it. I'm being shunned. Just like back in Hanover. Just like with the Amish.
Norm: Wood? Who, uh, who shunned you back in Hanover?
Woody: The Amish. Weren't you here for this part?

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Quote from Frasier in Take Me Out of the Ball Game

Lilith: That's not Whiskers.
Frasier: Of course it is.
Lilith: No, it isn't.
Frasier: Yes, it is. Have you gone mad, woman? I'm telling you, I swear to you that this, this rat is Whiskers!
Lilith: My Whiskers was clever and bright-eyed. This rat is sluggish and slow.
Frasier: Well, he missed you. I missed you. I'm sluggish and slow, too.
Lilith: Also, Whiskers responds to the sound of my voice. This specimen shows no sign of recognition whatsoever. Whiskers? Whiskers? See? No response. Where's my rat, Frasier?
Frasier: Lilith, as a scientist and as your husband, I swear to you that this rat is Whiskers. And I must tell you I'm a little hurt by your accusation that I might try to fool you. I look you straight in the eye and I swear to you that this rat here is... He's on my shoulder, isn't he?
Lilith: Come here, Whiskers.
Frasier: Surprise! I got Whiskers a mate! Oh, you lucky rat. Oh! Now he has female companionship. Do I have female companionship?
Lilith: Not for a long, long time.
Frasier: [to the rat] Nice going, mister. Let's see if you're as sluggish in the snake cage.

Quote from Cliff in One for the Road

Sam: One by one, I seem to be losing my, uh thrills and, uh, tingles, you know? I keep asking myself, "What- What is the point to life?"
Woody: Whoo, that's a tough question.
Sam: Yeah.
Cliff: Eh. Well, I got the answer.
Frasier: Somehow, I knew you would.
Cliff: Comfortable shoes.
Frasier: Shoes?
Cliff: Yeah, if you're not wearing comfortable shoes, life is just chaos. I mean, the greatest accomplishments in history have been made by men wearing accommodating shoes. Uh, Frasier, tell me, who do you think is the greatest thinker in all mankind?
Frasier: I don't know, uh, Aristotle.
Cliff: There you go. Sandals. Perhaps the most comfortable shoe there is. You hardly even know you have them on. I mean, Confucius, thongs. Einstein, loose loafers.
Woody: Wow.

Quote from Carla in I Kid You Not

Frasier: Now would it please everyone if I ordered for the whole table?
Carla: It would be delightful.
Lilith: Fine.
Frasier: Thank you. Now, I know that Lilith's delicate constitution is not amenable to shallots. Is there anything else I should be mindful of?
Carla: How considerate of you to ask, Frasier. Actually, I have a delicate constitution, as well. No extra-heavy barbecue sauce. I'll be repeating like a Howitzer.
Lilith: Delightful.