TV Quotes

Frasier: You know, it's uncanny, my darling, but there's not a room you step foot into where you're not the most beautiful woman there.
Lilith: That's deplorable sentence structure, Frasier. What you mean to say is that I am the most beautiful woman in any room I enter.
Frasier: Yes. Well, thank you for correcting me in front of 30 people.

Sam: Hey, the big day is around the corner, isn't it?
Frasier: Yeah, next Saturday. Lilith and I have been in the process of writing, editing, rewriting, and researching our wedding vows.

Rebecca: Uh, Lilith? What do you say we have a little get-together at my place tonight?
Lilith: That would be lovely.
Rebecca: Now, you're gonna have to tell me who to invite, because I don't know... anything about you.
Lilith: I only wish there were some way I could repay you, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Oh, don't mention it.
Lilith: If you ever need to admit a family member to a mental institution, I could certainly speed up the paperwork.
Rebecca: That's very dear of you.

Frasier: The thought of my Lilith having one last carnal fling with some fellow in a Speedo is beyond belief!
Norm: Now, Frasier, I mean, just 'cause some guy strips in her honor doesn't mean they're going to wind up in the sack together.
Frasier: Oh, no, no, no, you don't know my Lilith. I'll tell you, once her libido's cut loose, I mean, there's no tying her down. Unless, of course, that's what she's into for the evening.

Lilith: Hello, Rebecca. I have a small favor to ask regarding our impending wedding. Since all my close friends will be out of town, and we have had a previous conversation, and our eyes have met on a number of occasions, I was wondering if you'd consent to be my maid of honor.
Rebecca: Me? Isn't that usually your best friend?
Lilith: You are my best friend.
Rebecca: Oh, I'm very flattered. Um... I guess so. Sure, Lila.
Lilith: Lilith.
Rebecca: Right. Right. I knew that.
Lilith: Let's discuss wedding gowns. Do you think black...

Lilith: No one loves a good joke more than l. But I find that as our wedding day approaches, the frequency of these quips has increased. Are you having second thoughts?
Frasier: Well, only that I love you more now than I did five minutes ago.
Lilith: Leaving aside your schoolboy sophistries, let me make you an offer. If, after your madcap night of debauchery and vomiting, you still feel you want to go through with the wedding plans, call me and tell me so.
Frasier: But Lilith, that's entirely unnecessary.
Lilith: I beg to differ. Up until this point, you've only seen my warm and vulnerable side. Now I must become cold and analytical.
Frasier: As if you could, my treasure.
Lilith: Frasier, I need your reassurance. I'll be awaiting your call.

Frasier: As for me, I'm going to go back to my beloved, throw my arms around her milky-white shoulders, and let me tell you something, fellas. I'm going to tell her I'm devoted to her, and that I'm dedicating the rest of my life to her.
Lilith: [enters with a man] Hello, everyone. Frasier, is that you? Good. I hope this doesn't spoil the bachelor party, but the engagement is off. It's over, history, kaput. Good night.
Frasier: What?! She's kind of juiced.
Lilith: I can't be engaged to you, Frasier, because I'm marrying Randy here. If anyone wants to get us a wedding gift, his butt is this size.
Randy: Why don't you sit down, Dr. Sternin?
Lilith: Oh, "Dr. Sternin" is a little formal, isn't it? You can call me Sheena, Ruler of the Jungle of Love.

Lilith: Oh, Randy, don't leave me. I'll never be able to hear "Shock the Monkey" again without crying.

Frasier: Lilith, what were you thinking of?!
Lilith: I'm sorry, Frasier, it's just that I felt the need to get back at you. I waited all evening for you to call and say that the wedding was still on, but you didn't, you cur.
Frasier: I did call! Didn't Carla tell you?
Lilith: She was too busy licking Bosco off Randy's chest. I became increasingly more distraught and foolish as the night grew long. Of course, the 11 tequila shooters didn't help. And now, the epilogue is that my behavior has probably cost me the one man I truly love.
Woody: Oh, you can probably still catch him.
Norm: Woody, I don't think you're following along closely enough.
Frasier: Listen, you're not the only one who's behaved irrationally tonight. Lilith, I want to marry you anyway.
Lilith: You do?
Frasier: Absolutely.
Lilith: For the rest of my life, I will always cherish those words: "Lilith, I want to marry you anyway."

Sam: I swear to God. My very first time was in the sixth grade. School crossing guard. No! Hey, I swear to you.
Norm: Wow, that's more exciting than my first time.
Tom: Wedding night, Norm?
Norm: Uh, the following week.