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‘Wedding Bell Blues’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Cheers: Wedding Bell Blues

917. Wedding Bell Blues

Aired January 31, 1991

The morning of her wedding, Rebecca doesn't remember drunkenly telling Sam how she really feels about Robin.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: I don't know why people get so nutty during weddings. Hey, compared to some cultures, we got it easy. Take the Wanobis in Central Africa. Now, there's a ceremony. See, they get the lovebirds and smear them with a mixture of honey and sweet oil. Then it's off to the anthill.
Norm: [to the security guard] Uh, this man's bothering me.
Cliff: We're talking...
Security Guard: Why don't you come with me, pal?
Cliff: We're going to that little room downstairs?
Security Guard: Yes, yes.

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Quote from Rebecca

Robin: All right, so, you loved me for my money. Well, what if I were to tell you that I had $6 million stashed away in a money belt before my arrest? Now, would that make any difference?
Rebecca: No. No, it wouldn't.
Robin: I see. [clicks tongue] Well...
[Robin pulls a drawer out of Rebecca's desk, flips it over and removes a black belt]
Rebecca: What's that?
Robin: $6 million. Farewell, Rebecca. [exits]
Sam: [enters] Honey, I hope you don't mind, but I was listening outside. I can't believe you turned down all that cash! You're changing, honey. That was the bravest thing I've ever seen you do!
Rebecca: [sobbing] I thought he was bluffing, Sam! [rushes past Sam] Just let me go!
Sam: No! No! No!

Quote from Cliff

Frasier: Afternoon, everyone. Woody, may I have a beer, please?
Woody: Oh, just a second, Dr. Crane. I'm finishing up this article in Newsweek on genetic coding.
Frasier: Do you understand it, Woody?
Woody: No. Thank God I'm almost finished.
Norm: It says here in Scientific American they've isolated the gene that causes arthritis.
Frasier: What have you got there, Sam?
Sam: Ad for hair conditioner. It says it makes your scalp all tingly.
Frasier: Oh, I'm... I'm glad to see that you're all making an effort to keep yourselves informed.
Norm: Yeah, once a week or so, we do try to keep ourselves up on current events.
Cliff: Okay, gentlemen, toss 'em in. I got a route to finish.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: It just irritates me. I mean, I was all ready to sing at this wedding, and then you walk in the door. Well, naturally, you're the better singer. You're a professional. Well, I'd be willing to bet that I'm a better psychiatrist than you are.
Bobby Hatfield: Really? Uh, how long have you felt this way?
Frasier: Then again, I could be wrong.

Quote from Paul

Ed: Are you ready to go on with the ceremony?
Rebecca: No. Not yet. I need to work a few things out. I- I need somebody to talk to. Anybody. I- I- I really need some help! [closes the door]
[As everyone looks around, Paul shrugs his shoulders and decides to go to Rebecca]
Rebecca: Not Paul!
Paul: I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.

Quote from Lilith

Frasier: [sings] I hear singing And there's no one there I smell blossoms But the trees are bare All day long I seem to walk on air I wonder why
Norm: Lilith. Lilith, please get him off the damned karaoke machine. Okay? He's been on there for three days. Just make him stop.
Cliff: Yeah, you know him better than anybody else. There's got to be something you can do.
Lilith: I can only think of one thing, but it's pretty drastic.
Norm: Anything.
Frasier: [sings] I wonder why I wonder why
Lilith: [takes the microphone and sings] You don't need analyzing It is not so surprising That you feel very strange but nice
Frasier: Look who thinks she's Eydie Gorm.

Quote from Sam

Jonathan: Excuse us. We're working here. Dear, I'll need an extension cord for the dryer.
Rebecca: Oh, sure.
Sam: Hey, yo, pal. Listen, I don't care what you're doing here. Th- This happens to be the most important thing that... You use this gel? I tried this. It just dries my hair out.
Jonathan: Are you touching it during the critical drying stage?
Sam: What do you think I am, a rookie?

Quote from Carla

Rebecca: You guys, I have my new wedding dress and now all I need is something old, something borrowed, and something blue.
Carla: How about Norm's liver?
Norm: I am almost finished with it.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Yeah, boy, City Hall, the civil servant's home away from home. Yeah, you know, whenever the job gets me down, Norm, I just come around here and roam the halls.
Security Guard: Hey, pal, I thought we told you never to come back here. How many times we got to throw you out?
Cliff: Look, l- l'm with the wedding.
Security Guard: Is that true, sir?
Norm: Uh, yes, yeah, yeah, it is but, uh, stick around.

Quote from Carla

Sam: [panting] Oh, great, I'm not too late. Where's Rebecca?
Carla: She's in there. What's all this junk?
Sam: Oh, this is, uh, just some of her stuff. I broke into her apartment.
Carla: And you passed up her stereo equipment for this? Stay a bartender, Sam.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Uh, Miss Howe, I couldn't find your garter in your car, but I did find these jumper cables.
Rebecca: Woody, what am I going to do with these?
Woody: Well, they may not look so great, but they, they'll probably hold up your stockings. Of course, they might leave a mark.
Rebecca: Great, and what am I supposed to do after the ceremony? Throw a tire iron to the bridesmaids?
Woody: All right, I'll be right back.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: I'm, uh, ready to start.
Bobby Hatfield: [sings] And time
Frasier: Who's this bozo?
Bobby Hatfield: [talks] I'm Bobby Hatfield.
Rebecca: Yes, Robin gave him to me as a present. He's going to sing at my wedding. Isn't that wonderful?
Frasier: Oh. So he's in and I'm out? Well, fine. Instead of my personal gift of song, I'll just get you a set of steak knives. So you can cut out my heart again.

Quote from Lilith

Frasier: Well, it looks like I- I won't be singing after all. But Rebecca has graciously invited me to push the buttons for Mr. Bobby Hatfield. Let's see. What number is "Unchained Melody?"
Bobby Hatfield: U-14.
Frasier: Yes, master.
Bobby Hatfield: ["Unchained Melody" plays] [sings] Oh, my love My darling
Lilith: That's a lovely song.
Frasier: That's because we're close to the speaker.
Lilith: Every time I hear that song, it reminds me of the first time we saw Ghost.
Sam: Hey, Lilith, songs do make you remember things, right?
Lilith: Oh, most definitely. Music is perhaps one of the most evocative of the associative stimuli. Some fascinating data-gathering was done in 1957 in Brussels, when the- [Sam gets up and walks away] They always leave when I get to the interesting part.

Quote from Sam

Robin: Oh. You know, I just don't understand this. She's always seemed so stable before.
Sam: Did you two ever really talk?

Quote from Rebecca

Ed: Under the bylaws of the Massachusetts Fish and Game Commission... Oops. Sorry.
Robin: That's that's all right, Ed. We've, um We've prepared our own vows.
Ed: Oh. Go ahead.
Robin: Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May and Summer's lease have all too short a stay Sometime too hot the eye of heaven doth shine, and often is his gold complexion dimmed; And every fair from fair sometime declines, by chance or nature's changing course untrimmed; But thy eternal Summer shall not fade, nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wanderest in his shade when in eternal lines to time thou owest: As long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee. R- Rebecca?
Rebecca: I only loved you for your money. [runs out]

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