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‘Loverboyd’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Loverboyd

822. Loverboyd

Aired March 29, 1990

Woody's girlfriend, Kelly, is going away to study in Europe. Meanwhile, Norm finally winds up being the designated driver at Cheers.

Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Woody: Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: You mean "nice cold beer going down Mr. Peterson."

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Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Evening, everybody.
All: Norm!
Sam: What do you know there, Norm?
Norm: How to sit, how to drink. Want to quiz me?

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Wow. Kelly going to study in Europe. It'll be tough on you, Woody, but, boy, what an opportunity for her.
Woody: Yeah. You're right, Miss Howe.
Rebecca: Yeah, and if I know her father, she's not gonna have to do it like I did... Backpacking, hanging out in seedy youth hostels, hitching rides with sleazy locals who use their inability to speak English as an excuse to give you directions on your sweater. That sweet, little Kelly girl will get everything handed to her on a silver platter. I hope she chokes on Europe.

Quote from Rebecca

Woody: I just can't think straight, Sam. I've really blown it with Kelly. Now she's gonna go off and marry one of those worldly European guys for sure.
Rebecca: Woody, nothing like that's going to happen.
Woody: Really, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: No, Woody. Those wealthy European royals aren't good enough for Princess Button Nose and her daddy.
Carla: So, Becks, what's this thing you have against rich people? You're dating a rich guy, and you want to be rich yourself, right?
Rebecca: Yes. And when I'm rich, I will stop hating rich people. And start hating poor people. That's the American way. [high-fives Carla]

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Well, if that's what you want, Woody, then I'll go to Europe, but how will I know you'll still be here for me when I get back?
Woody: Well, how about this? We could get secretly engaged.
Kelly: Oh, yes, Woody. That's a wonderful idea. It'll be our special secret. I'll be in Europe, and you'll be here. We'll have an unspoken bond across the ocean.
Woody: Oh, that sounds swell. So you won't date any other guys while you're in Europe?
Kelly: Well, Woody, if I don't date any other guys, then people might suspect that I'm secretly engaged.
Woody: Yeah, that's right. So I'll have to do the same thing back here in the States, except, of course, I'll date women.
Kelly: Right, Woody.
Woody: Yeah. Now, wait a minute. You're not already secretly engaged to someone else, are you?
Kelly: No. But even if I were, I couldn't tell you because it would be a secret.
Woody: Boy, I can trust you.

Quote from Sam

Woody: Sam, you're just the guy I've been looking for.
Sam: Why is that, Woody?
Woody: Because you weren't here. Hey. Check this out, Sam. It's a promise ring for Kelly. By giving her this ring, I'm making a deep and solemn promise that someday I'm gonna give her an engagement ring.
Sam: That's beautiful, man. That's beautiful. I've given a lot of those to women. Of course, in my case, it was a deep and solemn promise that their backs will arch.

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Woody, you can't believe that your beloved Kelly would actually forget you.
Woody: Well, I love Kelly and all, Dr. Crane, but you got to admit she's no rocket scientist.

Quote from Norm

Carla: All right. Thanks to your good buddy Norm Peterson the first drawing is null and void. OK, everybody. Once again, names in the hat. Come on. I'm watching you, Peterson.
Norm: Don't watch me, Carla.
Carla: What, you think I like it? All right. And the lucky loser is... Norm Peterson.
Cliff: Well, well, well.
Norm: Great, great. First time I enter this damn thing. You couldn't pick... "Norm Peterson" or... "Norm Peterson" or... or... Well, "Frasier Crane." At least one person here is honest.
Frasier: I beg your pardon. I wrote "Norm Peterson."
Norm: I guess you're right. I wrote that.

Quote from Woody

Sam: Woody, Woody, come on. Stop here, kid. Think a little bit.
Woody: No, no, Sam, that's all I've done my whole life is think, think, think. There comes a time when you got to stop thinking. You taught me that, Sam.
Sam: I just want you to be sure, man, that's all.
Woody: Sam, I am sure. I love Kelly. I'm willing to risk everything to make her Mrs. Woodrow Tiberius Boyd.
Carla: Tiberius? You never told us that was your middle name.
Woody: Yeah. Right. I never told Kelly, either. Maybe I'd better just forget this whole thing.
Sam: No, come on.
Woody: No, wait a minute. I have accepted the fact that her middle name is Susan. I'm going to go for it.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Good afternoon, everyone. Have I missed anything?
Cliff: Eh, we're just having a little bit of spring training debate over here. Who do you pick for the pennant this year, huh?
Frasier: Well, if that's not the most loaded question I've ever heard. Who are you all going with? Boston, perchance?
Norm: As coincidence would have it, yeah.
Frasier: You know, we go through the same charade every year. Colored by your hometown chauvinism, you throw statistics and feasibility to the wind and predict Boston, and you're usually wrong. Well, I'm going out on a limb this year. I'm going to be the only one to pick the New York Yankees.
Carla: You're not the only one to pick the Yankees, Fras.
Frasier: I'm not?
Carla: No. Steve picked them, too. Hey, Woody, is Steve back there with you?
Woody: [o.s.] You bet, Carla.
[Woody wheels out a clothing rack to which a man has been tied by his hands and feet]
Frasier: You didn't let me finish. You see, I picked the Yankees to lose, you see? l, uh... I love the Red Sox. Don't hurt me, please.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Yeah. Kind of sympathize, Woody. I once experienced a painful separation myself. A woman I cared very, very deeply about left me.
Carla: Oh, yeah. Your mom moved to Florida.
Cliff: She's right. I think I'm gonna go and give that little cutie a call right now.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Well, Miss Howe shouldn't be mad at Kelly. I mean, it's her dad's idea. He's just sending her away to hurt me.
Sam: Oh, come on, Wood. Probably doesn't have anything to do with you. Probably just wants to prove to his friends that he's rich enough to send his daughter to a fancy school in Europe.
Frasier: Has it occurred to anyone that Kelly might just want the best education money can buy?
Woody: That could be, Dr. Crane, but I think he's sending her to Europe to get her away from me.
Frasier: Why do you think that?
Woody: Because he told me so.

Quote from Frasier

Carla: It's time for us to pick our designated driver for the night. OK. You all know the rules. Write your names down on a slip of paper.
Cliff: Uh, I understand you can tell a lot about a person by analyzing their signature. You ever get into that, doc?
Frasier: Oh, come on. I'm a trained psychiatrist, not some fortune-teller in a cheap carnival tent.
Cliff: That's too bad. I always wondered what my signature said about me.
Frasier: Mother of God! [backs away from Cliff]

Quote from Cliff

Carla: And the lucky loser is... Yeesh! Cliff Clavin.
Cliff: You all get to ride shotgun in a brand-new postal vehicle.
Tony: Oh, great. We'll have a ride, but we'll all go to the wrong address.
Cliff: That better be the beer talking.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Well, Cliffie, I guess that's the luck of the draw, huh? Speaking of draw, Sammy...
Carla: Wait a minute. What's this?
Norm: What? What? Give me that.
Carla: Wait a minute. This says Norm Peterson. Hey, wait a minute. You didn't put this in the hat.
Norm: Oh, it's supposed to go in the hat?
Cliff: Oh, come on.
Carla: How many times have you done this?
Norm: I'm embarrassed to say this is my very first time.
Carla: This is the first time you cheated?
Norm: Oh, I thought you meant getting caught.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Woody, I'm leaving for Europe first thing in the morning, and I wanted to spend every single free minute of the time I have left with you.
Woody: That's a great idea.
Kelly: But first I have to get my hair done. Oh, then I have to get my shots, and I have to buy a new bathing suit. Oh, and I haven't even started packing.
Woody: So what are you saying, Kelly?
Kelly: I guess "bye."
Woody: Well, at least we had this time together.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Oh. Listen. Before you go, there's something I want to give you. This... Is a promise ring. By giving you this ring, I'm making a promise that someday I'm gonna be giving you an engagement ring.
Kelly: Oh, Woody. That's beautiful.
Woody: Yeah. Well, it's been in my family for years. My dad gave it to some chick on Guam. That was before he met my mom.
Kelly: Woody, I'll never take it off. But why are you giving this to me right now?
Woody: Oh, well, I'm on a break right now.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Not since Myrna Loy and William Powell have I heard such a rich collection of witticisms exchanged in such a pithy manner.
Sam: Is that that drunk couple who's always fighting in the pool room there?
Frasier: No. Those were the Lunts.

Quote from Kelly

Woody: Well, I'm giving you this because you're gonna be in Europe, and you're gonna be meeting all those rich dukes and earls and counts and Basies and stuff.
Kelly: Woody, you have nothing to worry about. I love you. And besides, I'll probably be so busy with my studies that I won't have time for anything else.
Woody: Really? What are you studying?
Kelly: French, economics, and nude male figure drawing.
Woody: That ought to keep you real busy.

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Oh, Woody, I kind of wish I didn't have to go all the way to Europe right now, what with us getting so close and everything, but Daddy really wants me to go, and you know how he is.
Woody: Do I ever.
Kelly: What's that supposed to mean?
Woody: Nothing. I just know how he is.
Kelly: What do you mean by "is"?
Woody: Well, he can be sort of... [chuckles] You know.
Kelly: What do you mean by "you know"?
Woody: Same thing as "is."
Kelly: Hey. Are you putting down Daddy?
Woody: I'm not putting down Daddy.
Kelly: Don't call him Daddy. He's not your daddy. He's my daddy.
Woody: Well, it's a good thing because my daddy doesn't treat me like a baby.

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