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‘Strange Bedfellows, Part 1’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Strange Bedfellows, Part 1

424. Strange Bedfellows, Part 1

Aired May 1, 1986

A local politician running for re-election, Janet Eldridge (Kate Mulgrew), takes an interest in Sam when she visits Cheers on a campaign stop.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Holy moly guacamole. Terre Haute, lndiana. Oh, I wouldn't throw her out of my bed for eating crackers.
Norm: Why else would she be there?
Cliff: Yeah, that's very humorous, Normie. Yeah, in light of the fact that a leading woman's magazine just recently completed a survey which showed that postmen are the most desired lovers right after-
Norm: Rock stars and heart surgeons.
Cliff: Well, you know what they say down at the P.O.-
Norm: "Postmen deliver daily."
Cliff: Have we had this conversation before, Norm?
Norm: Cliffie, we've had every conversation before.

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Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Evening, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Woody: What's happening, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The question is, Woody, why is it happening to me?

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: You wine them. You dine them. Tell them how pretty they are. Buy them fancy presents. Finally, you get up the nerve to ask one of the little dears to marry you. What do you get for all your trouble? Squat.
Tim: Doc, I thought you'd pretty much gotten over that Diane problem of yours.
Frasier: Oh, it's not as serious as it sounds. You see, this is the one-year anniversary of the day Diane deserted me at the altar. To repress my bitterness would be detrimental to my recovery. So on this day, and on this day alone, I'm going to spew out my venom and exorcise the blond demon that haunts my soul.
Paul: Well, happy anniversary.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Well, you're a little late there, Normie. Where you been?
Norm: Well, I was at Hurley's Market. I took Vera out for a little grocery shopping, then a little dinner.
Woody: Oh, gee, that's nice, Mr P. Where did you go to dinner?
Norm: Hurley's Market. They were giving out those little sausage samples on toothpicks. By the way, guys, for your information, a dozen appears to be the cut-off number.

Quote from Sam

Norm: I guess she's a little out of your league when you come right down to it, huh?
Carla: Yeah, what's the matter, Sam? She too much for you?
Sam: No, I just don't think it's a good idea to hop into bed with someone who could raise my taxes.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Oh, boy, that's the third time you beat me, Mike. I guess I owe you another beer.
Mike: No, that's okay. I gotta run. I'll take a rain check on that one, huh?
Carla: Lost again, huh?
Woody: Yeah, I don't know what's the matter with me. It seems like that guy just has my number, you know?
Carla: Yeah, forget about it. Next time he comes in here, you just challenge him to some Italian arm wrestling.
Woody: Oh, I never tried that.
Carla: Come here. Give me your arm. Okay, now, I'm gonna pull as hard as I can, and you resist me with all your strength.
Woody: All right.
Carla: Go.
[Carla tries to pull Woody's arm towards her as he resists. When she lets go, Woody knocks himself on the head with his hand]
Woody: Wow. I beat Carla! And I'm not even Italian.

Quote from Frasier

Diane: Watching that woman work this room has brought me to a decision.
Sam: You've decided to work it too for a change?
Diane: I'm going to campaign for Janet Eldridge's opponent in the coming election.
Sam: Is that right?
Diane: I've voted for him before, but he really needs my help now. Would anyone like to join me in this campaign? Working side by side untiringly to carry James Fleener to victory?
Frasier: I would. James Fleener is the finest man to enter public life in the last decade. I'd be honoured to work for him.
Diane: All right. He needs all the help he can get. [walks away]
Frasier: [to Norm] Who the hell is James Fleener?

Quote from Woody

Woody: Boy, oh, boy, is Miss Eldridge pretty.
Norm: Yeah.
Woody: You know, back home in Hanover, everybody on the town council has a paunch and smokes big, smelly cigars.
Norm: Don't you have any women on the town council there?
Woody: Yeah.

Quote from Carla

Norm: Sammy, I've been noticing she just can't take her eyes off you. You gonna ask her out?
Sam: What are you talking about?
Norm: Well, look at her.
Cliff: She's a good woman, Sam. She deserves it.
Sam: I don't know.
Cliff: Yeah, politics makes strange bedfellows, Sam.
Carla: So do you and anyone or anything.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Uh, Clifford C. Clavin, U.S. Postal Service, South Central Branch. In view of the carnage taking place in our postal routes, are you in favor of beefing up our leash laws to include life imprisonment for the canine offenders?
Janet Eldridge: I think that's a bit drastic, but I am in favor of doing all we can to support our overworked and underpaid postal carriers. You do a wonderful job.
Cliff: That woman has got my support, and I will deliver you the postal vote.
Carla: Too bad it'll be to the wrong address.

Quote from Sam

Sam: You got a second here? Listen you know that ice cream stuff they serve in the middle of dinner there? Is it okay--?
Diane: Sorbet.
Sam: Sorbet, right, sorbet. Is it okay if I were to ask for chocolate sauce with that?
Diane: I think it's wise not to.
Sam: All right, all right.
Diane: And for God's sake, remember that a bowl of warm water with a slice of lemon in it--
Sam: I know, I know. It's a finger bowl, it's not lemon soup. You know something, nobody would've known that time if you hadn't screamed.

Quote from Cliff

Carla: Hey, a word over here, heartthrob.
Cliff: Coming at you.
Sam: Cliffie, Cliffie. I got this one.

Quote from Diane

Diane: But it's the consensus of opinion around here that you're using Sam to get re-elected, with total disregard for his feelings, and we don't think that's a very nice thing to do.
Janet Eldridge: I see. Well, I'll be honest with you, Diane. That's exactly why I started seeing him.
Diane: Ah-ha. So l-- We were right. Well, I'm warning you, I have some influence with Sam.
Janet Eldridge: Yes, I know. He thinks a great deal of you.
Diane: Anytime I wanted to-- He said that?
Janet Eldridge: Yes. He mentions you often. And Sam is a man of few words.
Diane: Well, he only knows a few. [both laugh]

Quote from Diane

Janet Eldridge: Yes. He is a simple man in many ways, but I think that's his strength. I mean, I never met anyone who didn't like him.
Diane: Well, good. But I don't understand why we're standing here chatting so enjoyably when you just admitted that you're using Sam.
Janet Eldridge: That's not what I said, Diane. You didn't let me finish. Well, when I first started seeing Sam, perhaps I had ulterior motives in mind, but my attitude toward him has changed dramatically. I've learned that Sam has something that's pretty special. I've never experienced with any other man the feeling I have when I'm with him. When we're at a fundraiser or something like that, I'll watch him across the room talking with some people, and sometimes a feeling comes over me so strong that it nearly makes me ache. Oh, God. I sound like a silly schoolgirl. That's the truth. Does that make you feel better?
Diane: It certainly does. I'm awfully glad we put this matter to rest. You like Sam. And Sam likes you. No one's going to get hurt. Well, "wack to berk." [exits and immediately returns] Boy, you're really good. You almost had me fooled there. But I don't believe a word you said. When this campaign is over, Sam's going to last about as long as your campaign promises. Well, back to work.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Boy, when people start finishing each other's sentences, they're-
Norm: Spending far too much time together.
Cliff: Say, Woody, let me have another beer there. Hey, did you hear the one about the-?
Woody: Shepherd and the parrot?
Paul: Yeah. That was a good one.

Quote from Frasier

Diane: [enters] I had a very nice time, Brian.
Brian: Me too.
Frasier: Well, well, if it isn't Kitten With a Whip.

Quote from Diane

Sam: So you two have a good time?
Diane: Oh, very nice. Very nice time.
Sam: Yeah, we had a great time.
Diane: Yeah, we had a fabulous time.
Brian: It was just a movie and a burger afterwards.
Diane: Oh, but what a film. And the ground beef was excellent, very lean.
Sam: [to April] Listen, I wanna thank you for giving me a ride home. That's a great car you've got there.
Diane: Yes, Brian has a wonderful car too, and it gets excellent mileage.
Sam: What kind of mileage you get?
April: Uh, 35 on the highway, 26 around town.
Brian: 32 and 24. Sorry.

Quote from Carla

Carla: What a putrid display. You know, people come here to relax and enjoy themselves. They don't wanna look at that. Do you?
All: Yeah!
Carla: This is sick.

Quote from Sam

Diane: Brian has a big-screen TV.
Sam: April has a satellite dish.
Diane: You are so childish.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Hey, how about that? We're a stop on the old campaign trail.
Diane: Oh, Sam. You're so politically naive. Janet Eldridge is an old-money conservative who consistently supports big-business interests over badly-needed social programs. She's a real political opportunist.
Sam: Well, if she's that bad, I'll have her out of here in a flash.
Phil Schumacher: [enters] Ladies and gentlemen, Councillor Janet Eldridge.
Sam: She's got until Christmas, then she's out of here.

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