Cliff: Holy moly guacamole. Terre Haute, lndiana. Oh, I wouldn't throw her out of my bed for eating crackers.
Norm: Why else would she be there?
Cliff: Yeah, that's very humorous, Normie. Yeah, in light of the fact that a leading woman's magazine just recently completed a survey which showed that postmen are the most desired lovers right after-
Norm: Rock stars and heart surgeons.
Cliff: Well, you know what they say down at the P.O.-
Norm: "Postmen deliver daily."
Cliff: Have we had this conversation before, Norm?
Norm: Cliffie, we've had every conversation before.

Norm: [enters] Evening, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Woody: What's happening, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The question is, Woody, why is it happening to me?

Frasier: You wine them. You dine them. Tell them how pretty they are. Buy them fancy presents. Finally, you get up the nerve to ask one of the little dears to marry you. What do you get for all your trouble? Squat.
Tim: Doc, I thought you'd pretty much gotten over that Diane problem of yours.
Frasier: Oh, it's not as serious as it sounds. You see, this is the one-year anniversary of the day Diane deserted me at the altar. To repress my bitterness would be detrimental to my recovery. So on this day, and on this day alone, I'm going to spew out my venom and exorcise the blond demon that haunts my soul.
Paul: Well, happy anniversary.

Cliff: Well, you're a little late there, Normie. Where you been?
Norm: Well, I was at Hurley's Market. I took Vera out for a little grocery shopping, then a little dinner.
Woody: Oh, gee, that's nice, Mr P. Where did you go to dinner?
Norm: Hurley's Market. They were giving out those little sausage samples on toothpicks. By the way, guys, for your information, a dozen appears to be the cut-off number.

Norm: I guess she's a little out of your league when you come right down to it, huh?
Carla: Yeah, what's the matter, Sam? She too much for you?
Sam: No, I just don't think it's a good idea to hop into bed with someone who could raise my taxes.

Woody: Oh, boy, that's the third time you beat me, Mike. I guess I owe you another beer.
Mike: No, that's okay. I gotta run. I'll take a rain check on that one, huh?
Carla: Lost again, huh?
Woody: Yeah, I don't know what's the matter with me. It seems like that guy just has my number, you know?
Carla: Yeah, forget about it. Next time he comes in here, you just challenge him to some Italian arm wrestling.
Woody: Oh, I never tried that.
Carla: Come here. Give me your arm. Okay, now, I'm gonna pull as hard as I can, and you resist me with all your strength.
Woody: All right.
Carla: Go.
[Carla tries to pull Woody's arm towards her as he resists. When she lets go, Woody knocks himself on the head with his hand]
Woody: Wow. I beat Carla! And I'm not even Italian.

Diane: Watching that woman work this room has brought me to a decision.
Sam: You've decided to work it too for a change?
Diane: I'm going to campaign for Janet Eldridge's opponent in the coming election.
Sam: Is that right?
Diane: I've voted for him before, but he really needs my help now. Would anyone like to join me in this campaign? Working side by side untiringly to carry James Fleener to victory?
Frasier: I would. James Fleener is the finest man to enter public life in the last decade. I'd be honoured to work for him.
Diane: All right. He needs all the help he can get. [walks away]
Frasier: [to Norm] Who the hell is James Fleener?

Woody: Boy, oh, boy, is Miss Eldridge pretty.
Norm: Yeah.
Woody: You know, back home in Hanover, everybody on the town council has a paunch and smokes big, smelly cigars.
Norm: Don't you have any women on the town council there?
Woody: Yeah.

Norm: Sammy, I've been noticing she just can't take her eyes off you. You gonna ask her out?
Sam: What are you talking about?
Norm: Well, look at her.
Cliff: She's a good woman, Sam. She deserves it.
Sam: I don't know.
Cliff: Yeah, politics makes strange bedfellows, Sam.
Carla: So do you and anyone or anything.

Cliff: Uh, Clifford C. Clavin, U.S. Postal Service, South Central Branch. In view of the carnage taking place in our postal routes, are you in favor of beefing up our leash laws to include life imprisonment for the canine offenders?
Janet Eldridge: I think that's a bit drastic, but I am in favor of doing all we can to support our overworked and underpaid postal carriers. You do a wonderful job.
Cliff: That woman has got my support, and I will deliver you the postal vote.
Carla: Too bad it'll be to the wrong address.