Cliff: I got something to add to the conversation. If a 100-megaton warhead detonated over the city of Boston, the results would be so horrific that the survivors would envy the dead.
Norm: We weren't having a conversation, Cliff.
Cliff: Well! Then food for thought.

Woody: Well, it's probably best you didn't come last night. I've still got to iron out a few bugs.
Cliff: Well, all I can tell you, Woody, is that Ma loved the play. Yeah, I mean, there's something about the idea of sweet old ladies being cold-blooded murderesses. Just seemed to tickle her funny bone. [laughs] All the way home she just laughed and laughed. Matter of fact, I woke up at 3:00 a.m., and there she was sitting in my room in a rocking chair rocking back and forth, staring at me and making this low, guttural chuckle. Boy, does she love the theater.

Carla: Whoa! I'm gonna be a psychic! Who could have predicted that?

Rebecca: Woody, you opened last night in Arsenic and Old Lace. Why didn't you tell me so I could go?
Woody: I did tell you, Miss Howe. I told you dozens of times and I sent you an invitation with a cute, little cartoon of me drawn on it. You said you were going to be there and I reserved a seat for you in the front row.
Rebecca: Oh! Then I was sick.
Woody: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you feeling better?
Rebecca: Hmm, so-so.

Sam: Oh, Madame Lazora.
Madame Lazora: I sense the tortured anguish of many lost souls screaming for release.
Norm: Uh, that's probably me. I had kielbasa for breakfast.

Carla: Sam, you're smothering me here. Get the lady a drink.
Madame Lazora: I'd like a beer, please.
Norm: Oh, wow, she read my mind.

Carla: You're thinking about your car.
Sam: Nope.
Carla: You're thinking about some babe.
Sam: Nope.
Carla: Oh, wait a minute. Give me a minute. I can do this. Just give me a chance. [sighs] You're thinking about your hair.
Sam: Nope.
Carla: Come on, Sam, that's everything you ever think about!
Sam: That's not true. I think about other things.
Carla: Yeah? Like what?
Sam: Well, I was thinking about what happened at the end of Planet of the Apes. I fell asleep.
Cliff: Uh, uh, Sammie, Chuck Heston found the decayed ruins of the Statue of Liberty.
Sam: What are you saying? You're saying he was on Planet Earth the whole time? Whoa!

Woody: How do you explain that, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Why ask me, Woody? I mean, do I know something that no one else knows? I mean, we all saw what we saw. I mean, do you enjoy having me explain every little thing that happens? You know, I mean, "Let's ask the esteemed Dr. Crane. Yeah, see, he'll know." Well, I'm sorry, Woody. I have no answer for you! Frankly, I'm, I'm downright scared. To tell the truth, I got, I got a little creeped out when she got that dog's name.
Sam: Frasier, Frasier, calm down, man, l... I lied. I just didn't want to hurt her feelings.
Frasier: I knew that. Sam, can I have a, a scotch?

Frasier: Carla, would you like to talk about it?
Carla: No.
Frasier: Well, then, would you like me to show you the correct fingering for "Greensleeves"?
Carla: She's a fake. Madame Lazora is a fraud. All these years she's been nothing but a fake.
Frasier: I am sorry, Carla. I don't suppose this is an appropriate moment to say "I told you so."
Carla: No, this is the perfect moment to say it.
Frasier: I told you so.
Carla: I can't believe it.
Frasier: I know I can, but then again, I did tell you so.

Carla: I see something. It's you. And you're young. And, uh, it's summer. And there's an animal, a pet. You had a pet, didn't you, Sam?
Sam: Yeah, yeah, I did.
Carla: And you loved him very much.
Sam: Yeah, I did love him.
Carla: Suddenly this is all so clear! Frasier, I see you, as a young boy, reading all those books and not having any friends. Norm, I see you, having lots of friends and not reading any books. And, Cliff, I see you. [shudders] Sam. Sam, there's more.
Sam: Yeah?
Carla: That pet... It's a Labrador named Sparkey! And he's running to a woman. It's your mother! Her black hair is waving in the wind! Oh, my God! This is so incredible! Huh?! Madame Lazora was right! I am gifted! I am a seer! [to a man] Marry that girl. [to another man] Quit that job! I have the power!