Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Dance, Diane, Dance’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Dance, Diane, Dance

512. Dance, Diane, Dance

Aired December 18, 1986

Diane is led to believe that she is a wonderful balet dancer.

Quote from Norm

Diane: Norman, don't you think it's time you got home to your beloved?
Norm: No, no, it's, uh, Vera's night to howl tonight. She's, uh, hosting a Tupperware party. I'd say, uh, right about now they're probably knee-deep in lettuce crispers.
Diane: Vera's really into Tupperware?
Norm: Are you kidding? She wants to be buried in one of those things. I can just, uh, see the service. You know, they lower you into the ground, somebody burps the corner and you're sealed fresh for eternity, I guess.

Rate

Quote from Norm

Diane: Didn't you ever have a dream, Norman?
Norm: No.
Diane: Not at all?
Norm: Nope.
Diane: You never wanted something that was out of reach?
Norm: Well, uh... Beer nuts.
Diane: Norman, I'm serious.
Norm: So am l. Could you just... Yeah.
Diane: Everyone has dreams, Norman.
Norm: Everyone except me. I learned early in life not to have 'em. Yeah! I figure they're useless. They don't come true anyway.
Diane: Norman.
Norm: Yeah, life's tough enough without getting yourself all worked up over something that's not gonna happen. Mm-mm. Dreams, they just give you heartache.

Quote from Norm

Diane: I'm too excited to stick around. Anyway, you know how to lock up, right, Norman?
Norm: You kidding? I'm the one who taught you.
Diane: Right. Good night. [exits]
Norm: Yeah. Well. Ah, alone in a bar. Maybe Diane is right. I guess dreams can come true.

Quote from Woody

Diane: I'm auditioning for Boston Ballet. Would you mind if I warmed up? This seems a tad high, but it might serve as a barre.
Woody: Well, it is a bar, Miss Chambers.
Diane: No, Woody, when a dancer warms up, they hold onto a barre.
Woody: That is a bar.

Quote from Frasier

Sam: Uh, what are we going to tell her?
Frasier: We're not going to tell her anything. Madame Likova is going to write her a splendid analysis. Can I borrow your office?
Sam: Oh, hey, now wait a second now. Do you think this is the right way to do it?
Frasier: Oh, listen, what harm can it do? I mean, she said this was a one-shot deal. Why not let her leave it a winner?
Carla: Uh, why would you, her favorite doormat, want to make her feel better about herself?
Frasier: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Yeah, sure, she mocked me, debased me, humiliated me, ridiculed me, finally left me at the altar, but you never really can forget your first love, can you?

Quote from Diane

Diane: Sam, the reason I came early was to tell you that I'm going to be a little late.
Sam: You're not early. You're right on time.
Diane: Oh. Well, then, I'm going to be quite late.

Quote from Carla

Diane: Promise me, all of you, that you won't make fun of me.
Carla: Yeah, right.
Sam: Hey Carla, come on. No, we, uh, we won't make fun of you, we promise.
Diane: I've been studying ballet. [laughter] Sam! You laughed.
Sam: No, no, we just, uh, all thought of a joke.
Diane: What joke?
Carla: You in a tutu.

Quote from Carla

Norm: Diane, uh, why the sudden interest in ballet?
Diane: Oh, Norman, it's not sudden. I've had an on-again, off-again love affair with the ballet since I was seven years old. I studied for a while, then gave it up. Regrettably, of course. Although I was blessed with a swan-like neck and natural grace, I abandoned my dream of becoming a prima ballerina and concentrated instead on my career as a novelist.
Carla: Which explains why you're here in a bar pushing beers.
Diane: Oh, I remember the first time I ever put on my toe shoes...
Carla: Excuse me, Diane. Isn't your apartment on fire?
Diane: Oh, my God! I completely forgot! My poor kitty. Wait a minute. I'm sure I turned it off.
Carla: [sizzling noise] [coughing] [meowing]

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Mind if I put one of these up on the old, uh, bulletin board?
Sam: Go ahead.
Cliff: Ah, better take this old one of mine down, huh? Boy, oh, boy, nobody was interested in my singles potluck seance.

Quote from Cliff

Sam: What's going up this time?
Cliff: Well, you know, for years I've been saving up and, uh, finally made it. I bought myself a snazzy Italian sports car. Yup. As of tomorrow I'm going to be the owner of a brand new Alfredo.
Sam: Hey, all right.
Cliff: But first I got to, uh, sell off the old Cliff-mobile.
Sam: Wait a minute. Now you own a 1965 Chevy station wagon, right?
Cliff: Yes, sir.
Sam: This is a picture of a Rolls-Royce. What are you doing?
Cliff: Uh, read the copy there, Sammy.
Sam: "Chevy, the Rolls-Royce of station wagons." Oh, come on.
Cliff: Smart.

Quote from Diane

Norm: What's the matter? Come on.
Diane: Nothing. You mentioned eternity, and it got me to thinking. "For of all the sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: It might have been."
Norm: Yeah.
Diane: I wonder what might have happened if I had pursued my dream. Who knows? I might have ended up an accomplished ballerina. Now I'll never know.

Quote from Diane

Choreographer: Kirby, please show the lady to the wings.
Diane: Oh, no, no, please. I must prove to you that I indeed belong in your fine fraternity. Kirby!
Choreographer: I'm sorry, miss, but we just don't have time for this right now.
Diane: I don't have much time myself. A dancer's career is not a long one. I'm sorry, but it's true. I have a dream: to be a dancer. And in order for it to come true, you must see me dance. Oh, yes, my technique is not quite as polished as it should be, but is that all there is to art? Mere technique? Or is it not the passion and emotion and pain that lie deep within our souls? For I have that emotion. I have felt that pain. I... I am a feeling person, and I can communicate those feelings to you through dance, so judge me not by what my arms and legs are doing. Judge me by what I make you feel. No, most importantly, judge me for I must dance. Damn it, I must!
Choreographer: Well...
Diane: Oh! Thank you! You won't be disappointed.
[Frasier and Sam appear in the wings and bicker with each other. As Diane prepares to dance, Frasier walks out on the stage and whispers in her ear]
Diane: Never mind.

Quote from Cliff

Leeza: Uh, give her this videotape and this envelope and tell her I'm so sorry.
Sam: Well, I will. Thank you very much.
Frasier: Yes, thank you.
Leeza: Do Svidaniya.
Cliff: "Do Svidaniya", huh? Those Russkies can never leave without slipping in some Soviet propaganda.

Quote from Woody

Norm: Hey, wow, Sammy!
Sam: Woody, Woody, Woody, jump up there and fix the TV. again, will you? [patrons complaining]
Norm: Whoa, whoa! Perfect, Perfect! Don't move!
Cliff: Oh, wait a second, Woody, uh, just a just a minor adjustment.
Sam: That's it!
Woody: Oh, I sure hope this game doesn't go into overtime.

Quote from Diane

Diane: Sam, here's your change.
Sam: Oh, thank you.
Diane: Oh, dear.
Sam: What?
Diane: I can't remember whether or not I left my stove on.
Sam: Oh, boy.
Diane: No, it's off.
Sam: A-ha.
Diane: I think. It's off. Of course it's off. It's on. My apartment's on fire. Still...
Sam: Go, go, go, go, go.

Quote from Carla

Sam: What is this? Come on. Tell us all about it.
Diane: Madame Likova has been visiting Boston and she consented to teach a class at the college. On a caprice, I decided to enroll and I was accepted. Our final session entailed doing a solo performance on videotape.
Carla: Oh, I get it. That way she could puke in the privacy of her own home.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Hey, you guys think, uh, Diane is really that bad of a dancer?
Carla: I don't know. Guess there's no way of ever knowing, is there?
Norm: Yeah, none that I can really think of.
Cliff: Me, uh, neither.
Norm: And who knows if that VCR in Sammy's office even works, you know?
Cliff: There's, uh, there's only one way to find out, you know.
Norm: How's that?
Cliff: Get a tape and, uh, slip it right in there.
Carla: Talk about luck. Here's a tape right here.
Frasier: That's extremely insensitive.
Cliff: No, it's not. No, it's not. It's like driving by the scene of an accident. You don't want to look, but you just can't help yourself.
Norm: Yeah, and in this case you get to play it over and over again.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Hey, that's Miss Chambers.
Sam: Oh, boy.
Woody: Why is she hopping around like that?
Frasier: Well, she's dancing, Woody.
Woody: Get out!

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Being laughed at is going to be the least of Diane's worries. If she ever reads this analysis, she's going to be shattered. Take a look at this thing.
Sam: Oh, boy. "Poor, poor, poor, terrible"
Woody: Ooh, how was her attendance?

Quote from Diane

Diane: Back again. And you'll all be happy to know that my oven was off.
Sam: Ah!
Diane: But I had left the milk out, so it wasn't a wasted trip.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode