Carla: You know, when I'm in charge of the bar, I know what God feels like.
Norm: How's that?
Carla: It's like I'm in complete control of people's destinies. Yeah, like, I can make their drinks too strong so they get sick. Or I can water them down so they're paying for nothing. Or if I don't like their attitudes, I can spit in it. [chuckles]
Norm: Carla, you're not still upset about that little argument we had the other day?
Carla: You tell me.
[As Cliff returns to the bar for his freshly-poured beer, he shakes hands with another patron. With Cliff's back turned, Norm switches their beers and starts drinking.]
Cliff: Oh, hey, Carla. Listen, I'm sorry about this morning when I called you a sawed-off witch. [Norm spits his beer out]

[As Sam and Diane come down the steps of Cheers, Norm is sitting there reading a newspaper]
Sam: Good morning, Norm.
Norm: Where in the heck have you been? Is my watch fast or something?
Diane: Sorry, Norm. We had kind of a difficult evening. [they enter the bar]
Sam: We finally had to tell Coach we didn't want to see him any more.
Diane: It was terrible. Even worse than we feared.
Sam: We spent half the night arguing about who was to blame. You should have- It's-
[Sam notices that Norm is stood nervously near the door]
Sam: Diane.
Both: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Norm: Morning, everybody.
Diane: How are you today, Norman?
Norm: Oh, as if you cared.

Carla: I got it. I got it here.
Sam: What?
Carla: Make him think you got a bad disease. Get real skinny, and you paint your faces white and pasty. Walk around looking like you're gonna throw up. Uh, you'd better hurry up there. Diane's got a head start.

Sam: Ah, Coach. Coach, maybe you can help me out here. I'm shopping around for a new bank. Do you like yours?
Coach: Boy, I love it. Bay Harbor Savings and Loan right down the street.
Sam: Uh-huh. Do you like the tellers there?
Coach: Oh, they're terrific.
Sam: Is there one you think I should talk to? Friendly, nice, cute?
Coach: Uh... Frank.
Carla: Coach, who's the one you're always talking to?
Coach: Oh, do you mean the cute redhead with a nice smile who's always winking at me?
Carla: Yeah.
Coach: That's Frank.

Diane: Well, Katherine, didn't you love that meal?
Katherine: It was very nice.
Diane: Well, I'm glad we had Coach along. There's nothing like having an Italian who knows what to order in an Italian restaurant.
Katherine: It was wonderful, Coach. What was that dish called again?
Coach: Spaghetti for four. They've got a better one, though, it's spaghetti for six, but you need more people.

Diane: Well, I think banking is fascinating. There are so many facets. So many things I've wondered about.
Coach: Yeah, me too, you know, Diane?
Katherine: Like what?
Coach: Well, like, tellers. You take tellers, they never tell you anything. They always ask questions. And interest, there's nothing interesting about it at all. It's boring. Oh, and then the trust department, they got all the pens chained down to tables. What kind of trust is that?
Katherine: [laughs] Oh, there he goes again. You're just too much.
Coach: [to Diane] A little giddy, but nice.

Sam: Who's there?
Coach: [o.s.] Me. Who's there?
Sam: Coach?
Coach: [o.s.] No, I'm Coach.
Sam: What the hell are you doing here, Coach?
Coach: Well, at least we got that straight, Sam.

Coach: Diane, please forgive me. I never wanted to get in your way. I'm sorry, honey.
Diane: Thank you for understanding, Coach.
Coach: No, when you live alone, you tend to forget that other people have lives. [exits]
Diane: Are you feeling what I'm feeling?
Sam: Yeah. Poor Coach.
Diane: Well, we have so many hours together, I guess it's kind of selfish not to spend a little time with him.
Sam: You're right. I'll go get him.
Diane: Bet you can catch him on the steps.
Sam: [opens door] Why are you standing there?
Coach: Well, my coat got caught in the door, Sam. I didn't have the heart to bother you again. Good night, Sam.

Sam: Coach, Dorothy is the one you like, right?
Coach: Oh, yes, Sam. Dorothy's very nice.
Sam: Excuse me. [exits]
Coach: But not as nice as Julia.
Carla: Sam! [runs after him]
Coach: What am I thinking of? That's the grocery store. At the bank, nobody can beat Sandra.
Diane: Sandra. That's my friend. [runs after them]
Cliff: Well, what is it, Coach?
Coach: Not Sandra, it's Anita.
Cliff: I'll take this. [runs after them]
Coach: Oh, oh, oh.
Norm: What now, wrong girl, Coach?
Coach: No, no, no, Norm. Wrong bank.
[Norm gets up with his beer and heads for the door]

Coach: You know something, Sam? I can't get over the fact Diane knew Katherine, my favorite teller at First Fidelity.
Sam: Well, it's a small world, I guess, Coach.
Coach: Yeah, and another thing, she seems to know everybody in every bank I've ever dealt with.
Sam: Well, you know how friendly she is.
Coach: Oh, Diane, how did you and Katherine come to meet?
Diane: The loan desk.
Katherine: At the drop- [overlapping chatter]
Coach: Oh, that's all right, honey. Sometimes I forget things too. Or do l?
Katherine: [laughs] Coach, you tickle me. Are you always this funny?
Coach: Uh, I doubt it.