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Woody Goes Belly Up

‘Woody Goes Belly Up’

Season 4, Episode 2 -  Aired October 3, 1985

Sam and Diane surprise Woody with a visit from his girlfriend back home. Meanwhile, Frasier starts working as a janitor at Cheers.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Sam, you are my inspiration.
Sam: Well, thank you.
Frasier: You, too, were a worthless, drooling drunk.
Sam: Carla, hold it a second.
Frasier: Sam, I'm sorry. See, the point is that you pulled yourself together. I have to rebuild my life, my career, my reputation, my self-esteem. I'm no longer worthy to practice psychiatry, but I'm gonna make myself worthy. I'll start at the lowest, most menial level. Sam, who sweeps the floors here?
Sam: Oh, me and Woody. Mostly Woody. All right, Woody.
Frasier: Well, let me do it for both of you. You can pay me whatever you'd like.
Sam: Oh, gee, Frasier. I don't know.
Frasier: No, Sam, I know you think it's beneath me, but I really need this now.
Sam: No, no, I just don't know where Woody put the broom. Maybe if you try in the back closet there. I mean, it's okay with me, but you sure you want Diane to see this?
Frasier: Yes. Let her confront her guilt for what she's wrought by her refusal to work out our relationship. And if I have a scintilla of psychological acumen left, when she sees my humiliation, she'll eat her liver.

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Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Sam: What do you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm: Hi, sailor. New in town?

Quote from Cliff

Beth: Gosh, I can't believe how big this city is.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, quite a place. You know, Boston is the hub of Boston proper, which comprises some-- Ooh, there's probably, what, two and three-quarter million people spread out in 83 cities and towns.
Al: Get out of here.
Cliff: You question my figures?
Al: No, I want you to get out of here.

Quote from Frasier

Diane: Frasier, for God's sake, hasn't this gone on long enough? If you're trying to make me feel guilty, you succeeded.
Frasier: Don't flatter yourself, Your Highness. I'm working here because I enjoy it. The Crane family is no stranger to hard work. I'll have you know that when my ancestors first came to this country, they had nothing but strong backs, a dream of freedom and a small personal fortune. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a life to live. Sam, where do you keep the Jonny Mop?

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Now listen to me, Woody. As healthy but moral human beings, you and Beth sublimated your lust into the sensual pleasure of eating. As your fondness grew, so did your appetites. Well, in short, food became your substitute for sex.
Norm: Vera became mine.
Woody: You really think that's what it is, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Oh, yes, it's quite common. Well, for example, when Diane left Sam, and he started drinking again, he was filling the void that Diane left. And Diane filled her emptiness by toying with and destroying a man who's her cultural and intellectual superior in every way! You see the point I'm trying to make, Woody.
Woody: I don't wanna talk about it.
Frasier: I rest my case.
Carla: Go rest your mouth.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Woody, that's kind of like topping off a steak dinner with pork chops.
Woody: Great idea.
Norm: Well, it's not original. It's the Hungry Heifer Carnivore Platter.

Quote from Woody

Diane: He's right, Woody. Friends with whom we share a common vice sometimes reinforce our behavior. I'm sure that's what's happening in your case. [takes food away from Woody]
Frasier: Thank you, amateur psychologists for your simple-minded diagnostic attempts. Now, Woody, tell me, do you come from a strict moral upbringing?
Woody: What do you mean by that?
Frasier: Well, do you and Beth feel that premarital relations are wrong?
Woody: Well, I don't wanna talk about it. Beth and I feel there's some things you just don't talk about.
Frasier: Like what?
Woody: I don't know. We never talk about it.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Come on. Come on, Norm. You can do better than that.
Norm: What?
Cliff: That ashtray's better than that. Come on, man.
Norm: Ashtray, huh? It's a little shoddy, but... You know, with a nice pack of cigarettes or something, a nice snappy new pack of matches, I think we got something here.
Cliff: Hey, hey, hey, Norm! Does Vera even smoke?
Norm: Oh, yeah, she's been known to smoke. Occasionally after sex. Usually during.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Hey. You mean to tell me you've never slept with Beth? [Woody looks away] Well, it's simple, then. You sleep with her, you stop eating. What a great reason too. I mean, as if you needed one.
Woody: Sam, I can't do that. I can't ask a nice girl like Beth to sleep with me out of wedlock.
Sam: The younger generation. I just don't know what to say to them.

Quote from Woody

Beth: Eating took the place of what?
Woody: Well, you know, that subject that you don't like to talk about.
Beth: What subject don't I like to talk about?
Woody: You know, that subject that you never talk about.
Beth: The reason we never talk about that is because you don't wanna talk about it.
Woody: I don't mind talking about it. In fact, I think about it all the time.
Beth: Well, I don't mind talking about it either. In fact, I think about it too.
Woody: [stands up in excitement] You think about it too? [sits back down] Then maybe we should talk about it.
Beth: Yeah, I think we should talk about it.
Woody: You don't suppose there's a chance we're not talking about the same thing.
Both: No.
Beth: Well, I think we've talked about it enough.
Woody: Me too. [to Sam and Diane] Well, I think we're gonna be shoving off.
Diane: Where are you going?
Woody: Uh... We don't wanna talk about it.
Diane: I think I understand.

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