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Sammy and the Professor

‘Sammy and the Professor’

Season 8, Episode 13 -  Aired January 4, 1990

Rebecca is excited to have dinner with her old college professor, until Sam tags along. Meanwhile, Carla is audited by the IRS.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Well, Sammy, maybe when she comes here, you can ask her some business tips on how to buy back Cheers.
Sam: Oh, that's a good idea, man.
Norm: Sammy, you seem like shocked that I had a good idea.
Sam: Oh, no. l... I didn't mean it that way.
Norm: Actually, I'm kind of surprised, too. I think I'll celebrate by having a beer. Damn, there's another good idea. Wow. I hope this isn't it for the year.


Quote from Rebecca

Sam: You know what I love about your book is the way you lay out that whole philosophy thing... Dare, decide it, do it. That's just so memorable.
Alice: Well, that was no accident. The common denominator is commitment.
Sam: Plus they all begin with Ds.
Alice: Yeah, well... The key is decisiveness. You know, that was always Rebecca's failing in school. She could never take a stand. She always had to ask what somebody else thought before she knew what she thought.
Rebecca: But I've changed since then.
Waiter: Have you made a decision, ma'am? The rest of your party are halfway through their salads.
Rebecca: Is the swordfish fresh?
Waiter: It was when you started ordering.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: All right, I know what I want now. Not chicken.
Sam: I'll have the spinach salad, lamb chops in mint jelly, and the broiled new potatoes.
Rebecca: That sounds good. How'd you come up with such a great combo?
Sam: It's the number 2.
Rebecca: What's this?
Waiter: It's our dessert menu. I thought you might like to hit the ground running.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Boy, it's getting scary around here.
Norm: Why do you say that, Woody?
Woody: Well, I mean, if Carla's getting audited, can I be far behind?
Norm: Come on, Woody. From what you make, and the way you handle it, if you made a dollar less, I do believe you'd qualify for food stamps.
Woody: All right. Then I'm sitting pretty.

Quote from Carla

Donald Zajac: Is there a Mrs. Carla LeBec here?
Carla: Who wants to know?
Donald Zajac: I'm Donald Zajac, Internal Revenue Service.
Carla: I'm the Widow LeBec.

Quote from Carla

Sam: Hey, Carla.
Carla: This is a black, black day.
Sam: The school out already?
Carla: Worse. I got a letter from the IRS.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: OK, everybody get to work. Woody, polish the bar rails. Carla, scrape all the gum from underneath the table tops.
Carla: Why should l?
Rebecca: Because you put it there.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: I have a great deal of respect for Alice Anne Volkman. She's not only a remarkable teacher and lecturer, but also the author of a book that's on the best-sellers list. Maybe you've heard of it, "Speak Out and Score".
Sam: Oh, yeah. I read that book.
Rebecca: You read her book? You read a book?
Sam: Well... To tell you the truth, it was an accident. I mean, who knew "Speak Out and Score" would be about business? I thought it was about babes, you know. You know, oddly enough, that business stuff really works on babes.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Hey, teach, Carla LeBec. Listen, I got this, uh, business problem. I'm being audited by the IRS, and I'm a little scared.
Alice: Oh, well, don't be. The lRS auditors aren't inherently evil monsters and sadists. They're people... Just like you.
Carla: Boy, I'm in worse trouble than I thought.

Quote from Rebecca

Alice: You had a question about how to buy Cheers?
Sam: Yes, I do.
Alice: What's the question?
Sam: How do I buy Cheers?
Rebecca: Sam, forget it. It's just a pipe dream. It's never going to happen.
Alice: Oh, Rebecca, nothing's impossible.
Rebecca: Nothing's impossible. If you put your mind to it, you can do it. We have faith in you.
Alice: Rebecca, honey, relax. You don't have to impress me. You never did.
Rebecca: I never did have to impress you, or I never did impress you?
Alice: Hmm, that's a pick 'em.

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