Woody: Oh, no. It's almost 5:00.
Norm: What's the problem with 5:00, Woody?
Woody: Well, every day at 5, this guy comes in and blabbers and blabbers and talks my ear off. I don't know what to do.
Carla: Why don't you do what I do. Tell him to shut his fat, ugly mouth.
Woody: Oh, no, it's not Mr. Clavin.
Frasier: Woody, Woody. Calm yourself. There's no need for concern. I'm sure he's just a lonely man who wandered in here one day and found a sympathetic ear. Unfortunately, indulging him will only aggravate the problem. You see, people in this situation have a tendency to prattle on endlessly, totally unaware of how others are receiving this unwanted, innocuous information. Now, the next time a neurotic personality such as this gets off on one of these jags, just turn your back and walk away. Because, you see, the important thing is, well... [Everyone walks away from Frasier] Well, just a second, I was... Oh, you merry band.

Diane: Well, there's not much to say. He's a man I dated a bit in Europe.
Woody: Was that before or after you dumped Dr. Crane and sent him into an alcoholic tailspin?
Diane: After.
Frasier: How long after?
Diane: Days. I met Jack at the running of the bulls in Pamplona.
Frasier: Isn't that just like a woman? While I wept bitterly into the Adriatic, she was busy dodging bovines in sunny Spain.
Diane: Frasier, I was upset. I would have done anything. I wasn't running to Jack, I was running away from you.
Frasier: Well, I feel better now.

Diane: Jack is really something, isn't he?
Sam: Are you kidding me? I mean... I could do all that macho stuff if I wanted to, but it wouldn't make me any more of a man.
Diane: Do I detect a hint of raised consciousness?
Sam: Yeah. I mean, a real guy doesn't have to jump on sharks and dodge poison darts just to prove he's a guy.
Diane: I'm astonished.
Sam: A real guy just has to score heavy with the babes, that's all.

Woody: Hey, Sam, I want you to know, if I'm ever in a life-or-death situation and things look hopeless, like there's no way of getting out alive, I want you there with me.
Sam: Thanks, buddy.

Sam: Oh, it would have been us one of these days, wouldn't it? You and me married? Hmm. Yeah, yeah.
Diane: Little Sams and Dianes running...
Sam: Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Why didn't I ask you when I had the chance?
Diane: Why did I go to Europe?
Sam: Oh, it's okay.
Diane: At least we're going together.
Sam: Yeah.
Jack Dalton: I love it. [both scream]
Diane: Jack, what the hell are you doing alive?
Sam: Dalton, fly the damn plane.
Jack Dalton: It was a little trick I learned in Tibet. I slowed my metabolism down to a heartbeat a minute.

Sam: Diane here yet?
Carla: No, no. Miss Tardy-Slip is late again. She probably stopped somewhere to think up another lame-o excuse for being late in the first place.
Diane: [enters] I'm sorry I'm late. I was taking a nap, and I forgot to set my alarm. And my down comforter felt so toasty. Well, you know me. I'm something of a slumber cat.

Diane: As fortune would have it, Jack came into my life at that point, and his love of danger intoxicated me. If he said, "Let's try the luge run at St. Moritz," I said, "Why not." I guess for a brief while, I was danger's mistress.
Frasier: Is there anyone whose mistress you weren't?
Diane: Put a cork in it, Frasier. Jack is from a period in my life that I would rather put behind me. I'm more mature now. More centered. Sam, I'm going to hide in the back. When Jack comes, just tell him I'm dead.

Diane: We're going to crash. We're going to die. They're going to check out our dental records to identify our remains. And I haven't been to Dr. Oberding for as much as a polish in over six months.

Sam: All right. All right, I saw this movie once where this perfectly ordinary lady had to land this airliner. So all we gotta do now is make radio contact with some guy on the ground, and he'll talk us down onto the runway.
Diane: What do you remember? Wait, what do you remember?
Sam: I remember thinking that, "These people are in a lot of trouble."

Sam: That was the rottenest, stupidest, sleaziest thing anyone's ever done.
Jack Dalton: Chambers, I saw comfortable and safe and domestic written all over your face tonight and couldn't stand it. You needed this. You too, Malone. You needed a step to the brink. You needed to look into the gaping maw of death and live to tell about it.
Sam: I'm gonna stick my fist in your gaping maw.
Jack Dalton: Oh, no, you won't. You'll live to thank me. From this day forward, you're reborn. Everything in your life's gonna be better.
Sam: You're crazy.
Jack Dalton: Food is gonna taste better.
Sam: I don't care.
Jack Dalton: Flowers are gonna smell better.
Sam: Hey, you're nuts.
Jack Dalton: Sex is gonna feel better. [Sam is silent]