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‘Is There a Doctor in the Howe?: Part 1’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Is There a Doctor in the Howe?: Part 1

1116. Is There a Doctor in the Howe?: Part 1

Aired February 11, 1993

After Lilith sends Frasier a letter telling him their marriage is over, Rebecca throws a party at the bar to cheer Frasier up.

Quote from Carla

Frasier: Divorce. Lilith wants a divorce. You know, l... I know we've been separated and I've been saying some pretty bitter things, but I guess deep down in my heart of hearts, I'd always hoped for some sort of a reconciliation. Now I just don't know how to feel.
Carla: Hey, you know, Fras, I went through this same thing when Nick left me. And the way I look at it, here's what you can do. You can get angry and bitter, learn to hate the world, snap at people.
Frasier: Or?
Carla: Or what?

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Quote from Paul

Frasier: Paul! [chuckles] Are you, uh, alone or did you bring some friends, Paul?
Paul: What's that supposed to mean?
Frasier: Well... Nothing. Come on in. Thanks for cheering me up.
Paul: I didn't come here to cheer you up. l, I came to say something. Everybody, there's, there's something I've got to say. Uh, Woody made some comments earlier, and at first I was angry, but then I got to thinking. I took a long hard look at myself. I'm 45 years old, my mother's dead, what am I waiting for? l... I guess what I'm trying to say is "World..."
Sam: Hey, Paul, this is Frasier's night. Do you mind?
Paul: You're right, Sammy. I'm sorry. Is there any pizza left?
Sam: I don't think so, Paul.
Frasier: Just, uh, make yourself at home, Paul.

Quote from Woody

Sam: Okay, everybody, let's lift our glasses here and toast Frasier's new-found freedom!
Guys: Yeah! Yeah!
Alan: Woody, you having a beer?
Woody: Why not? I'm a grown man, I'm an adult. I can handle my alcohol. Plus we're out of chocolate milk.

Quote from Woody

Cliff: Woody, uh, exactly how many beers have you had there, young fellow?
Woody: Just one... Mom.
Norm: Wood, you got to be careful there, buddy. You never know how liquor's going to affect you, you know? Sometimes you can get depressed. Sometimes you get giddy.
Woody: So, Norm, when're you gonna get off your butt and get a job?
Norm: Sometimes you just get brutally honest.

Quote from Rebecca

Frasier: Oh, Rebecca, you, you have to admit, there's always been some sexual tension between us.
Rebecca: There has?
Frasier: Yes. It started the first day you came into the bar. I heard your sexy, smoky voice. l, I looked up and I thought, "My God! Who is that woman?"
Rebecca: Really?!
Frasier: Really. Your turn. What did you think when you saw me?
Rebecca: I thought... Well, you know, Fras, I met so many people that day.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Well, I mean, through the years you must have at least found me a... a little attractive.
Rebecca: Well, l, uh...
Frasier: Oh, come on! I mean, surely for as long as we've known each other, there has to be some sexual tension!
Rebecca: Why?!
Frasier: Well it's been proven in scientific journals! People who spend any amount of time with each other do experience some sort of subconscious sexual attraction!
Rebecca: Are you sure?
Frasier: Do you want me to get the book?!

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Boy, oh boy. That must be rough, huh? I've never been married, but, uh, I remember how depressed I was when Ma left me.
Norm: You referring to the time your mother moved to Florida when you were 37 years old?
Cliff: It still hurt.

Quote from Frasier

Rebecca: I want to make the first toast to Frasier. Lilith stinks!
All: Lilith stinks!
Frasier: Profoundly put. But I really don't want this to degenerate into a "bash Lilith" party, so, look, what's done is done. It's about time I got over it.
Carla: Oh, well, then you're not going to like what we did to the dart board. Dah!
Frasier: Well, maybe just one throw. [cheering]
Pete: Nice shot!
Tim: All right, Frasier!
Frasier: Well, I've got one at home.

Quote from Woody

Rebecca: Would you guys do something with him?
Cliff: Look at that, Norm. He's fast asleep.
Norm: Hmm? Oop! Oop!
Cliff: Look at this legs. They're twitching. [chuckles] I bet you he's dreaming he's chasing rabbits.
Norm: Don't be ridiculous, Cliff. Only dogs dream about chasing rabbits.
Woody: [barking]

Quote from Frasier

Rebecca: Fras, you know what? I think I'm gonna drive you home.
Frasier: Oh, I would really appreciate that, Rebecca. I sent Frederick to his grandmother's, and I just don't want to go home to that house alone.
Rebecca: Frasier for what it's worth, I think that Lilith made a big mistake.
Frasier: Well, thank you. And for what it's worth, I think that Evan Drake made a big mistake, too.
Rebecca: Thank you, Frasier.
Frasier: And, well, uh, while we're at it, so did Sam, and, uh, Martin Teal, and Robin Colcord and that that cousin of Woody's that used to play the piano, and Mark Newberger.
Rebecca: And those are just the ones you know about.
Frasier: Ah.

Quote from Norm

[As Rebecca arrives for work, Sam is scrubbing graffiti off the side of the wall]
Rebecca: Not again.
Sam: Every day this week! If I find out who this N.R.P. creep is, I'm really gonna let him have it.
[inside the bar, Cliff is standing guard at the door as Norm pours himself a beer]
Cliff: Hurry up, Norm. Sammy's getting a lot faster at this.
Norm: Got it.
Cliff: Hey, Norm. Listen, I uh I know the N.P. stands for Norm Peterson. What's the "R" stand for?
Norm: Resourceful.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Well, I'll be darned.
Norm: Yeah, what's that?
Cliff: Well, it says here if you walk with a quarter wedged between your knees your, your posture will be a lot better. Hey, give me a couple of bits here, Norm, I want to try it.
Norm: Tell you what, Cliff here's a buck to not try it, okay?
Cliff: Fair enough.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: That really burns my hide, Lilith sending that Mailgram.
Frasier: Well, thank you, Cliff.
Cliff: Well, all of a sudden a first class stamp isn't any good anymore? I mean, people, I've been telling you, I mean, our success rate is almost 50%! [Norm gets off his stool and herds Cliff into the backroom] Well, you know, unless it's raining, 'cause then the tires...

Quote from Norm

Rebecca: Oh, I've got it. Oh! We'll throw him a party.
Sam: What?
Rebecca: A divorce party. You know, then that way he'll know that all his friends support him and, and maybe it'll brighten his day a little bit. We'll, we'll have it for him tomorrow when he usually comes in.
Sam: I don't know, you know, a party for a guy whose wife just left him... Uh, it seems kind of strange.
Norm: Makes perfect sense to me.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Fras, I think I better go.
Frasier: Oh, oh, God. Rebecca, I'm- l'm so sorry.
[As Rebecca rushes to put her coat on, she puts it on backwards]
Frasier: Uh, this... This is entirely unintentional. I- It wasn't premeditated or anything. l, uh, oh, God, uh...
Rebecca: Frasier, I understand what you're trying to say. Let's just forget it ever happened, okay?
Frasier: Rebecca, wait, wait. I've always found you, you know, rather attractive. Well, very attractive really.
Rebecca: Well, thank you very much. That's sweet of you to say, but I really think I'd better be go...
Frasier: It's just that seeing you now in my home, looking into your beautiful eyes, I just wanted to... I had to... [kisses her]
Rebecca: Oh, God, what am I doing?! This is not romantic, this is just weird! Frasier, y-you're my friend! I've known you for years! First Sam, now you. Who's next... Cliff? Oh, God!

Quote from Norm

Frasier: Are you guys expecting anyone?
Sam: Uh, yeah, Norm and Cliff.
Frasier: [opens door] Aha! Tell him what he's won, Bob!
Cliff: Whoa! Pizza!
Norm: Beer.
Frasier: Norm, Norm brought beer! Well.
Norm: No, no, no, I need a beer. I'm a little thirsty.
Frasier: Sure. I'll, uh, I'll get you one. It's, uh, it's upstairs.
Sam: You keep your beer upstairs?
Frasier: Uh, yeah, in the bedroom.
Norm: You, too?

Quote from Frasier

Rebecca: Oh, Frasier, I'm sorry. I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?
Frasier: Well, it's pretty late. Uh, I guess I'll go downstairs and, uh, sleep on the couch.
Rebecca: Maybe I should just go.
Frasier: No, no, you don't have to go home.
Rebecca: You don't have to sleep on the couch.
Frasier: Just a second. [door opens, shuts]
Rebecca: Frasier, what was that?
Frasier: [o.s.] What was what?
Rebecca: I thought I heard a door slam. You don't think those guys are back, do you?
Frasier: No, no impossible. I locked and dead bolted it. They'd need a key to get in. Now where were we? Let's make this a night we'll never forget. [door opens]
Lilith: Frasier?
Frasier: Lilith!
Lilith: Rebecca?!
Rebecca: Lilith. Am I the only one who feels awkward here?

Quote from Woody

Sam: What's the matter?
Frasier: It's from Lilith.
Sam: Oh, that's awful.
Rebecca: What? What's awful?
Frasier: "Dear Frasier, life in the Eco-pod is wonderful. Googie and I are happier than we've ever been." Please start divorce proceedings. Our marriage is...
Woody: "Made in heaven?"
Frasier: "Our marriage is over."

Quote from Woody

Cliff: Look out, everybody, here he comes.
Woody: Okay, what do we yell when he comes in?
Rebecca: Just yell, "Surprise!"
Woody: Surprise, surprise, surprise... Okay, I think I've got it.

Quote from Rebecca

All: Surprise! [sing] For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow Which nobody can deny. [cheering]
Frasier: Is this for me?
Rebecca: Yes, I thought it would help you get over Lilith. Do you like it?
Frasier: Oh, very much. Thank you.
Rebecca: Well, it was my idea. The guys fought me at every turn.

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