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‘Pitch It Again, Sam’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Pitch It Again, Sam

924. Pitch It Again, Sam

Aired March 28, 1991

An old baseball rival of Sam's ask him to pitch at his career celebration day at Yankee Stadium. Meanwhile, Woody adopts a dog that followed Cliff on his postal route.

Quote from Rebecca

Woody: 78, 79... If you keep moving around, Spotty, I'm not gonna be able to get an accurate count. 1, 2, 3, 4...
Rebecca: I guess you've given up on finding his owner, huh?
Woody: Well, why don't you want me to have this dog, Ms. Howe?
Rebecca: It's not that I don't want you to have the dog, Woody, it's just that I have this this thing about being completely honest when it comes to lost pets. Okay, when I was ten years old, I had this beautiful Persian cat named Princess. She only loved me. She didn't like anybody else in my family. One day I woke up, Princess was gone. My mom and dad said that she got out through the bedroom window. The weird thing is, I could have sworn that bedroom window was painted shut. It bothered me for years.
Frasier: Then as you matured, you came to accept the fact that it was your parents who, in fact, got rid of the cat.
Rebecca: What?! My Princess?! They took my Princess?!

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Quote from Norm

Cliff: Hey, guys, guess what followed me home.
Carla: A slime trail?
Cliff: This cute little fellow right here. Huh? Isn't he sweet? The cutest little dog you've ever seen, huh?
Sam: What you gonna do with him, Cliff?
Cliff: Oh, l, I thought we'd just keep him in the bar here, Sam, you know, kind of like a bar mascot.
Norm: Guys, I kind of thought I was the bar mascot.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Hey, this is fun. Did you have a trademark, Sam?
Sam: Shut up and leave me alone.
Woody: Actually, Sam, that's more of a motto.

Quote from Carla

Norm: No, come on, man, don't let him lick your- Ew! Don't let him lick your lips like that.
Cliff: Oh, it's okay. You know, it's an interesting fact that that dog's mouth is probably cleaner than anybody's in this bar.
Carla: There's a shock.

Quote from Frasier

Norm: Fras, how about you? You want to play with the puppy?
Frasier: I don't know. Uh, my mother never allowed me to have a puppy when I was a boy. Consequently, she instilled in me a slight fear of animals.
Norm: I'd say it's about time you got over that. Come on, now, Spotty. I want you to say hello to your Uncle Frasier.
Frasier: Well, hello, Spotty. Norm, l... I think Spotty wants to go away now.
Norm: No. He feels pretty comfortable there, doesn't he?
Frasier: Well, did I mention to you that, uh, Spotty wants to buy you a beer?
Norm: Good boy, Spotty.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Can I help you?
Dutch Kincaid: Yeah. I'm looking for a yellow-bellied, runny-nosed has-been.
Woody: Hmm, can't make one of those. I'm out of cassis.

Quote from Carla

Carla: That'll teach you to pinch a lady's butt in a locker room.
Sam: Guys giving you trouble?
Carla: No. I was teaching them how to pinch a lady's butt in a locker room.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Ah, look at this. I'm focused, I'm psyched, I'm sober. Hey, Dutch doesn't stand a chance today?
Carla: Yeah.
Sam: Only one thing missing, huh?
Carla: I know, Sam.
Sam: Yeah, I wish Coach were here.
Carla: He is.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Call me sentimental, but doesn't this bring back the old days?
Sam: Yeah.
Carla: I want you to get out there, Sammy, grind him into a raw, meaty pulp, spread him on home plate and slide into his guts. [sobbing] I've got to get a Kleenex.

Quote from Cliff

Ballplayer: Hey, you guys aren't supposed to be in here.
Cliff: [mouth full] That's all right, we're with Sam Malone.
Norm: [mouth full] Mm-hmm. We're his personal trainers.
Ballplayer: So you're okay down here?
Cliff: [chuckles] We know our way around a dugout, pally.
Norm: Look out, Cliffy. Incoming.
Cliff: Boy, that ball girl's really got an arm, huh? Here you go, Toots. Aw, Norm.
Norm: What?
Cliff: Barbecue sauce got all over the nachos. [both eat]
Both: Hey!

Quote from Carla

Carla: Hey, guys, did I miss anything?
Norm: Sam hasn't started yet.
Carla: Oh.
Norm: Where you been?
Carla: Oh, I've been visiting the other team. I ran into somebody I used to get hot and sweaty with.
Norm: Who's that?
Carla: The other team.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Two grown men settling a rivalry by throwing a little white ball at a wooden stick. How pathetic. Now, boxing that's a man's sport. Punch a guy in the face and scramble his brains. That proves something.
Norm: Fras, you're coming around, buddy.
Frasier: Thank you.

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Oh, boy, me and my big mouth. Why don't I just go down to the park and tell the little kids about Santa Claus?
Woody: What about Santa?

Quote from Sam

Sam: I don't think so, Cliffy.
Cliff: All right, Sammy. Come on, Spotty.
Sam: Bye-bye, Spotty.
Woman #1: Oh, how cute.
Woman #2: Hi, little fellow. Ah. What's his name?
Sam: Well, this is, this is Spotty, huh? Isn't he cute? Yeah, he's kind of like the-the bar mascot. Hey, you know, he and I are about to take a bath. Would you like to join us?

Quote from Cliff

Woody: Hey, Mr. Clavin, if you're looking for a home for the dog there, I'd be happy to take him.
Cliff: Ah, no, Woody. You see, Spotty here is a thoroughbred puppy. Needs a lot of attention, a lot of care, needs a lot of space.
Woody: I'll give you five bucks for him.
Cliff: Here you go.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Hello. Any messages?
Carla: Oh, yeah. One of your old baseball buddies called, Dutch Kincaid.
Sam: I'll be damned. Wonder what he wants?
Norm: Probably another home run. I think you served him up something like 27 in his career. What did that work out to, Sam? Oh, yeah, uh, one for every time he faced you.
Sam: That was a long time ago.
Norm: Yeah.
Sam: Poor guy's probably down and out, wants to borrow a few bucks from me.
Carla: No. He wants you to show up for Dutch Kincaid Day at Yankee Stadium.
Sam: They're having a Dutch Kincaid Day at Yankee Stadium?
Carla: Yeah. They're bringing him back for one more time at bat before the game. He wants you to pitch to him.
Norm: Smart guy, that Dutch.

Quote from Norm

Sam: He's gotta be kidding. Why the hell should I want to help him? l, I'm gonna get on a plane and fly down to New York just to give him some free publicity?
Carla: What are you worried about? You afraid he's gonna pop one out and you're going to have to see the old Dutch Windmill again?
Rebecca: What is the Dutch Windmill?
Norm: Oh, every time Dutch hit a homer, he used to do this little dance while he ran around the bases. It's kind of his trademark.
Cliff: Yeah, if memory serves, it was something like this. He'd have that left arm pumping, and the right arm like a windmill, and wiggle his fanny back and forth.
Norm: No, no, no, more like this.
Carla: No, Norm, less jiggle.
Norm: I haven't started dancing yet.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Hello, Dutch.
Dutch Kincaid: Mayday.
Sam: What are you doing here?
Dutch Kincaid: I hear you're too chicken to pitch to me, Fluffy. What's the matter, afraid I'll make you look bad again?
Sam: I'm not afraid of anything, Dutch. And I don't have anything to prove, either.
Dutch Kincaid: Hey, you know, Malone, if word gets out that you're pitching to me again, it might give the guy the kind of publicity that would put him back in the public eye. Maybe even in the Hall of Fame.
Sam: Oh, get out. I could never get into the Hall of Fame.
Dutch Kincaid: Not you, you pantywaist. It's Dutch Kincaid Day, not Sam Malone Day. Man, what an ego.
Sam: Find yourself another sucker, will you?
Dutch Kincaid: Okay. Have you got a men's room in here? Oh, what am I asking you for?
Carla: It's in the back.
Dutch Kincaid: Yeah, thanks. Oh, uh, I gave my neighbor's kid a Sam Malone baseball card to stick in his spokes of his bike. Now, when he rides it, it goes "wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp."

Quote from Sam

Carla: Come on, Sammy, let's go. It would be great to see you pitch again.
Sam: No way. I told him "no" and I meant it.
Carla: Come on, the guy is a jerk. You've got to nail him.
Sam: No.
Carla: Knock him down a few pegs.
Sam: No. No, no, no.
Carla: Oh, no. You're afraid he's still gonna be able to hit you.
Sam: Oh, are you kidding me? The guy's a washed-up old has-been. I mean, he hasn't played for years. I can strike him out with one hand tied behind my back.
Carla: Worth a try, Sammy. The other way never worked.
Sam: That was then, you know. Now I've got the edge on him. I'm young. You know, I'm in good shape. Aw, shoot. I've got to remember to warm up before I do that.

Quote from Sam

Carla: So why don't you just go out there and humiliate him for a change?
Norm: Yeah. Come on, Sammy.
Cliff: Yeah, Sammy.
Sam: Listen to yourselves, will ya? Have some class. The guy's an old man.
Frasier: Good for you, Sam. I'm impressed by your stand. It shows real maturity.
Sam: Yeah, well, it's gonna take a lot more than a stupid insult to get me to go all the way to New York.
Dutch Kincaid: I'll see you later, Underpants.
Sam: That does it! All right, I'll see you Saturday. Yankee Stadium.
Dutch Kincaid: That's the spirit. Listen, and don't worry about getting into the stadium. Saturday is Ladies Day. [does the "windmill" dance as he leaves]

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