Cliff: Hold it, hold it hold it, hold it, hold- Look, no, I'm telling you, Normie, recent research into the Revolutionary War indicates that the, uh, defenders of this area were not called the, uh, Minutemen after all.
Norm: Oh, like every history book is then wrong, right?
Cliff: Oh, they were actually called the Minute Men. A lot of them under three feet tall, as a matter of fact.
Norm: Right.
Cliff: Way back in history, people were shorter.
Norm: All right, fine.
Cliff: Take, for example, the, uh, the Knights of the Round Table.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: Genuine midgets.
Norm: You're a very lonely man, aren't you?

Frasier: Oh, now there's one of my favorites, Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Norm: All right.
Cliff: Good one.
Frasier: A particularly trenchant analysis of the collective American psyche during the Cold War era, with the pod people representing the dehumanizing effect of the McCarthy hearings.
Norm: I guess we got, uh, plenty of other movies there.
Cliff: Here we go. Day the Earth Stood Still, a real classic.
Norm: Oh Klaatu barada nicto. [Cliff chuckles]
Frasier: For my money, the finest allegorical retelling of the life of Christ on film. Even better than E.T.
Norm: Next batter.
Cliff: Forbidden Planet.
Frasier: Well, that's a good choice. It's a witty revamp of Shakespeare's The Tempest with Robbie the Robot standing in for the sprite Ariel. Well, so what'll it be? [remote control clicks]
Narrator: [on TV] This, then, was the height of the literary use of Middle English.

Cliff: Check out Mr. Evan Drake over there, acting like he owns the place, eh? Thinks that he's just some, uh, big shot corporate executive, eh? Doesn't have to pay attention to the common man like you and me? We're not important enough.
Frasier: Well, actually, Cliff, if it helps to alleviate this envy that seems to be eating you up right now, studies have shown that rich people are 40 to 50% less happy than most of us.
Sam: Oh, come on, that's a crock.
Frasier: Well, of course it is, but we have to cling to it, don't we?

Evan Drake: Your cabin, you two.
Sam: Ah.
Evan Drake: Good night.
Rebecca: Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. I'm sure you don't have bedbugs on this boat, or any other kind of bugs. Do they even have bugs at sea? Well, maybe water bugs...
Evan Drake: Good night.

Carla: Oh, Mr. Drake?
Evan Drake: Hmm.
Carla: Um, I'm an insignificant cog in the vast machinery of your corporation.
Evan Drake: Nice to meet you.
Carla: You being a rich and powerful guy, you might think you'd let yourself get all fat and lazy, but you look like you keep yourself in pretty good shape.
Evan Drake: Well, I get to the gym a few times a week.
Carla: Good, good, then maybe you can catch the truck that's towing your Rolls. [Evan rushes out] I love to see rich people haul butt.

Sam: Well, let's see here. What little mermaid would like me to scale her tail this weekend?
Woody: What, you're not taking Miss Howe?
Sam: No, I thought I'd have fun instead. I'm tired of barking up that tree.
Woody: I thought Mr. Drake told you to take her.
Sam: Well, I'll just, uh, tell him we broke up, or something. Besides... [clears throat] I got this, uh, gorgeous dental hygienist that I've been trying to impress, and flossing every day just isn't doing it. [Woody chuckles] She'll love this yacht thing. She's, uh, into money in a big way.
Frasier: It's amazing how superficial some people can be, isn't it?
Sam: Oh, tell me about it. Good thing for her she's got a great set of hooters.

Rebecca: What is my problem? Huh? Every time I talk to him, I sound like a complete idiot. [sighs] Sam?
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: Did you ever get tongue-tied with a woman?
Sam: Oh, sure, lots of times. As a matter of fact, once we had to go to the emergency room.
Rebecca: They do have bugs at sea.

Woody: Oh, what can I get you?
Man #1: Well, let's see. Uh, today's my birthday. What's a good birthday drink?
Woody: Oh, well, Sam always buys a free beer for people on their birthday.
Man #1: Hey, that's great. Uh, actually, it's, uh, my girlfriend here's birthday, too.
Woody: Oh, well, she gets a free beer, too, then.
Man #2: Funny thing is, it's our birthday, also.
Man #1: Oh, yeah, that's how we all met. We were, uh, at the same party.
Woody: Wow. Free beers all around then, huh?

Cliff: Hey. Hey, hey, hey, there, Mr. Hoof and Mouth, will you put your thinking cap on? Hey, what are the chances of those four people having a birthday on the same day?
Woody: The odds must be astronomical. I'm just glad I was here to see it.
Norm: Hey, hey Woody, Woody, Woody, Woody. Don't you think it's the slightest bit of a coincidence that those four people happen to have the exact same birthday as... Cliff and me?
Woody: Really?
Cliff: A pitcher will be fine.
Norm: Yeah.

Rebecca: You've been working on your hair all this time, and it still looks like that?
Sam: Like what?
Rebecca: Like something you'd surf on.