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‘Grease’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Grease

906. Grease

Aired October 25, 1990

Norm is devastated when his favorite restaurant, the Hungry Heifer, is listed for demolition. Meanwhile, Rebecca is upset when Robin Colcord is made to pick litter outside the bar, although Sam can barely contain his delight.

Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Woody: Hey, how would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.

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Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Sam: Hey, how's life treatin' you, there, Norm?
Norm: Beats me... then it kicks me and leaves me for dead.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Hi, Sammy. Sorry I'm late. There's a prison work crew in the park across the street. Man, you should have heard some of those raunchy, sleazy, come-ons.
Sam: Pretty bad, huh?
Carla: Oh, yeah. I really outdid myself. I should write a book.

Quote from Cliff

Woody: Sam, you missed a great lunch. Mr. Clavin and Mr. Peterson treated me at the Hungry Heifer.
Sam: How was it?
Cliff: Wednesday Ribscapade, Sammy. End of story.
Frasier: Well, where's the third member of your gastronomic suicide squad?
Woody: Mr. Peterson's still at the Heifer. Uh, you know, we got some bad news. They're gonna tear the place down.
Frasier: Oh, dear!
Woody: Well, I can see why Norm would want to spend some final moments of contemplation in the place that meant so much to him.
Cliff: No, no, he was just sopping up some gravy with a Parker House roll.
Frasier: Well, each man mourns in his own way.
Sam: I hope it doesn't hit him too hard.
Carla: What's the big deal? So they're leveling another beef joint.
Cliff: Another beef joint? You obviously have never been there for "You Keep the Hoof" night.

Quote from Norm

Sam: We feel bad 'cause we know how much the Hungry Heifer means to you.
Norm: You don't know the half of it, Sammy. I love the Heifer. Don't know what I'm gonna do without that place. It was like my home away from Cheers. If you'll excuse me, guys, I just want to be alone.
[As Norm walks away from the bar, Sam picks up Norm's beer.]
Norm: Hey, whoa! Ho. Not that alone.

Quote from Norm

Frasier: Now, Norm, there are there are many roads open to you. Geez, you well, you could do something to help save the Hungry Heifer. Or, well, better yet, you could help do something to save yourself! Turn over a new leaf. You could diet, exercise, work for a charitable cause. Or, if you want the ultimate way of guaranteeing your immortality, go home to Vera and start a family right this minute.
Norm: Frasier. You are right. When you're right, you are right! I am gonna do it! [friends shouting encouragement] I'm gonna save the Hungry Heifer!
Frasier: Well, what about, uh, dieting, exercise, making a baby with Vera?
Norm: Pfft! You do it.

Quote from Woody

Woody: I know how hard it is to get people to sign a petition. Yeah, I remember back in Hanover I tried to gather signatures to rebuild the town band shell after the Fourth of July explosion. Oh, I had a heck of a time. I couldn't even get my Uncle Elwood to sign.
Sam: Oh. Couldn't even convince your uncle, huh?
Woody: Oh, he was convinced. He just couldn't grip the pen. See, he was- He was in charge of lighting the fireworks. They had extra small fuses that year. [Norm starts to walk away] No- No-
Norm: Time to pound the pavement.

Quote from Cliff

Norm: Well, I went over to City Hall to drop off the petition, right? Stopped in to do a little research. It turns out that the Hungry Heifer is the only building on the entire Eastern Seaboard that has a giant red-eyed steam-snorting bull on the roof.
Woody: What about Hub's Steak Hut?
Norm: It's gone.
Cliff: Well, Lucky Chucky's Chuck House?
Norm: Struck by lightning.
Frasier: Bill's Place for Steak?
Norm: Stolen.
Cliff: Wow. That really is the end of an era.
Norm: Yeah.
Cliff: Wonder who's next. Are they gonna take down those big buckets of chicken? There's a message in this for the Big Boy: get rid of those overalls and get a real job. Yeah. You know who doesn't have to worry? Denny. [chuckles] Nobody knows what he looks like. Oh, sorry, was that out loud?

Quote from Norm

Norm: Anyway, the city planner's office issued a temporary injunction against any demolition until it can be determined whether the Hungry Heifer can be declared a roadside landmark.
Rebecca: Oh, congratulations, Norm.
Norm: Gentlemen, start your enzymes.
All: [chanting] Norm. Norm. Norm. Norm.
Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna invite you guys all to the Hungry Heifer tonight. Well, what was supposed to be a sad little farewell dinner is gonna turn into the happiest meal of Mr. Sid Nelson's life. Everyone's gonna be there, guys. Even the Big Eaters Circle.
Woody: You in that, Mr. P?
Norm: Oh, no, no, Woody, please. This is a closed table. I mean, someone has to die before you can get a seat there.
Woody: Wow, too bad.
Norm: Oh, no. These guys drop dead like once a week. I've got a real shot at it, I think.

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Well, you know, this is not atypical behavior. I mean, many people can form emotional bonds to significant places in their lives. I think we should all be very sensitive to what Norm is going through.
Sam: Yeah, you know, that's a good idea, Fras. Maybe we shouldn't say anything to remind him of the Hungry Heifer when he comes back here. You know, maybe not say any words like, uh, "beef" or "meat."
Woody: Sam, what about "meet" as in, "Let's meet for dinner tonight?"
Sam: Yeah. That'd be fine, Woody.
Woody: Great. W- Where do you want to go? You feel like Chinese?
Sam: You know, on second thought, maybe that's not a good idea.
Woody: That's why I asked.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Sid. Sid, what are you doing? You could start a grease fire in here. I mean, I know you have them every day, but this one could get out of hand.
Sid: You jerk. You ruined everything.
Norm: But I thought you'd be happy.
Sid: Happy? Why should I be happy? The developers were going to give me three times what this joint is worth.
Norm: I didn't know you wanted out of this place, Sid. Why?
Sid: How would you like to spend seven days a week up to your elbows in cow flesh?
Norm: Sid, I never knew you felt this way.
Sid: Well, I didn't always. But, I don't know, this is the '90s, Norm. We've learned a lot about the kind of poisons we've been putting into our bodies. Now, you look at that. You see some T-bones and a rump roast. I see a loaded gun. I've been carrying it around with me for a long time, Norm, the guilt for what I've been doing to bodies like yours.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Guys, guys, guys, look at this. Quick impression of Robin Colcord. [British accent] "Blimey. There's a lot of trash on the ground, isn't there? Well, I'll just have to impale it and flush it down the loo. Cor. Look, it's all over the place. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that."
[Sam accidentally jabs the foot of a warden who was walking out from the back of the bar]
Warden: All right, that's it. Let's go. You're spending the night in the box.
Sam: [laughs] What're you talking about, man? Hey, what're you doing? I'm not one of your prisoners.
Warden: I know, but you stabbed my foot. And I got a gun. So you're spending the night in the box.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Well, Rebecca, how are you on this magnificent day?
Rebecca: None of your business.
Frasier: [as John Wayne] Well, who stuck a burr under your saddle, missy?
Rebecca: Sorry, Frasier, I've just been in a bad mood lately.
Frasier: Would you like to talk about it? It might help to alleviate your depression.
Rebecca: No, I really wouldn't feel comfortable talking to you.
Frasier: Why is that? Because you know me too well to think of me as a therapist?
Rebecca: No, because I saw you dance around this bar in your underwear, with swizzle sticks in your ears, when they brought back Classic Coke.
Frasier: Well, granted, that wasn't my finest hour, but you can taste the difference.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Now, Rebecca, counseling people is what I do. Please let me help you.
Rebecca: [sighs] All right, Frasier. It's just that I can't seem to make anything work. Robin is in prison. I manage this crummy bar. My career is at a standstill. I'm miserable. I'm lonely. And now, I have to sell my Mercedes.
Frasier: I see. Well, I'll, uh I'll give you $5,000 cash and take over your payments.
Rebecca: Six thousand firm.
Frasier: Deal.
Rebecca: Thank you.
Frasier: Damn! It's good to heal.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: You know, Sam, this is a treat. I've got this side of the bar to myself. I can drink my beer and enjoy my newspaper without being pummeled on every side by inane chatter.
Sam: Yep.
Frasier: Say, look well, look at this. There is barometric pressure on Venus. Now, how did they measure that?
Sam: Beats me.
Frasier: A man was reunited with his twin brother after 30 years. They worked in the same auto plant in Columbus, Ohio!
Rebecca: That's nice.
Frasier: Say, would anybody like me to read their, uh, their horoscope? I'll, uh, start with Aries.
Sam: Somebody want to play with Frasier, please?

Quote from Sam

Sam: Carla, honey, I don't think Rebecca wants to talk about this right now. I mean, after all, her guy's in jail. I mean, she's lonely, she's hurting. She's a woman in need. She misses her man.
Rebecca: [sighs] I do, Sam. I do.
Sam: Say, hon... I just want to say that I know what you're going through right now, and if there's anything I can do for you, or to you I'm here for you. Or there for you or on the floor for you.
Rebecca: Gee, Sam. When you put it like that, you make me sick.
Sam: Well, you think about it, though. I mean, 'cause you're thinking about it right now. I bet if I took an X-ray of your brain, I'd be lying, right stretched out all naked.
Rebecca: Don't leave out the tag on your toe.
Sam: Would that tag happen to say: "For a good time, follow this leg?" [laughing] Whee! I sure know how to make my own fun, don't l?

Quote from Norm

Norm: Guys, look, uh, sorry I was getting all emotional about the Hungry Heifer, I mean... It's just that I'm losing someplace that's so close to my heart.
Carla: Don't you mean clogging your heart?
Frasier: Well, Norm, there are other restaurants.
Norm: It's not just the restaurant, it's the owner, okay? Sid Nelson. He's a funny kind of guy, you know? He's all tough on the outside, but really soft and mushy on the inside.
Cliff: Hmm. Not unlike his entire menu.
Norm: Anyway, Sid was always there for me.
Cliff: Not unlike his entire menu.
Norm: I remember one time, in college, I had to stay up all night to finish a term paper. Sid stayed up with me till we finished it. We also finished a two-pound onion loaf.
Frasier: Well, Norm, I don't blame you for being depressed.
Norm: No depressed? Come on. You know, life's only temporary anyway, right? When you're born, blah-blah-blah, you die. [Norm slides away his empty beer glass]

Quote from Carla

Frasier: Geez, Norm, I-I look at you and I see a man at a crossroads. This may be your very first brush with mortality, with the temporal nature of things. You may feel futile now, but there are ways to combat that.
Norm: Yeah? How?
Frasier: Well, by guaranteeing your own immortality. By leaving your mark on the world.
Carla: He always leaves two dents on the stool.
Frasier: Carla, please.
Carla: Well, he does! Big ones, too! When he goes home at night, this stool looks like it has a Mohawk!
Frasier: Look, I was hoping for something a little more life-affirming, thank you!

Quote from Carla

Carla: Come on, stop moping around. Look, why don't you do what any woman would do for her man: strip to your skivvies, grab a chamois and wash a couple of cars. Get your front wet.
Rebecca: I don't think Robin would respond to something cheap like that.
Carla: Oh, yeah? You should have seen how fast he stabbed that trash when I did it.

Quote from Norm

Norm: If I get like a hundred more signatures, I can bring this petition over to City Hall.
Frasier: Good for you.
Norm: Frasier, you were absolutely right. This feels right. This feels great.
[Norm puts on his sandwich board which reads "Save the Heiffer" on the front.]
Norm: It's been a long time since I pounded the bricks for a cause.
[As Norm goes to leave, the back of his sandwich board reads "All the way with JFK"]

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