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‘Cry Harder’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Cry Harder

826. Cry Harder

Aired May 3, 1990

As Rebecca worries that Robin will be sent to jail, Sam is reluctant to admit he was the one who turned him in.

Quote from Woody

Norm: Hey, Wood, you see the paper?
Woody: Nah. I don't read the paper anymore. It's too depressing.
Frasier: Many people feel that way, Woody.
Woody: Yeah, I mean, Lucy's always pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. The Lockhorns are always fighting. Henry still doesn't have a mouth.

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Quote from Woody

Frasier: Hey, Woody. I'll have a nice, tall iced tea.
Woody: Yeah, just a second, Dr. Crane. I got to take a couple aspirin. I got a splitting headache.
Frasier: You know, there's a school of thought that suggests that all physical pain... Headache, earache, stomachache, what have you...
Woody: A headache. Pay attention.
Frasier: Thank you. Anyway, these people say that those pains are merely physical manifestations of some deeper trauma, either psychological, emotional, or spiritual. See, suppose you just relax and try to remember the very thing you were thinking when the headache first started. Then we may be able to get to the root of the problem.
Woody: All right. Well, I was standing here and I was thinking about how when I was a little kid, I was the only kid in my town who didn't have a bicycle.
Frasier: OK. Go on.
Woody: I mean, all the other kids had one. Why not me?
Frasier: Excellent...
Woody: And then I bent down real fast to pick up a napkin... [clonk] Ohh! I hit my head again! So what do you think it is, Dr. Crane?
[Frasier takes a couple of the aspirin himself]

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Well, it's always good to see justice done. But I have to tell you, I hate to think of the poor man in prison. Those wretched places are filled with the worst degenerates, the most worthless dirty scum ever on this planet.
Norm: Frasier, why would you say that?
Frasier: Well, I was a prison counselor. You know, very often, I was their only friend.

Quote from Frasier

Woody: So, what do you suppose will happen to Mr. Colcord?
Frasier: Well, I suppose he'll get the full measure of the law. This country is sick and tired of these of corporate raiders that are plundering our economy. The days of junk bonds and Wall Street deals are behind us. Although I do hear there's some good penny stocks out there. Say, you know, I think I'll give my broker a call.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Rebecca, they do not fry people for insider trading.
Rebecca: What if they do, Norm? What if they do? I mean, I love that man, and I am just about ready to lose him. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be without Vera for 20 years?
Norm: Oh, my God.
Rebecca: You see? You'd miss Vera.
Norm: I thought you said beer.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Sammy. I am so proud of you.
Sam: Yeah!
Carla: Hey, hey. I know how we should celebrate.
Sam: Yeah?
Carla: Why don't you just take me right on top of the bar, like you did in the old days.
Sam: I never did that.
Carla: Then who was that guy? Oh! That was the manager of the bar where I worked before this. Hey, can anybody give me a ride to The Broken Spoke?

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Bye-bye, sweetie. Everything's going to turn out fine. [Robin leaves] That's the way we'll be kissing on visiting day for the next 20 years.
Carla: Thought you was so sure he was getting off.
Rebecca: Are you kidding? He'll fry. The street lamps will dim.

Quote from Carla

Agent Munson: So, have any of you seen Colcord in the last 24 hours?
Carla: Look, I'm not going to say a word. You could tie me to a hard chair and work me over under hot lights all day.
Agent Munson: We wouldn't do that.
Carla: Well, you could. Especially him.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: So, he asked me to marry him, which obviously meant nothing to him. He hops on his jet and leaves me here to rot.
Customer #1: Can I have my drink?
Rebecca: You know, you men are all alike.
[After Rebecca throws the drink in the customer's face, she walks over to a guy at another table]
Rebecca: So, where was l?
Customer #2: You were engaged to one of the richest men in the world. Could I just have my check?
Rebecca: Are you a man?
Customer #2: Sure. [Rebecca throws the drink in his face]
Rebecca: Woody, I'm going to need some more drinks.
Woody: What kind?
Rebecca: Doesn't make any difference.

Quote from Woody

Norm: Woody, Woody. Front page. Look who got indicted for insider trading.
Woody: Wow. That guy looks exactly like Robin Colcord. Whoa! He even has the same name. Hey, let's kid him about it when he comes in.
Frasier: Woody, this is obviously the same Robin Colcord that we all know.
Woody: Whoa, then it'll be even funnier.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Poor kid. Just when it looks like things are going to work out for her, like she's going to finally achieve her life's dream, her heart gets broken, and her whole life is shattered yet again.
Norm: Yup. You can just about set your watch by it.

Quote from Sam

Jim Montgomery: Mr. Malone. Glad I caught up with you. The board of directors is anxious to reward you for saving our corporation.
Cliff: Saving the corporation?
Sam: Uh, well, uh, thanks. Why don't you just send me a calendar or something?
Jim Montgomery: Oh, no, no. Sam, you're being much too modest. We know you've been trying to buy back this bar for some time now, and we've decided that as a token of our gratitude, the least we can do is sell it to you at a reduced price.
Sam: You're kidding. How much?
Jim Montgomery: $1.00. Take it or leave it.
Sam: This bar? I give you a dollar, and this bar is mine?
Jim Montgomery: That's right, Mr. Malone. No catch.
Sam: I can't believe this. This bar is mine. All I have to do is give you... Oh, shoot, shoot, shoot! [to the guys] Hey, give me a dollar, huh?

Quote from Norm

Sam: Hey, guys, guys. Remember this? Huh? [Sam hangs up a photo of himself as a baseball player]
Norm: All right.
Cliff: Yeah.
Sam: You've been gone too long, big guy.
Cliff: Somehow, everything feels all right with this world tonight.
Norm: Yep. It's only been a few hours, Cliffie, but the air smells fresher, the stool's a little more comfortable, and the beer tastes better.
Sam: OK, guys. Closing time. Beat it.
Norm: I don't know if I like the new owner, though.

Quote from Woody

Rebecca: I want to get out of here. I just took my stuff from your office and now I'm leaving.
Woody: Ms. Howe, you're leaving for good? I mean, I guess I should have realized that you would, but now that you actually are... I'm going to miss you. Don't those push pins belong to the bar?
Sam: Woody, Woody, it's all right, man.
Woody: Oh, now what... these index cards and these staples.
Sam: Woody, she's upset.
Woody: She's taking all our stuff, Sam. This is even our box.
Sam: Woody, shut up, will you?
Woody: Oh, this is my sweater!
Sam: Woody, shut up!
Sam: Come on!
Rebecca: You just take your own damn stuff. I don't want to be reminded of this stupid place anyway.
Woody: Oh, wait, Ms. Howe. This isn't my sweater. But if you don't want it...

Quote from Rebecca

Sam: Come here. Listen, I can't let you walk out like this. You got to forgive me. Please.
Rebecca: All right. I forgive you. I wish you well. Good-bye. I hope you're happy with your crummy bar and your stupid friends and your trampy waitress. [walks over to the bar] Good-bye, Carla. It was nice working with you. [shakes hands]
Carla: You, too. I'd just like to say that men have treated me like dirt all my life.
Rebecca: So?
Carla: I just like to say that. Keeps me humble.
Rebecca: Thank you.

Quote from Rebecca

Sam: Honey, you OK?
Rebecca: [sobs] Yeah. Uh... l'm... fine. May I have another glass of water? I'm starting to dehydrate again.

Quote from Carla

Sam: You're going to have to snap out of this, sweetheart.
Rebecca: Why? I don't have anything to live for.
Carla: Oh, come on. You got plenty to live for. What do you think? You're the only person who's ever been dumped? Look at Sam. He was in this horrible relationship with this woman for years, and it ended up she ditched him at the altar.
Rebecca: What did he do?
Carla: Well, he took all his money, he bought a boat, he sank it. Then he had to grovel around here for tips for 3 years. But look at him now. He got his bar back. And all he had to do was turn in your boyfriend. [Rebecca cries] Aw, forget it, man. There's no cheering her up.

Quote from Sam

Sam: What does this matter? Listen, this is Sammy talking to you. As long as I got a bar, you got a place to work.
Rebecca: No, I don't think I can go back to managing this bar.
Sam: Oh, I wouldn't want you to. No, I was thinking more of you being a waitress.
Rebecca: A waitress?
Sam: Yeah. Carla could train you.
Carla: [snickers]
Rebecca: [cries]
Sam: Boy, you're right. There's no cheering her up at all.

Quote from Woody

Man: What's the matter with that waitress? She keeps throwing drinks in people's faces.
Woody: Well, she's heartbroken. Her boyfriend left her, and she's feeling a little bitter.
[At the other end of the bar, Carla throws a drink in a male customer's face]
Carla: Here you go.
Man: And what's her problem?
Woody: She's just mean.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: You can't help me. I'm beyond help. You can't help somebody who's done everything wrong since the day she was born.
Sam: Oh, stop it, will you?
Rebecca: What have I done right?
Sam: Well... You got excellent taste in clothes.
Rebecca: What, this old thing?
Sam: Well, yeah.
Rebecca: Everything else. I've been wrong about men, I've been wrong about my career. You know, if I'd just done everything the opposite of the way I did it, I probably would've had a very happy life.
Sam: What's that supposed to mean?
Rebecca: It means that I really loved Robin. And he ran off. And the man I've been pushing away all these years is right here caring for me... Giving me a shoulder to cry on. God. Life is so weird. Sam, kiss me. [kisses Sam]
Sam: I think this is wrong, honey.
Rebecca: I said wrong is what I do best. [kisses Sam]
Sam: I just... I just don't want us to do anything here that you're going to regret, that's all.
Rebecca: Fine, fine. Maybe you're right. [kisses Sam]

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