Dr. Lilith Sternin Quotes Page 1 of 17

Quote from I'm Okay, You're Defective

[some time in the future:]
Lawyer: I am sorry about the passing of your husband, Lilith. Frasier was a good man, and we will all miss him.
Lilith: Thank you.
Lawyer: Well, I now have the unhappy task of reading your late husband's will.
Frederick: You okay, Mother?
Lilith: Yes. Thank you, Frederick.
Lawyer: "Sam Malone's sperm count is well within normal range."
Lilith: That damn bar.

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Quote from The Girl in the Plastic Bubble

Lilith: I'm going now. I'd like to leave a parting word. I want you to know that what I'm doing is very difficult. It is not to hurt Frasier. It's to acknowledge the fact that I'm changing. No one can go living year in and year out without ever changing. It's impossible. [looks at Norm and Cliff] Or at least it's very rare.

Quote from The Girl in the Plastic Bubble

Lilith: Well, I'm off. I don't know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I only hope I can realize my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had.
Carla: Like a body temperature?
Lilith: That's very good, Carla. Incidentally, I've taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I'll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint. God! That felt good.
Carla: Well... that was just plain rude.

Quote from To All the Girls I've Loved Before

Frasier: You know, it's uncanny, my darling, but there's not a room you step foot into where you're not the most beautiful woman there.
Lilith: That's deplorable sentence structure, Frasier. What you mean to say is that I am the most beautiful woman in any room I enter.
Frasier: Yes. Well, thank you for correcting me in front of 30 people.

Quote from The Cranemakers

Sam: How's she handling her pregnancy?
Frasier: Oh, same as any other woman. Perfectly normal, nothing unusual. Well, true, she does experience the occasional temporary hormonal imbalance, but you know Lilith, she's so repressed emotionally that only her husband would notice.
Lilith: [enters] Lay your hands upon me, everyone. I am life.
Frasier: Oh, boy.
Lilith: I am mother. My man's seed is nourished within me. Touch my breasts, my friend. I am lactating.
Sam: Boy, I tell ya, this is kind of a first for me, um... but I'm gonna pass.

Quote from Severe Crane Damage

Brenda Balzak: Ladies, look, let's keep this a civilized discussion. If you have points to make, we'll take them in an orderly fashion. [a woman raises her hand] Yes.
Woman: I have a question of a more serious nature.
Lilith: Oh, good.
Woman: What does Sam look like with his shirt off?
Women: [chant] Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shirt!
Brenda Balzak: Ladies, please. Let's get hold of ourselves.
Lilith: Now, this is the perfect example of what a bad boy like Sam can do to a room full of good girls like these fine women. One can't help but be attracted to his steely glance and the strength therein, to imagine the warmth of his skin pressed against ours, his arms pinning us down so we can't move. One sees his full lips and imagines what they must feel like slightly moist... Tugging at ours. Before long, one's feeling a little dizzy, and, oh, for God's sake, Sam, let the buttons fly. [lunges at Sam]

Quote from Home Malone

Frasier: Sam, can you be at our place in about an hour?
Sam: You bet. Where are you guys going tonight?
Frasier: Oh, well, I'm proud to tell you that my lovely wife is being honored tonight by the scientific community for her contributions to the study of sensory deprivation.
Lilith: It was serendipitous, I admit. I'd returned to the lab after a two-week holiday to find that I'd locked my lab assistant in the isolation tank. Suffice it to say, what could have been an ugly lawsuit turned into an award-winning paper.

Quote from Baby Balk

Lilith: [on the phone] I'm sorry. Please continue.
Rebecca: You know, Sam and I are trying to have a baby. All right, tonight when we were... Just when things got all you know, heated and involved, well he left for no apparent reason. I mean I don't think Sam was turned on.
Lilith: Oh, my God. The seventh sign.

Quote from The Girl in the Plastic Bubble

Lilith: Frasier?
Frasier: Well, look who's here. I suppose this is the part where we fight over who gets to keep our friends.
Lilith: [looks around the bar] No.

Quote from Abnormal Psychology

Lilith: Good afternoon, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Dr. Sternin. What a lovely surprise.
Lilith: I hope I can regard that as civility in light of today's situation, rather than sarcasm at my expense.
Frasier: No, that was completely at your expense.
Lilith: You know, I wasn't going to do today's show when I heard you were the other guest, but then I realized I'd relish proving my superiority over you in public.
Frasier: Yes, that appeals to me, too.

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