Sam: Come on. It's a golden opportunity. We can win this time. We can steal all of Gary's best ideas and use 'em against this new guy. And you remember how Gary's always going first? We can learn from that. We can move first ourselves.
Frasier: Very good, Sam. As that famous prankster Santayana once said, "Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it."
Woody: You got that right, Doctor Crane. Back in high school I was condemned to repeat History three times. By the way, the same goes for Mathematics.

Norm: Boy, every time I set foot in this place, it gives me the creeps.
All: Norm!
Cliff: How do they know you in here?
Norm: Hey, Sammy closes on Christmas morning. Okay?

Carla: [phone rings] Must be the agent. Hello?
Sam: Carla, hi!
Carla: Sam?
Sam: How you doing?
Carla: Terrible! We're stuck out here in the middle of nowhere, waiting for someone to pick us up.
Sam: You're all alone?
Carla: Yeah, for about 200 miles.
Sam: Wow! Is it cold?
Carla: Yeah, Sam, I'm cold. I'm freezing. I'm thinking about hugging Clavin.
Sam: Boy, what a shame. Hey, listen, honey, you remember, uh, last Halloween when you guys pulled that hilarious stunt on me making me think that Gary was dead and that I was responsible for it?
Carla: Yeah.
Sam: Well... gotcha!

Woody: Oh, that's all right, Dr. Crane, we all get scared. For example, when Mr. Clavin sees that clown outside the car wash, he starts screaming at the top of his lungs.
Cliff: I got a phobia, okay? Let me tell you a story here about a sweet little eight-year-old called Cliff Clavin. On his eighth birthday, his ma hires a clown. Great idea, right? Except for one thing. None of the other kids show up. So here I am with this clown for five hours. Just me and him, back and forth... "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." I keep screaming, "Enough, enough," but, no, Ma wanted to get her money's worth.

Sam: Hey, guys, you're not gonna believe this. Gary sold The Olde Towne Tavern.
Cliff: No!
Carla: Get out!
Sam: No kidding. He sold it to this guy named Frank. Uh, runs a bunch of bars in other cities. He's already in.
Woody: Wait a minute. This means that any bar tab run under the previous management would automatically be null and void, right?
Sam: You have a bar tab at Gary's?
Norm: Not anymore, Sam.

Norm: Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it now. You mean when all is said and done, at the end of this, I'm still going to have a tab at Gary's?
Sam: Yes, Norm.
Norm: That bastard, let's get him.

Frasier: Now let me get this straight, Sam. This, this was all your doing? [Sam laughing] The exploding door and all that damage that you did to your own bar? [Sam laughing]
Lilith: The expense of paying all the people involved? The bus fare to get your stooges all the way out to North Dakota?
Sam: It cost me a fortune! I had to take out a loan! [laughs] I'll be paying it off for ten years! [falls to the floor with laughter]
Frasier: Well, I guess the joke certainly is on them, isn't it?

Cliff: Say, uh, Norm, want to go back and, uh, shoot some stick?
Norm: Oh, I'd love to, Cliffie, but I'm busy talking on the phone with Vera.
Cliff: Huh?
Norm: Which reminds me. [walks over to the payphone] Uh, what are you talking about? I'm listening to every single word. [to Cliff] Got this down to a science. Give me a refill, please, Woody.

Police Officer: Do you have any idea who you're dealing with here?
Sam: What do you mean?
Police Officer: How do I explain it to you? Um, this guy Frank is kind of "connected," if you know what I mean.
Woody: Wow, he wears a pacemaker? Oh, now I really feel bad.

Frasier: If I may interject, I think you've all seen too many Godfather movies.
Woody: I agree. Should have stopped at two.
Frasier: That notwithstanding, I don't think we should run off in a panic here. Don't you see what we're doing? We're stereotyping these people and letting our irrational fears convince us that they intend to do us bodily harm in some cold-blooded fashion. Now, with that said, I will bid you all a fond adieu for a couple of weeks. Lilith, Frederick and I are going on vacation.
Lilith: What are you talking about?
Frasier: Oh, don't you remember that trip we talked about, dear?
Lilith: We didn't plan a trip.
Frasier: Oh, it'll all come back to you in the cab. Let's go. Come on.
Lilith: But I need my briefcase.
Frasier: No, leave it, woman! Move!