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‘The Sam in the Gray Flannel Suit’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: The Sam in the Gray Flannel Suit

620. The Sam in the Gray Flannel Suit

Aired March 3, 1988

Evan Drake (Tom Skerritt) promotes Sam to a job in corporate.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: What does this mean? When did Evan start taking Sam to lunch? When did the two of them become good friends? When did I start talking to myself?

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Quote from Sam

Mimi: Mr. Malone, I hate to rush you, but people are waiting. Have you made a decision yet?
Sam: Yes, Mimi, I have. I'll take the tuna on toast with iced tea.
Mimi: Done.
Sam: Oh, and, uh, after lunch, we'll, uh, finish the memo I was drafting. Where did we leave off?
Mimi: "To whom it may concern."
Sam: Boy, I like the way that sounds.

Quote from Rebecca

Carla: Hey, Shoulder Pads, freeze.
Rebecca: Yes, Carla?
Carla: I seem to be a little short.
Rebecca: Yes, but you have a warm personality.

Quote from Cliff

Norm: What you reading, Cliffie?
Cliff: Oh, the, uh, Massachusetts Scientific Journal.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: Yeah. Yeah, you know, this, uh, magazine is sent to some of the most prestigious and high-minded intellectuals in the greater metropolitan area.
Norm: How come you have it?
Cliff: Some guy on my route left town and uh, didn't leave a forwarding address.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Something funny is going on here. Why did he hire Sam? Why is he making him an executive? What's the matter with me?
Woody: Well, for one thing, Miss Howe, you talk to yourself an awful lot.

Quote from Sam

Evan Drake: Ah, Sam.
Sam: Oh, hey, Evan. I'm sorry. I was engrossed in my work here.
Evan Drake: Just came to check on you. How you doing? Looks like you're making yourself at home here. Desk. Supplies, huh? And the requisite picture of your... uh, self.
Sam: It's not really a great one, but it's the only big one I had.

Quote from Woody

Rebecca: Ridiculous. Stupid Sam. Executive? [muttering continues]
Norm: I'm sorry. Are you talking to me?
Rebecca: No, I was talking to my- Yes, I was. So, you say that they did make Sam an executive?
Norm: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Cliff: Yeah. Yeah. Giving him the red carpet treatment over there. He's a regular Armand Hammer.
Woody: Oh, that reminds me. I got to change the baking soda in my refrigerator.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Well, I feel pretty bad. So bad.
Rebecca: I know. And I feel terrible that I had to tell you.
Sam: Oh, well there's no sense in us both feeling so bad.
Rebecca: Oh, God. I just hate to see you like this. [hugs Sam]
Sam: Oh. Oh.
Rebecca: You know, sometimes these things happen. But you will always have your job here.
Sam: Oh, it's not just losing the job. It's that I was, you know, taken advantage of.
Rebecca: I know. I know.
Sam: You know, that I was used, that I was just, you know, manipulated by somebody who just cynically wanted to get something from me. [Sam leans over and lays Rebecca against the couch]
Rebecca: Malone, what are you doing?
Sam: l- l'm feeling bad.
Rebecca: No, you are feeling pretty good.
Sam: Okay, I admit it. I'm not a sad guy. I'm a happy, horny guy. You know we need pity, too.

Quote from Carla

Carla: When you added up my paycheck, I think you forgot to count a couple of fingers and toes.
Rebecca: Oh, I'm afraid I had to dock you a total of two and three quarters hours for being late last week.
Carla: I had good excuses.
Rebecca: Three deaths in the family since Monday?
Carla: It's been a bad week.
Rebecca: Carla, Carla, here's a little time management trick that I use. I set my watch ahead a half an hour. That way, when I think I'm getting someplace on time, I'm actually fooling myself into getting there early.
Carla: Hey, you know, that makes good business sense, boss. I guess if I set my watch an hour ahead, it'd be twice as good, huh?
Rebecca: Right.
Carla: Hey, what do you know? It's lunch time.
Woody: No wonder I'm so hungry.

Quote from Carla

Cliff: Oh, hey, Carla, looky here. It says the Britain Institute's doing research on twins. Maybe you can get your gruesome twosome in there, eh?
Carla: Yeah, right, like I got nothing better to do than schlep Little Elvis and Jesse around. Especially so some pointy-heads can plug electrodes into their skulls to see what makes them slobber.
Cliff: That's too bad; they're offering, uh, 50 bucks apiece.
Carla: I always wondered what makes them slobber.

Quote from Sam

Carla: Hey, maybe he's going to put Sam in charge of the bar again.
Rebecca: What? Don't make me laugh.
Evan Drake: [coming down the stairs] Sam, I'm serious about that offer. Now, I want to move you up. What do you say?
Sam: Oh, sounds tempting.
Evan Drake: When I see you behind that bar, the more convinced I am your talents are being wasted.
Sam: Yeah, I know, I know, but they won't let me bring a bed in here.

Quote from Sam

Evan Drake: Uh, it's all set, Sam.
Sam: Hey, uh, listen. Uh, I'm really excited about this, but are you sure that I'm qualified? I mean, you know, I never even finished college.
Evan Drake: How far did you get?
Sam: Halfway through the application. I still have it here if you...
Evan Drake: Nah, that's okay. You're qualified.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Oh, my! I finally figured it out. Life makes sense, and I am not crazy.
Frasier: Well, that's only a layman's opinion.
Rebecca: Sam is a ringer. Evan just hired him to win the championship. In two weeks, he'll be out of there.
Frasier: Now, Rebecca, you can't tell him that. At least let the man enjoy his day in the sun.
Rebecca: All right. Sam has taken enough hard knocks this year. No, it's pleasure enough for me to just know. I won't break his heart.
Sam: Oh, hey, uh, Rebecca, the guys decided that you could be our cheerleader on one condition. Lose the bra. [raucous laughter]
Rebecca: I won't break his heart. I will rip it from his chest.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Well, Rebecca welcome to the, uh, executive office. Would you like to have a seat in the executive chair there? Or maybe on the executive sofa? Or how 'bout the executive lap? [recorded cackling]

Quote from Sam

Sam: No, but, uh, seriously, uh, what-what brings you down to corporate?
Rebecca: Oh, I have a little information about your promotion that I'm going to really enjoy sharing with you.
Sam: Oh, yeah. Listen. Before you do, there's something I want to talk to you about, too. Uh, sit down, please, sit down. [Rebecca sighs] Uh, I just want to say tha- that I'm sorry, you know, for teasing you the way I did and everything. I know we both had a lot of fun with it, but i- it wasn't right.
Rebecca: That's okay. I just wanted to tell you-
Sam: No, no, no. See, it, it wasn't okay. I mean, absolutely not. I- I think I was just trying to, you know, show off in front of the guys. Truth is this is all kind of new to me. I keep expecting somebody to come through the door and say, "Malone, job's over. You're through. Get out of here," and it's a big joke.
Rebecca: Good. Is it my turn now?
Sam: No, in a second, in a second. You know, the, uh, first thing that I did when I was alone in the office here, l, uh, called my father, who I hadn't talked to for over three years. And when I told him where I was sitting, you know, what I was looking out at, and, uh, what, what my title is... [sighs] for the first time ever, he told me how proud he was of me. [chuckling] Anyway. Whoa! Uh, what- What are you dying to tell me here? [clears throat]
Rebecca: Just that we are darn proud of you, too.
Sam: Oh, thank you! God, that's great. Thank you.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Sorry I'm late.
Evan Drake: I guess that about wraps it up.
Sam: Uh, say, before you go, I just want to say that I'm really backed up with paperwork, and I won't be able to make the game tonight.
Heppel: What? Can't make the game? Hey, wait a minute, Evan. I- I didn't give up my office two weeks to let this guy do paperwork.
Evan Drake: Easy, Heppel.
Sam: Heppel? What? You're Heppel? But I thought that you were supposed... Oh, boy. I- I am a ringer. That's right. I'm right, aren't l, that I'm a ringer?
Evan Drake: Well, I'll be straight with you, Sam. Sure, we originally hired you to pitch for the softball team, but, uh, actually, you've turned out to be somewhat of a surprise.
Sam: Oh?
Evan Drake: Yeah, yeah, you're a much better hitter than we anticipated.

Quote from Woody

Sam: Ho! Lock up your women! Sammy's back. [all greeting]
Frasier: Sam, you know, I'm sorry to hear about the termination there, buddy.
Norm: Yeah, tough luck, pal.
Sam: Yeah. Hey, easy come, easy go. No, truth is, it was a shock, but then l, uh... [clears throat] I went into the executive washroom, and I splashed some water on my face, and I looked in the mirror, and the mirror looked back and said, "You're not an executive, man. Get back to where you belong."
Cliff: All right. Smart there.
Woody: I thought they only had mirrors like that in the movies.
Sam: It's good to be back.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Oh, God, you are choice, Malone. You are just really choice. You will do anything for a roll in the hay. If you will play on my sympathies, then you will stoop to anything. God, I am tired of fighting you. I just don't have the strength to do it anymore. If this is what you really want, then by all means. [flatly] Take me here. Take me now. Please, please.
Sam: Are you serious?
Rebecca: Oh, yes. I want it bad. [Rebecca's body goes limp]
Sam: [turns the lights off] Well, all right.
[After Rebecca lays her limp body across Sam's legs, Sam tries to lift her arm around his neck but it just flops back down]
Sam: Is something wrong?
Rebecca: [Oh, nothing. Oh, baby, oh, baby. [falls to the ground]
Sam: Le- Let me get this straight. Is this what I can expect in the way of full participation?
Rebecca: Until I get tired. [Sam sighs as he stands up and walks out of her office] Was it good for you?

Quote from Woody

Rebecca: Payday, payday. Sam, Carla, Woody.
Woody: Oh, come to Papa, baby. Boy, have I got plans for you.
Cliff: Yeah, no kidding, Woody? What are you going to do with it?
Woody: Put it in the bank.
Norm: Whoo, don't get arrested, buddy.

Quote from Carla

Rebecca: Where's Sam?
Carla: He's upstairs having lunch with Evan Dreck.
Rebecca: Oh, God, Mr. Drake shows up on a day that I'm late?
Carla: Well, don't worry. I've covered for you. Told him you were drunk.

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