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‘Paint Your Office’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Paint Your Office

606. Paint Your Office

Aired November 5, 1987

Norm agrees to paint Rebecca's office to cover his bar tab.

Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Man: Hey.
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson. Beer, Woody.

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Quote from Sam

Sam: So, how come you guys are so chummy, huh?
Norm: Sorry, Sam. Can't talk about it. Kind of private.
Sam: Oh, give me a break. Guys are supposed to talk about girls behind their backs. [Norm swallows hard] Didn't I tell you everything about me and Diane? [Norm shakes his head] Well, now's your chance to thank me.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Boy, look at her. What a glow she has. You know, strange as it sounds, there are actually times when I resent being a man.
Cliff: Ah, that's all right, Fras. Sometimes we resent you being one. [Sam laughs]
Frasier: I was referring to Carla's condition. You see, she's able to do something we men never shall: experience the miracle of creating a new life.
Sam: You know, I'll have to admit. I've often wondered what it would like to have another human being moving around inside you.
Woody: Must be spooky, but real neato.
Sam: Yeah.
Cliff: There's probably nothing so awesome in the entire universe.
Frasier: Yes, gentlemen, I'm afraid that we've been relegated to the position of observer. Passive, sitting on the sidelines. Doomed by nature to a life of envy.
Carla: God, feels like there's a dump truck parked on my bladder.
Frasier: Well, then again, nature is wise in her way.

Quote from Frasier

Carla: I am a little worried about the direction this bar is taking.
Sam: How so?
Carla: Well, it just doesn't seem right when the stakes for a game of pool is a round of wine spritzers.
Frasier: Not even the pool room is safe from the encroaching hordes of yuppiedom. How long will it be until we're all suffocated beneath an avalanche of alligator shirts, German cars, and racquetball club memberships? Oh, oh, by the way, Sam, uh, may I have another Perrier with lime?

Quote from Frasier

Sam: You can't cut off one of our regulars. The poor guy is unemployed.
Frasier: Look, Miss Howe, uh, Norm here is in a very delicate spot. His self-confidence has been shattered. Uh, what he needs from us now is help and support. Isn't there some other way to resolve this problem?
Rebecca: Well, you could pay his bar bill.
Frasier: Norm, the woman will not listen to reason.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Oh, uh, you got a phone call here, uh... Eva Ake? I could swear it was a man. Oh, well, there's paint here. Evan Drake. Uh...
Rebecca: That's my boss.
Norm: Yeah.
Rebecca: What did he say?
Norm: Well, he said, he, uh he wants you to tear up my bar bill. [off Rebecca's look] I... Well I didn't think I'd get away with that.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Um, would you mind locking up for me?
Norm: No, no, I don't mind at all. Listen, would you please not, uh, mention that I like painting to the guys? Cliff already thinks I'm a weenie.
Rebecca: Well, from what I've seen, he's an authority.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: What makes me think this belongs to you?
Sam: [gasps] My jasmine scented oriental massage oil. Oh, God. God, I thought I'd lost this.
Rebecca: I found it wedged underneath the couch cushions in my office.
Sam: Ah.
Rebecca: I don't think I want to know how it got there.
Woody: I'm kind of curious.
Sam: Tell you what. Why don't you, uh, put that back where you found it, and that way, we'll know where it is when we need it.
Rebecca: When hell freezes over.
Sam: Well, that's perfect, 'cause this stuff heats up when you rub it in.

Quote from Norm

Sam: How's the job-hunting going?
Norm: Oh, lots better, Sam. Today I actually got turned down for an executive position. [Rebecca places her hand over Norm's glass] It's a good way to lose that.
Rebecca: I'm sorry, Mr. Peterson. You've been cut off.
Norm: Oh. Okay, where's the camera?
Rebecca: This is no joke. According to my books, you are way over your credit limit.
Sam: Well, what's the big deal? What's he over, 10, 20 bucks?
Rebecca: 837.
Norm: But in other words, under $900, huh?

Quote from Cliff

Norm: All right, well, l, uh I did a little house painting in college. You know, to make ends meet.
Cliff: [laughs] Norm, Norm, Norm. Norm, I think they're talking about a job where you get, uh, paid with money, not with little grain pellets dropped out of a chute.
Norm: Cliff, you, uh, you got something against painters?
Cliff: [laughs] No, no, no. I- I'm in favor of hiring the blithering. [laughs]
Sam: Do do you need any painting done around here?
Rebecca: I guess you could repaint the office. Are you willing?
Norm: It's been an awfully long time.
Cliff: Oh, yeah, yeah. It's gonna take you at least, what, seven or eight seconds to relearn that skill. [laughs]
Frasier: You know, Cliff, I'm beginning to pick up a little thread here. Would you mind explaining this little obsession you have about painters?
Cliff: Well, all right. Uh, well, it's manual labor. I mean, it's beneath you, Norm. Well, if you take a job like this, we're gonna be on entirely different social strata. We'll have nothing to talk about, all right?
Norm: Semigloss or enamel?

Quote from Woody

Carla: Hey, Woody, would you close up for me tonight? I got to get home.
Woody: No problem, Carla. By the way, I really am envious of you having a nice big family to go home to.
Carla: Oh, yeah, it's great, all right. I got 11 people living under a roof that was meant for only six. Gino's dog just had puppies on my side of the bed. My daughter-in-law is driving me nuts, and somehow, my mother-in-law got a hold of our address.
Woody: Puppies. You lucky duck.

Quote from Rebecca

Norm: Uh, but, no, he said he's on his way over here. Sometime, like, uh around nowish.
Rebecca: Now?! God.
[Rebecca rushes to her desk, pulls a comb and mirror out of her handbag, and furiously combs her hair]
Norm: Shall l, uh, comb my hair, too, or will I be leaving?
Rebecca: [answers phone] Rebecca Howe. Oh, hello, Mr. Drake. I thought you were-- Norm. No, no, no, I know you're not Norm. You're Evan. What I meant to say was-- Get out of here. No, no, no, not you. You stay right where you are. No, I swear... [shouts] Get out! Oh. Hello?

Quote from Woody

Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, I really feel bad about you being cut off.
Norm: Yeah.
Woody: You know, I remember the good old days when you used to come in here and say something funny. I'd pour you a beer. You'd drink it, I'd pour you another one, you'd drink that, too.
Norm: Yeah. Yeah, I remember, Woody.
Woody: So look at that. Hardly even touched.
Norm: Yeah.
Woody: I'll tell you, I don't normally drink beer, but, uh, I just cleaned the taps, and I wanted to make sure that everything was all right, so I had one. It was like a mountain stream, only colder, fresher. You know, sometimes there's nothing like a nice cold beer to really hit the spot.
Norm: Yeah, I think I read that somewhere, Woody.

Quote from Norm

Rebecca: You really do seem to be enjoying this job.
Norm: Yeah. Yeah, I actually do, you know? I think painting is just so vastly different from accounting. This is real, you know? This I have some control over. I mean, when I look back, I finish a job, I can say, "You know, I did that." [while looking back at Rebecca, Norm pains on the door] Door must have moved. You know, I think that this color is the exact same color as Mary Lou Sebold's car coat.
Rebecca: Who?
Norm: This girl I had an insane crush on in the third grade. Except she had no idea that I was alive. I used to leave little notes for her. "l love you." And one day, I finally got up the nerve to sign one, N.P. The next week, she was going steady with my best friend, Nicky Petropolis.
Rebecca: What'd you do?
Norm: The only thing I could do, really. I went over to Nicky, and I calmly explained the situation. Then I sat on him. [Rebecca laughs]
Rebecca: Oh, God. I think that's the first time I've really laughed since I took over here.
Norm: Oh, it is, trust me.
Rebecca: Why'd you tell me that story?
Norm: Well, I don't know. It's kind of late. We're alone. I'm a man, you're a woman. Maybe it's the paint talking.

Quote from Norm

Rebecca: Do you find me cold?
Norm: You? Cold? No. No, I wouldn't say cold. Coolish. In the brisk area, but, uh... Why? Who, uh who says you're cold?
Rebecca: Everyone.
Norm: Oh. Well, I don't think you're cold.
Rebecca: Really?
Norm: Yeah. I always meant to tell you that, but I didn't feel as though I could approach you.
Rebecca: Thank you, Norm.

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