Frasier: Freddy is, of course, bedecked in the garb of superhero crime fighter Spider-Man.
Lilith: Interestingly, Spider-Man acquired his supernatural powers from the bite of a radioactive spider. I tried to explain to Frederick what would happen if one were really bitten by a radioactive spider, but he just cried.

Rebecca: Sam, stop it. The game is over. A man is dead. You know, it's getting a little bit embarrassing.
Frasier: It's time for you to face the fact that Gary is dead. That you had a hand in his death. We all did. That's the end of it.
Sam: Yeah, maybe you're right. All right, I admit it. Waah-waah, he's dead. [laughs] Come on, you guys. Lookit, he's bluffing. I wonder how far he's really going to take this thing.
[later, at the wake in Gary's Olde Towne Tavern:]
Sam: I'll be he's not even in there. [opens coffin] Okay, so he's in there. I still think it's a trick. If he wants to stay in there and suffocate, it's fine with me; it's his funeral.

Sam: He's gone. He's really gone.
Frasier: Gary had to go out of his way to prove it to you, but, yes, Sam, he's gone.
Sam: I feel like I've lost my best friend.
Carla: Having Gary around was, like, the one thing that always seemed to pull us together as a group.
Cliff: Yeah. Gary really brought out the best in us, huh?
Norm: No, Cliffie, he brought out the worst in us.
Paul: He will be missed.
Sam: Boy, I'll tell you, I've done a lot of things that I regret, but I'll never be able to make up for this one. You know, maybe it's time I stopped acting like an overgrown child. I mean, a man is dead because I did not have the maturity to know when to stop. Never thought I'd say this, but I miss Gary. He's a he's a true friend.
Frasier: That would have made a better eulogy than "Get out of there, Gary."

Woody: Hey, Sam, I'm back.
Carla: Oh, look, a bumpkin with a pumpkin.
Woody: Yeah, it's from my building's roof garden. I entered this contest the local merchants are throwing for the best jack-o'-lantern. First prize is a cruise around Boston Harbor. They say it's three hours you'll never forget.
Carla: Especially if it's low tide.
Lilith: Woody, it's hard to believe you grew such a hardy specimen in the city.
Woody: Well, yeah, the trick is to give it lots of care. I took a seed from last year's pumpkin, planted it, and watched over it like a daddy. I'd even lie in bed at night thinking, "I wonder how the pumpkin's doing." Pruned it, weeded it, checked the soil. I even talked to it. I think they like that. [stabs knife into the pumpkin] Aah! Farm boys love their Halloween!

Lilith: I sympathize with Rebecca's parents. l, for one, will not allow my child to go trick-or-treating through the dangerous city streets.
Frasier: What luck! I got the last Spider-Man costume for Frederick! And look what he can use for webs. [sprays silly string at Lilith]
Lilith: Frasier, we need to have a discussion.
Frasier: Oh no, don't tell me you have a thing against Halloween, too.
Lilith: I don't have a thing against Halloween. I just don't want my child panhandling door-to-door accepting non-nutritious snacks from strangers, dressed in a silly costume.
Frasier: But, darling, that is Halloween.
Lilith: Oh. Well, then I guess I do have a thing against it.

Rebecca: I'd like to tell you something, young man. I don't know if you realize how lucky you are that your parents let you partake in the better things of childhood. You know, I never got to trick or treat. I always had to hand out the candy. Nobody ever gave me any candy.
[Frederick reaches into the bag and hands Rebecca a piece of candy]
Frasier: Look at that... Good boy, Freddy.
Rebecca: Thank you. That's the first time anybody ever gave me anything. Thank you, Frederick. [mutters to Norm] The kid's got a bagful of Snickers, and he gives me a Tootsie Pop.

Sam: Oh, I know what he's going to do. All right, we're walking along here, all of a sudden, the coffin opens up, he reaches out and grabs my hand. Yeah, right. Ooh-ooh, I'm scared, yeah. Come on, Gare, I got you. Come on, open up. [knocks on coffin] Hello? Come on out, Gary.

Sam: [owl hooting in distance] Come on, Gary. Enough's enough. It's getting chilly out here.
Cliff: Sammy?
Sam: Hmm?
Cliff: Come on, the funeral's been over for hours.
Sam: No, no, you don't understand. See, that's the whole thing about practical jokes, it's timing. I know this; I've done this a thousand times before. Matter of fact, if I don't miss my guess, he'll be coming out right about... now. Right about now. Come on, you're milking it, Gary! Get out of there!
Frasier: I don't think he's coming out, Sam.
Sam: Yeah? Well, then I'm I'm digging him out. Come on, Gary. Come on. No, you don't understand. This is a stunt. No, come on, you can hear him laughing. He's laughing, I hear you! You're laughing, I know that!

Woody: Hey, Miss Howe, I was over at the magic shop today, and look what I got for Halloween. Aah! It's the old bloody thumb!
Rebecca: Yuck!
Woody: You just hide it somewhere, and then get ready for the fun. This was a Halloween night tradition around our house.
Rebecca: Woody, please don't tell me how that got started.
Woody: I thought we could use it tonight to scare the guys from Gary's Old Towne Tavern.
Rebecca: Woody, it's not scary, just gross.
Woody: That's 'cause you haven't seen it in action. I'll try it out on Mr. Peterson.
Norm: Wood, can I have a refill?
Woody: Sure thing, Mr. P. Way ahead of you.
Norm: All right. Yuck. What the hell is that?
Rebecca: The old bloody thumb.
Woody: Didn't it scare you?
Norm: No, actually, Wood, it's really more gross than anything else.
Rebecca: Told you. Here's another beer, Norm.
Norm: Thank you, Rebecca. And thank you, Woody. [takes both beers]

Rebecca: Well, I think you guys should just call it off; I mean, I think it's really childish.
Sam: Excuse me? Childish? Sweetheart, this is bar versus bar. We will use any weapon available to us. Water balloons, stink bombs, whoopee cushions and fake vomit. Yes, fake vomit. Now, how childish is it?
Norm: Remember last year, we sent Cliffy over there wearing nothing but a pair of Speedos? [all laughing, snickering]
Paul: Those people were screaming like banshees.
Norm: Yeah.
Cliff: Well, I was making a scary face.