Robin Colcord Quotes Page 1 of 4

Quote from Finally! (Part 2)

Robin: Rebecca, I knew I'd find you here. That's fascinating. Everyone else in the world, at the end of the evening, goes to their homes; you people come to this bar.

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Quote from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Bar

Robin: My God. Look at you people.
Sam: Robin.
Robin: Look at your bar, Sam. In your greedy desire to obtain a non existent money belt, you destroyed what was most important to you.
Sam: Excuse me. What was that word right before "money belt"?
Robin: Non existent. Fictitious. Uh, mythical.
Sam: Nothing? Not even like a small change purse?
Robin: Nothing. And here you've torn apart your bar. I'll bet you turned on each other, too. How many side deals did you have going?
All: Oh. [all groan and mutter]
Sam: Oh, Robin, man, how could you do this to us?
Robin: To show you what money can do to a person. You all despised me when I was wealthy. You didn't understand that I was victim of an illness: greed. But now you do understand, because all of you here tonight have fallen victim to that same illness. Hopefully you've all learned something. And that's why I did what I did. Uh... plus, uh, I never really liked you. Ta.

Quote from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad Bar

Robin: Just one thing I have to tell you.
Rebecca: How much? I mean, go ahead.
Robin: You see, occasionally, l, um, I supplement my meager lifestyle by stealing. I did some time for that in Louisiana. We may have to run from the police, sleep under bridges, eat out of garbage cans.
Rebecca: Oh, Robin, cut the crap. I said I would go away with you, yadda-yadda-yadda-yadda. Now, let's get real.
Robin: Uh, what are you talking about?
Rebecca: I'm talking about, you wanted to know if I would still love you if you were poor, and I would, so we've settled that. So how much money do you have? $30 million? $40 million?
Robin: You mean all this time you thought I was still wealthy and that's why you've been so kind to me? You haven't changed a bit, have you? You haven't matured. You're still the same selfish, gold digger you always were. I'm poor. Do you understand? Destitute. I have to shoplift for food. Sometimes I even have to beg for money.
Rebecca: Ten million?
Robin: Zero. I'm poor. And I have no desire ever to be rich again.

Quote from Indoor Fun with Sammy and Robby

Robin: But how do you think you would fare in a game whose outcome rested purely on intelligence, acumen, cognitive reasoning?
Sam: OK. Carla, break out the Yahtzee.
Robin: No. I was referring to the age-old game of chess. Or don't you indulge in such sport in this cultural wasteland?
Carla: Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute. Are you talking about my country?
Robin: No, I'm talking about this bar.
Carla: Oh. Well, you don't know the half of it.

Quote from A Bar is Born

Robin: Sam, do you want my honest opinion?
Sam: Oh, yeah, you bet.
Robin: This could work.
Sam: Yes! [accidentally hits his model]
Robin: By work, I mean, if you pour every dime you've got into the place, struggle, scrimp, and save and somehow hang on through the lean years, you might begin to show a tiny profit. After that, living month by month, year after year, praying there's no recession, you might actually scrape a living... A dismal, altruist living out of it.
Sam: OK. OK. So, um, what's the downside?

Quote from A Bar is Born

Robin: Actually, I had a thought about that other idea we had and I decided that might be fun too.
Sam: What idea was that?
Robin: You remember, the high-rise, with the river view. It turns out it's adjacent to the property that I'm developing, so I decided to buy the whole block and give it a go.
Sam: But you said- You said that was impossible.
Robin: No, I said it was impossible for you. For me, it was two phone calls and a handshake.
Sam: But that was my idea.
Robin: Was it? So hard to recall. The ideas were flying so fast and furious in there.
Sam: Wait a minute. Now, if I had bought that property, couldn't I have sold it to you for a profit?
Robin: You wouldn't take advantage of a friend, would you?
Sam: You talked me out of that place just so you could get it yourself.
Robin: I didn't talk you out of anything. I talked you into following your heart. You're a man with a dream, Sam. I envy you. But if it makes you feel any better, I'm willing to come to an arrangement.
Sam: Oh, yeah?
Robin: Yeah, let's see... Yes, you no longer owe me a favor.

Quote from Sam Ahoy

Cliff: You know, it's too bad you can't enter that race. I hear in the paper the first prize is $10,000.
Sam: It's up to $10,000?
Cliff: Yeah.
Robin: Gentlemen, in the time it takes me to say $10,000, I make $10,000. Oh, there I go again.
Sam: Look. $10,000.
Robin: Yes, it also works if you say it.

Quote from Indoor Fun with Sammy and Robby

Cliff: Mr. Colcord. You English guys, you play darts a lot, don't you?
Robin: Oh, yes, we English do nothing but sit around in pubs, sipping thick, warm ale, throwing darts incessantly, dropping our Hs, and singing God Save the Queen. That's all we do in England.
Woody: Wow, that film strip they showed in junior high was right on the money.
Robin: I'm sorry I snapped. It's, um, not because of you people. It's this business of, um, sitting around all day, doing nothing. Gets on my nerves, you know. Or, um... Maybe it is you people.

Quote from Indoor Fun with Sammy and Robby

Carla: Hey, hey, hey. Sammy's talking.
Sam: [over headset] Yeah, yeah. It's very clever of you to have moved your pointy-headed thing to the white square, second from the bottom on the far right.
Norm: Uh, right, Sam. OK, yeah, here we go. Holy cow. It went blank.
Sam: Pardon me?
Robin: What?
Sam: l... said pardon me. I burped.
Robin: No, you didn't.
Sam: Well, you couldn't hear me, but I did, and I'm sorry.
Robin: Oh. Well, then, gesundheit.
Sam: I didn't sneeze.
Robin: Well, perhaps you will one day, and I won't hear it.

Quote from Indoor Fun with Sammy and Robby

Sam: All right, all right. If you knew this game was fixed, then how come you went along with it?
Robin: Are you joking? That was the only thing about the game that held any challenge for me, Samuel.
Sam: OK, so, you knew it was fixed, and yet you went ahead and played. I say that I won fair and square. You owe me, one week's salary. Come on, bud, and don't, uh, leave out any of those little zeros there.
Robin: Oh, right you are, Sam. Um, I must preface this by saying that, um, in order to keep my tax bracket low, I am a corporation. And the nominal salary I pay myself as president of that corporation is $1.00 a year, which means that my weekly salary after taxes is... One penny.

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