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‘Our Hourly Bread’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Cheers: Our Hourly Bread

621. Our Hourly Bread

Aired March 10, 1988

After Woody, Sam and Carla ask for raises, Rebecca admits that the bar is losing money. Woody suggests holding a raffle to bring in new customers.

Quote from Rebecca

Woody: Wait a minute. Let's just stick with this title thing.
Rebecca: No, no, Woody, you said you would settle for a raise. Now, I'm going to hold you to it.
Woody: Oh, no, I blew it! I should have demanded a title. Money gets spent, but titles are forever.
Rebecca: No, Woody, I told you-
Woody: Doggone it, Miss Howe, you're not going to palm some raise off on me. I don't want money. I- I deserve a title.
Rebecca: Woody, I've met some tough negotiators in my life... All right, you deserve it. I'll go to the mat for you. Congratulations. You're the new Senior Bartender.
Woody: Get out! Senior Bartender?! Wait till I tell my folks! To think I came in here asking for a stupid little raise, and now this. I just hope it doesn't go to my head.
Rebecca: Oh, that's what's nice about you, Woody. Nothing ever goes to your head.

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Quote from Cliff

Larry: Hey, Sack-Happy, how you doing?
Cliff: Hey, there, Rubber Thumbs. Hey, I thought you'd be on a dim route by now.
Larry: I don't see you pushing many number one sacks there, Clavin.
Rebecca: What the heck are they talking about?
Norm: It's kind of a postal rap.
Cliff: Hey, there's a flap that you had a brush with utility.
Larry: Ah, 604 is all the way.
Cliff: Yeah, well, you know the scheme fin.
Larry: Yeah.
Norm: You know, I actually once thought of asking Cliff what it all meant, but then it occurred to me he might tell me.

Quote from Norm

Frasier: It's our one-month anniversary, and I'm just stumped about what to get her. Any suggestions?
Norm: Well, you could get her a nice "mank."
Frasier: "Mank"?
Norm: Yeah. You know, it's a mock mink. I got one for Vera. You cannot tell it from the real thing. It's great. Unless, of course, it rains, and then you just toss it in the dryer, and you leave the house for a couple hours.

Quote from Norm

Sam: Norm, you- You work for the big firms. What do they do when they need a lot of money?
Norm: All right, first off, they- They go and fire all the dead wood.
Sam: Yeah, then what?
Norm: I'm long gone by then, Sam.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: So, uh, correct me if I'm wrong there, Doc, but that's from the, uh, Machiavellian Cubist era, isn't it?
Frasier: No, Cliff, but, uh, thank you for participating just the same. No, my anniversary gift to Lilith is an abstract expressionist piece.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Hey, hey, hey, hey, what the hell kind of place is this? Who's the manager here, and why aren't they serving free drinks to calm this angry crowd?

Quote from Rebecca

Woody: Well, uh, Miss Howe, I've been here at Cheers for quite a while now. I'm a good worker, I don't take vacations, I'm never sick, and I was just wondering if...
Rebecca: No, Woody, Woody, I'm going to have to stop you right there. I cannot give you a title.
Woody: "Title"?
Rebecca: Yes, I know you deserve it, but the front office just doesn't let me hand those things out.
Woody: No, Miss Howe, you don't understand.
Rebecca: You know, sometimes people work here ten, 15 years before receiving a title. How can I justify?
Woody: Miss Howe, I want a raise.
Rebecca: Oh, is that all? That's fine. How much do you want?
Woody: Just like that?
Rebecca: Well, of course. I thought you came in here to beat me out of a title, but if you just want to settle for money, well, that's fine.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Attention. Attention, everyone. Now's the moment we've all been waiting for. I hope you're as excited as I am, because this is probably the most exciting event I've ever been to in my entire life. Well, e-except for the time that our prize cow Velveeta gave birth to a two-headed calf. Now I don't know how many of you have seen a two-headed calf get born, but the ones who have will bear me out.
Sam: Woody, Woody.
Woody: Actually, it's not as exciting as you might think. Only one of the heads could move.
Sam: Woody.
Woody: The other one just seemed kind of dazed.
Sam: Hey, Woody, pick the damn number, will you then?

Quote from Carla

Frasier: Well, l, I can't put this off another minute.
Sam: What's up, Frasier?
Frasier: I'm a man in a predicament, Sam. I've got to find a gift for the dearest, sweetest, most wonderful woman on Earth.
Carla: So, you finally dumped Lilith, huh?

Quote from Rebecca

Sam: I was wondering...
Rebecca: The answer is no.
Sam: Oh, come on, a little raise is not going to kill you.
Rebecca: No, a little raise is not going to kill me. And neither are those little free rounds of drinks we're always giving everyone. Or the little bar tabs all our friends are always running up. But you add them all together, and they spell bankruptcy. Which is probably more than you can do.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Uh, excuse me, folks. We still have the consolation prize to give away. 847 hand-numbered Ping-Pong balls.
Sam: No, Woody, Woody, Woody, man, don't do that.
Woody: All right. And the winner of the Cheers consolation prize is Number 11! [turns the ball upside down] Oh, no, here we go again.
Sam: No, Woody, let me explain something to you.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Uh, hey, Woody. A beer, and uh, one for mi compadre here, Normie.
[Norm falls of his bar stool]
Cliff: Are you all right?
Norm: Yeah, no, it's just... Sorry. I thought Cliff was going to buy me a beer.
Cliff: Well, uh, well, I am.
[Norm stumbles again]
Cliff: Hey, hey, Norm, Norm, no, come on, now, knock it off there, will you? Geez.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: It's just that my annual civil service raise came in today, you know, at three and a half percent, just like clockwork, you know, as if, uh, carrying that bag wasn't honor enough.
Woody: Wow, Mr. Clavin, you got a raise, huh?
Cliff: Yup.
Woody: I've been hoping for a raise for two years now. I haven't gotten diddly.
Cliff: Well, Woody, that is an outrage. You ought to walk right up to Miss Howe, look her square in the eye, and demand diddly. [laughs]
Norm: Ah, tell you what, you work overtime, you get over-diddly, pal.
Cliff: [laughs] And, uh, diddly-and-a-half on weekends... [laughs] and, uh, golden diddly on holidays, too.
Norm: Uh, Cliff? Cliff, the secret is knowing when to stop.

Quote from Woody

Sam: Oh, man, she conned you. She talked you into accepting a title instead of a raise. I don't believe you.
Woody: Hey, I'd like to see you do better.
Sam: [chuckling] Hey, she may be able to pull the wool over your eyes, but not mine. As a matter of fact, I'll prove it to you. You know, I'm due for a raise around here. Behold the master here. Woody, watch the bar.
Woody: Sam.
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Woody: Considering my new title, I don't think you can just give me orders like that.
Sam: You're right. Please forgive me. Um, I respectfully request permission to ask you to watch the bar, sir.
Woody: Money can't buy that kind of respect.

Quote from Sam

Woody: So, Sam, how much did you get?
Sam: Well, it's kind of complicated, Woody. It's all tied up with bonuses and stock options. But I can tell you that, uh, you're looking at the new Executive Supervising Bartender.
Norm: Well, congratulations, Sammy. You know, I'd say a promotion like that kind of deserves a round of drinks on the house.
Sam: Nice try, man.

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