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No Rest for the Woody

‘No Rest for the Woody’

Season 10, Episode 14 -  Aired January 9, 1992

After splashing out on an engagement ring for Kelly, Woody gets a second job to pay for it.

Quote from Frasier

Carla: Man, no way I'm gonna let that quack jab me.
Frasier: Carla, there's really nothing to be afraid of. It's- It's a very simple process. H- Here, let me show you. Darling, may l? They'll simply take your arm. They'll have you make a fist. Then they'll place a tourniquet here, exposing a vein. Exposing a vein... [taps Lilith's arm] Lilith, exactly how do you work?


Quote from Paul

Sam: All right, the thing is... Fellows, listen up. To qualify for the group rate, I need one more person to sign on.
Paul: Thank God, Sam. You don't know what it's like to walk around uninsured, knowing you might get hit by a bus or need an operation, and they'd take your house and your, your savings, and that might not even be enough. You saved my life, Sam.
Sam: Actually, Paul, I was kind of thinking of offering it to Norm.
Paul: Hey, congratulations, Norm.

Quote from Woody

Cliff: So, uh, Woodso, how much did your ring set you back?
Woody: Well, they say when you buy an engagement ring, you're supposed to spend the equivalent of six months salary, but it looked kind of naked without a diamond in it.
Norm: So how much we talking? Over a grand or what?
Woody: Well, the salesman said that it's bad luck for the couple to know how much the ring cost.
Sam: Woody, how are you gonna afford that on your salary?
Woody: Don't worry, Sam. I'm getting a night job.
Sam: You, you're gonna go do another job after you leave here at 2:30 in the morning?
Woody: Yep! Graveyard shift.
Sam: Where?
Woody: Graveyard, Sam. Gee whiz, say good night, Gracie.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Woody, I'm so glad you're here. Grandmother can't wait to meet you.
Woody: And I can't wait to meet her, Kelly Gaines.
Kelly: Is he okay?
Sam: Yeah, he's fine. He's just, uh, been working 24 hours a day for the past four days.
Kelly: Is that a lot? I'm not part of the work force.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Carla, good news. I've, uh, given a lot of thought, and I've decided to offer my employees a, uh, group medical plan.
Carla: Oh, man, that's great, Sammy, Yeah. What changed your mind?
Sam: Oh, it's the right thing to do. You guys need it, you deserve it it's important to you. Plus, they passed some kind of law.

Quote from Norm

Sam: [all on answering machine] Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [beep]
Vera: [on machine] Norm, this is Vera. Please pick up. Norm! Norm? [line disconnects] [phone rings]
Sam: Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [beep]
Vera: Norm, I know you're there. Pick up the phone, Norm. It's 3:00 in the morning. I want you to come home. Norm? Norm! [hangs up] [phone rings]
Sam: Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [beep]
Vera: Hi, Sam. This is Vera Peterson again. Listen, uh, ignore those messages. It turns out Norm was here in bed next to me the whole time. And I thought that big lump was our dog. Who knew?

Quote from Rebecca

Sam: That's it. The furnace is definitely out. Any luck trying to get through to the repairman?
Rebecca: No, it's still busy.
Sam: Well, why don't you try calling someone else? What kind of manager are you if you can't handle a simple problem like that?
Rebecca: Sam, these are the only people in Boston who can service that Guatemalan furnace you bought on sale.
Sam: Oh. Keep trying.
Rebecca: It's ringing. Hello? [on the phone] Hi, there. Uh, yes, our furnace is on the blink. Um, it's the Little Diablo model, the grey one. It's a full duct, forced-air model. Huh? Um, let's see 55,000 BTUs. BTUs. Well, how do I know what that stands for? You're the Guatemalan!

Quote from Woody

Sam: You, you guys have a prenuptial agreement?
Woody: Sure. Oh, I love her, but I'm not stupid. God forbid, things don't work out. I don't want to lose half my stuff.
Sam: Good thinking, Woody.

Quote from Cliff

Norm: So, uh, Wood, that's a nice ring. Have her parents seen it yet?
Woody: No. They will in a couple days. They're gonna throw us an engagement party.
Norm: A party! Oh, cool!
Woody: Her grandmother's even coming all the way from Florida. She's kind of the head of the family. From what I hear, she's pretty scary. She's bossy, mean and tough as nails. You wouldn't want to mess with her.
Cliff: Yeah? Bet you my ma could take her. Gloves or bare fists, open hand, closed hand, I don't care.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Well, I've drawn up a list of names of the people I want to invite to the party. The only problem is, I only get to invite a few. Where do you draw the line?
Frasier: Well, Woody, something that Lilith and I find helpful when we plan a party is to simply start at the bottom of the list, and eliminate the least desirable.
Woody: Okay. Cranes are out. Thanks, Dr. Crane. That was helpful. [shakes Frasier's hand]

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