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‘Golden Boyd’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Golden Boyd

713. Golden Boyd

Aired February 9, 1989

When Sam and Woody tend bar at another one of Rebecca's parties for the corporate bigwigs, Woody gets on the wrong side of Nash, the boyfriend of the executive's daughter, Kelly Gaines.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Woody, cognac for all my friends. We're celebrating this year's recipient of the Fisk Foundation grant.
Norm: All right. I knew you could do it, buddy. What the hell is it?
Frasier: It's a very prestigious and lucrative fellowship that will enable me, finally, after all these years, to complete my treatise. "Man's need to work, the never-ending drive. To build, create and achieve."
Cliff: Yeah, must feel pretty good.
Frasier: Oh, you bet. If I can cop one more fat grant, it's loaf city.

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Quote from Woody

Nash: Well, maybe we'll, uh... We'll meet again, when your daddy isn't around.
Woody: I don't need him to protect me. I'll meet you anywhere, anytime. You can find me at Cheers.
Nash: I'll see you there tomorrow.
Woody: I'll be there with bells on. That's just an expression.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Ugh, did I get struck by lightning?
Sam: No, Woody.
Woody: Oh, right, I guess that only happens once in your life.
Sam: He's okay.
Woody: Gee, I hate for you guys to see me like this, all dopey and muddle-headed.
Carla: Yeah, we barely recognize you.

Quote from Cliff

Norm: All right, here you go, Cliffie. How about getting your mom a pair of these soothing, gel-filled insoles, and odor eliminators.
Cliff: It's only her birthday, it's not Christmas.
Woody: How about one of these Lucite snack trays that plays the theme from Cats?
Cliff: Yeah, Valentine's Day, 1963. Back then it played "Exodus."
Sam: Hummingbird feeder?
Cliff: Come on, you guys are just being silly now, right?
Norm: Well, then, Cliff, I'm afraid you're going to spend a little more than $1.99 for your mom's gift.
Cliff: Yeah, you're right, Normie. You only turn 70 once.
Carla: Speaking as a mom, you know, when my kids give me gifts, the ones that always mean the most to me are the ones they make themselves. For instance, look at this little key chain here. Anthony made this for me the first year he went away to camp. I carried it with me ever since. I think it might be the most precious thing I own.
Cliff: Well, I'll give you three bucks for it.
Carla: Done.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Sam, you're working a big party the 26th at Mr. Gaines'.
Sam: Another big party? How come you always get roped into running these things?
Rebecca: I'm not running this. I'm just delivering the message. Yes, I will be attending the party, but as an honored guest. An honored guest who happens to show up a couple of hours early and leave a couple hours late. And I will do as any other good guest will: help clean up, and maybe park a few cars.
Sam: So what's the shindig for this time?
Rebecca: Oh, it's one of those welcome-back-from-your-fabulous all-expense-paid-trip-to-Europe, you-sniveling-snot-brat of-a-vice-president's-daughter's tennis brunch.
Woody: Gee, I've never been to one of those.
Rebecca: Good. You're tending bar. There's the address. I'll see you at 10:00, Sunday morning.
Woody: She played right into my hands.

Quote from Sam

Man #1: Jack Daniels, neat.
Sam: Coming right up, sir.
Man #1: Say, aren't you Sam Malone? Didn't you used to be a pitcher?
Sam: Yep, that's me.
Man #1: Now you're doing this? Well, nothing wrong with tending bar. It's good, honest work. Uh, here's a little something for you.
Sam: [to Woody] Those rich snobs, man. They think they can look down their noses at you, and then make everything better by slipping you a measly... 50 bucks?!
Man #2: Two white wines, please.
Sam: Yes, sir. Coming right up here. You know, Woody, I tell ya, it's a long way from pitching in the major leagues to slinging drinks. What am I gonna do, you know? I mean, life's dealt me this lousy hand. I guess I'm just gonna have to play it out, huh? I'm sorry, sir. Uh, there are your drinks.
Man #2: Thank you.
Sam: Oh, bless you. [to Woody] I'm definitely on to something here.

Quote from Woody

Nash: Anyway, I'll be summering in D.C., God help me. Dad's favoring me with the option of going up on the Hill to page or being a clerk. So what do you think?
Woody: Oh, uh, excuse me for interrupting, but I'd go with the clerk job. I had a blast the summer I clerked at the Piggly Wiggly.
Nash: Uh... I'm sure you did, but I was talking about being a legal clerk.
Woody: Oh, this was all in the up and up.
Nash: Are you always this obtuse?
Woody: The cummerbund makes my waist look thick.
Nash: Yeah, yeah, thick. That's the word I was searching for.
Woody: Write it on your hand. You'll never forget it.
Kelly: He's very funny.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Whoa, whoa, what's going on here, man?
Woody: This guy just said I wasn't as stupid as I look, Sam.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, come here. Listen, whoa, whoa, stop. I mean it. Really, listen, before you go out there, let me just say a couple of things here. Now I've been a bartender for quite a few years and I've broken up a lot of fights in my day. And I'll tell you no matter who's involved, whether they're rich guys or poor guys, tall guys or short guys, fat guys, skinny guys, guys with speech impediments...
Nash: What's your point?
Sam: Well, the point is, that usually by this point in the story, the guys would forget what they're angry about and they'd kind of wander away.
Nash: Yeah, well, l, l, uh... I guess this isn't the right time or place.
Woody: Yeah, you're right.
Sam: All right, there you go. Very good, very good. Now why don't you just go back to the bar here, Woody.
Woody: Will you tell me the rest of the story later, Sam?

Quote from Norm

Frasier: The only thing missing now is a fine cigar.
Norm: Well, allow me. Carla, three of your finest Tampas, please.
Carla: You got it, gentlemen. Look at these beauties. That'll be 45 cents.
Frasier: Carla, we asked for a cigar, not this flammable bratwurst.
Norm: Come on, Fras, these are pretty tasty.
Cliff: Yeah, and they outlast the others by what, a good, eight or nine hours.
Norm: Cliffie, make a smoke ring go around my head the way you do.

Quote from Carla

Kelly: Oh, hi. I hope I'm not too late. I heard my boyfriend was coming here to fight that nice bartender.
Carla: Fight?! I've had sneezes that lasted longer.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Oh, I am so sorry Nash did this. He has such a ridiculous temper. If there's anything I can do, please, don't hesitate to ask.
Woody: Are your hands just naturally this soft, or you use a special lotion?
Kelly: Lotion, but you can't buy it in the States.
Woody: Smells good, too.
Kelly: No, it's fragrance free. You smell my hair. I rinse it in an essence of Belgian wild flowers.
Woody: They make a boy's version?
Kelly: I'll have my personal shopper check and send you a case. I feel just terrible about what Nash did. It'd be a shame if you got a scar on that cute face.
Woody: I'll be okay.
Kelly: Okay. Bye.

Quote from Woody

Mr. Gaines: Nash, it seems Mr. Boyd here has his eye on Kelly.
Nash: Oh, what a coincidence. Only yesterday, he had his eye on my Topsiders.
Mr. Gaines: Come on, son. We're on the tee in ten minutes.
Woody: That sounds good, but I have to warn you, I've never played before.
Nash: He's talking to me, Gomer.
Mr. Gaines: You'll show yourself out?
[Woody gestures to Mr. Gaines to make sure he's referring to him]
Nash: Well, you better get going, Boyd. You're going to be late for that bus.
Woody: A lot you know. It doesn't come around for another 15 minutes.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Well, I better be going, too. Wait a minute. I heard your dad's answer and I heard Nash's answer, but I still haven't heard your answer yet.
Kelly: Oh, gosh, Woody, I couldn't.
Woody: I understand.
Kelly: Wait a minute. Why not? I'm not Nash's property, and I just hate it when he always assumes that I am. Well, beans, this'll show him!
Woody: Aw, that's great. That is terrific. All right. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8:00, okay? Now, I promise you you're going to have the best time possible. You may think from looking at me, that I'm an unsophisticated guy who doesn't know his way around, but you're going to find out I do, okay? I'll see ya. [exits]
Kelly: Woody?
Woody: [o.s.] Yes?
Kelly: Do you know you're in a closet?
Woody: [opens door] Yeah, but I thought it might be more sophisticated just to lay low and then sneak out after everyone went to bed. [closes door]
Kelly: Good night.
Woody: [o.s.] Good night.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Sam, has Woody come back from his date yet?
Sam: Uh-uh.
Rebecca: I changed his schedule around so he can all of his evenings off so he can continue to date that lovely young woman.
Sam: Wait a minute, now you want him to date? I mean, what happened to the Attack of the Screaming Boss Lady from Hell?
Rebecca: Now I will admit that I didn't want him to ask her out originally, but let's face it, he's on a date with her. And the more they date, the more of a chance he has to become the boss's son-in-law. And boss's sons-in-law become VP's and in the corporate world, it always helps to have a VP in your corner.
Sam: That's disgusting.
Rebecca: Sam, I don't make up the rules. I just follow them.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Woody, come on, man. Go get her.
Woody: I can't, Sam. What could I possibly say to her?
Sam: Just say, "l like you. Will you go out with me again?"
Woody: Oh, right, just like that. And she's going to dump her rich boyfriend who she's been seeing for all these years, for poor, old, nobody Woody. I'm afraid the real world doesn't work like that, Sam; trust me.
Sam: No, Woody, come on. Hey, listen, just do me a favor: Go get her. Now, if it doesn't work out, I'll buy you dinner. If it does, you owe me. Just go out there. Say, "l like you, will you go out with me again?" Come on, before it's too late, go get her.
Woody: I'll give it a try, Sam. [passes Kelly on his way out] Excuse me. [returns] Kelly, uh... I like you. Will you go out with me again?
Kelly: Sure.
Woody: Oh, great, great. Well, we can't do it tonight. I've got to take Sam out.
Oh, no, no. It's okay, we can go out now. Uh, yeah, I have a standing reservation at Pizza by the Yard. Oh, wait a minute. What about Nash?
Kelly: Well, I was getting in the car with him when I realized Woody, I have a lot more fun with you.
Woody: Ah, yeah, I know what you mean. I didn't have much fun with Nash, either.

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