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Norm's First Hurrah

‘Norm's First Hurrah’

Season 5, Episode 23 -  Aired March 26, 1987

After Norm is hired by a hotshot accountancy firm, he exaggerates the prestige of his new job.

Quote from Woody

Sam: You missing something, Woody?
Woody: Yeah, well, I had a $20 bill in my pocket and now it's gone.
Carla: Well, say good-bye to that Andy Jackson.
Woody: [to a man] Oh, see you later, Andy.
Cliff: Boy, oh, boy. Talk about your lucky days, huh? Just found 20 smackers back there in the pool room. Yeah, and to celebrate my good fortune, I'm gonna buy a round of drinks for all my, uh, friends.
Carla: What are you gonna do with the other 19 bucks?
Sam: Woody, that could be your $20 bill. The one you lost.
Woody: Hey, yeah, you know, I was in the pool room earlier.
Cliff: Wait a second. Now let's be fair about this. Uh, give me the serial number.
Sam: Oh, come on, man. Nobody knows serial numbers.
Woody: L-2-1-8-8-6-1-1-9-B.
Cliff: That's amazing.
Sam: How'd you do that?
Woody: Oh, I memorize the serial numbers on all my currency.
Sam: Why?
Woody: For just such an occasion. Tell you, though, I pray everyday I don't get rich.


Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
Norm: "See ya later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers."

Quote from Sam

Diane: Well, how can you compare Disneyworld and Tibet, where we might possibly unravel the mysteries of life?
Sam: Well, there, there are lots of mysteries you can unravel at Disneyworld.
Diane: For example?
Sam: Um, all right, all right, uh, why is it that, uh, Donald Duck wears a top and no bottom, whereas Mickey wears a bottom and no top?
Cliff: Oh, Sammy, it, it's because, you know, uh, a duck's privates are hidden by their feathers and mouse's is, uh, well, need I say more?
Frasier: While you're at it, I mean, why is it we've never seen Donald fly? I mean, I've seen that damn duck do The Carioca.
Carla: Yeah, and if Mickey's dating Minnie, how come he has such a high voice?
Sam: Oh, now, whoa, wait, are you trying to tell me that Mickey...
Diane: All right, all right, all right, we'll go! We'll go!

Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Evening, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Sam: Well, look at you. You look like the cat that swallowed the canary.
Norm: Give me a beer to wash him down.

Quote from Norm

Diane: Now, Norman. Please. Now don't let this faze you. You have to keep pushing. I know that this idea didn't succeed, but others will.
Norm: No, no, Diane. A few moments ago, I almost made the biggest mistake of my professional life, okay? And it was because I was doing something that just wasn't me. I am not a go-getter. I've never been a go-getter. And what's more, I don't even want to be a go-getter. I'm very happy right where I am. And I'm tired of all these people saying, "Peterson, you've gotta push. You gotta get ahead. You gotta make that goal." I don't even wanna make the goal, Diane. I wanna be a bench warmer, okay? The world needs bench warmers. I mean, if there were no bench warmers, what would we have? We'd have cold benches. A lot of cold benches. And the world does not need that, Diane. In this great pageantry of life, Norm Peterson may be a, a motionless lump, but he's a very damn good one.
Diane: Norman, I've never seen you so impassioned.
Norm: That's 'cause I believe in this, Diane. Look, Norm Peterson is totally happy being an anonymous cog in the gigantic machinery of this firm.
Supervisor: Oh, I forgot. Didn't you wanna say something at the meeting?
Norm: Just how delighted I was to be part of the firm, sir.
Supervisor: Well, we're glad to have you aboard, Springsteen.
Norm: I'm home.

Quote from Diane

Diane: Okay, let's let Norman get back to work.
Norm: Thanks.
Diane: Oh, Norman, keep up the spirits, huh? Remember: no small offices, only small people.

Quote from Sam

Diane: Sweetheart, we're going to have to decide where we're going for our honeymoon. Where do you want to go?
Sam: Boy, I don't know. Where- Where- Where do you want to go?
Diane: I told you where I want to go, Tibet.
Sam: Well, it's our honeymoon. Of course we're going to bed.
Carla: No, you whammo. Tibet the country.
Sam: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Quote from Frasier

Diane: Well, then it's settled. We'll go.
Frasier: Wish I could join you, but I've got an appointment at 1:00. Oh, what the hell? Mrs. Segal's rather a compulsive cleaner. If I'm a little late, maybe she'll tidy up the office.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: You're looking unusually chipper today.
Norm: Yeah, I'm feeling kind of chipper, Fras.
Frasier: Yeah, is there any particular reason, other than the fact that we live in a democracy and sushi bars appear to be on the decline?
Norm: Well, I was gonna tell Vera first, but why break tradition? I just landed a great new job at Masters and Holly and Dixon.
Diane: Oh, wonderful!
Norm: It's one of the top C.P.A. firms in Boston.
Frasier: Yes, I hear that's quite a successful firm. You know, over half of their executives require therapy on a regular basis. So, uh, here's my card.
Norm: Oh, great.
Frasier: Just in case.

Quote from Carla

Norm: It's a very impressive place. Uh, they occupy the entire 25th floor of the Boston Towers.
Carla: And they hired you?
Cliff: Yeah, it must have been the altitude. No, no, no, no, seriously, Norm, I'm sorry. You know, I hope this works out to be, you know, sort of a long-term arrangement for you. Long enough anyway for them to see you wear your other suit.
Norm: Very funny.
Norm: Very funny, you guys. But I'll have you know they gave me the key to the executive washroom this morning.
Carla: Did it come with a bucket and mop?

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