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Wedding Bell Blues

‘Wedding Bell Blues’

Season 9, Episode 17 -  Aired January 31, 1991

The morning of her wedding, Rebecca doesn't remember drunkenly telling Sam how she really feels about Robin.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: I don't know why people get so nutty during weddings. Hey, compared to some cultures, we got it easy. Take the Wanobis in Central Africa. Now, there's a ceremony. See, they get the lovebirds and smear them with a mixture of honey and sweet oil. Then it's off to the anthill.
Norm: [to the security guard] Uh, this man's bothering me.
Cliff: We're talking...
Security Guard: Why don't you come with me, pal?
Cliff: We're going to that little room downstairs?
Security Guard: Yes, yes.


Quote from Rebecca

Robin: All right, so, you loved me for my money. Well, what if I were to tell you that I had $6 million stashed away in a money belt before my arrest? Now, would that make any difference?
Rebecca: No. No, it wouldn't.
Robin: I see. [clicks tongue] Well...
[Robin pulls a drawer out of Rebecca's desk, flips it over and removes a black belt]
Rebecca: What's that?
Robin: $6 million. Farewell, Rebecca. [exits]
Sam: [enters] Honey, I hope you don't mind, but I was listening outside. I can't believe you turned down all that cash! You're changing, honey. That was the bravest thing I've ever seen you do!
Rebecca: [sobbing] I thought he was bluffing, Sam! [rushes past Sam] Just let me go!
Sam: No! No! No!

Quote from Cliff

Frasier: Afternoon, everyone. Woody, may I have a beer, please?
Woody: Oh, just a second, Dr. Crane. I'm finishing up this article in Newsweek on genetic coding.
Frasier: Do you understand it, Woody?
Woody: No. Thank God I'm almost finished.
Norm: It says here in Scientific American they've isolated the gene that causes arthritis.
Frasier: What have you got there, Sam?
Sam: Ad for hair conditioner. It says it makes your scalp all tingly.
Frasier: Oh, I'm... I'm glad to see that you're all making an effort to keep yourselves informed.
Norm: Yeah, once a week or so, we do try to keep ourselves up on current events.
Cliff: Okay, gentlemen, toss 'em in. I got a route to finish.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: It just irritates me. I mean, I was all ready to sing at this wedding, and then you walk in the door. Well, naturally, you're the better singer. You're a professional. Well, I'd be willing to bet that I'm a better psychiatrist than you are.
Bobby Hatfield: Really? Uh, how long have you felt this way?
Frasier: Then again, I could be wrong.

Quote from Paul

Ed: Are you ready to go on with the ceremony?
Rebecca: No. Not yet. I need to work a few things out. I- I need somebody to talk to. Anybody. I- I- I really need some help! [closes the door]
[As everyone looks around, Paul shrugs his shoulders and decides to go to Rebecca]
Rebecca: Not Paul!
Paul: I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.

Quote from Lilith

Frasier: [sings] I hear singing And there's no one there I smell blossoms But the trees are bare All day long I seem to walk on air I wonder why
Norm: Lilith. Lilith, please get him off the damned karaoke machine. Okay? He's been on there for three days. Just make him stop.
Cliff: Yeah, you know him better than anybody else. There's got to be something you can do.
Lilith: I can only think of one thing, but it's pretty drastic.
Norm: Anything.
Frasier: [sings] I wonder why I wonder why
Lilith: [takes the microphone and sings] You don't need analyzing It is not so surprising That you feel very strange but nice
Frasier: Look who thinks she's Eydie Gorm.

Quote from Sam

Jonathan: Excuse us. We're working here. Dear, I'll need an extension cord for the dryer.
Rebecca: Oh, sure.
Sam: Hey, yo, pal. Listen, I don't care what you're doing here. Th- This happens to be the most important thing that... You use this gel? I tried this. It just dries my hair out.
Jonathan: Are you touching it during the critical drying stage?
Sam: What do you think I am, a rookie?

Quote from Carla

Rebecca: You guys, I have my new wedding dress and now all I need is something old, something borrowed, and something blue.
Carla: How about Norm's liver?
Norm: I am almost finished with it.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Yeah, boy, City Hall, the civil servant's home away from home. Yeah, you know, whenever the job gets me down, Norm, I just come around here and roam the halls.
Security Guard: Hey, pal, I thought we told you never to come back here. How many times we got to throw you out?
Cliff: Look, l- l'm with the wedding.
Security Guard: Is that true, sir?
Norm: Uh, yes, yeah, yeah, it is but, uh, stick around.

Quote from Carla

Sam: [panting] Oh, great, I'm not too late. Where's Rebecca?
Carla: She's in there. What's all this junk?
Sam: Oh, this is, uh, just some of her stuff. I broke into her apartment.
Carla: And you passed up her stereo equipment for this? Stay a bartender, Sam.

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