Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Sam: How's life in the fast lane, Normie?
Norm: Beats me. I can't find the on-ramp.

Cliff: Hey, hey, your brow is a little furrowed there, my friend. What's the boney, Maroney?
Norm: Well, Vera's getting the urge to go on vacation again.
Sam: Oh.
Cliff: Don't worry. It'll pass. Happens every year.
Norm: No, I think she's serious this time. Maps have been unfolded.
Jackie: Where does she wanna go?
Norm: The tropics. Says she wants to lay in the sand and bake in the sun. I offered a compromise. I said, just turn up the radiator and stick your feet in the cat box.
Frasier: And she didn't go for that?
Norm: No, no. It's my own damn fault. You know, I think I've spoiled that woman.

Sam: So how'd it go?
Carla: Well, I had a problem with one of the customers.
Sam: Oh, yeah, what?
Carla: He refused to keep his hands on me.

Woody: Mr. Peterson, if you want the vacation of a lifetime, without spending a fortune, I have one word for you.
Norm: Yeah?
Woody: Hanover, Indiana.
Norm: All right. Well, what would I do for excitement in, say, Hanover, Indiana?
Woody: Well, if you leave right away, you can catch the Corn Parade. Now, that's kind of like the Rose Parade. But instead of using flowers for the floats...
Cliff: They use corn.
Woody: You've heard of it.

Diane: Oh, what a glorious night. Somebody pinch me. That's just an expression, Cliff. On second thought, don't pinch me. If this is a dream, I do not want to awaken. Listen, I know that you're all novices to the opera, so I'd like to give you a little background. Tonight's performance is in Italian. I'm sure that you will find it both enlightening and entertaining. Oh, by the way, does anyone need opera glasses?
Cliff: Oh, no, no. [pulls out a pair of large binoculars] I brought a pair of my own there, Diane.
Norm: Cliffie, think those are powerful enough, pal?
Cliff: You better believe it, Norm. Get a load of the warheads on that cellist.
Sam: No, hey, hey, hey. Don't, don't, don't.
Diane: So this charming piece is in three acts. It begins with Edgardo leaving for France to renew his vow of love for Lucia. Though both houses have maintained a feud for years. [Sam takes a peek with Cliff's binoculars] Enrico, Lucia's brother, arranges a marriage between his friend Arturo and Lucia by tricking her into believing that Edgardo has been untrue. But let's watch.

Norm: Pardon me, am I mistaken, or did you used to work at the Hungry Heifer?
Corinne: Sure, I worked there.
Norm: Yeah?
Corinne: Say, I know you. The girls there had a pet name for you.
Norm: What was that?
Corinne: That guy who comes back.

Cliff: Well, I heard from one of the guys down in the junk-mail room that there's a new act down at the old Wham Bam Room.
Norm: Oh, hot dog. Presenting the finest in nudie entertainment. Come on, Fras, what do you say? Let's go.
Frasier: Oh, you're inviting me along to this evening of devilment?
Norm: Sure. You got a credit card, don't you? There you go.
Frasier: You know, I'm not so sure if it really fits in with my image, you know?
Carla: A desperately lonely character on the make?
Frasier: Well, I guess I'm in. [beeper] Oh, sure. Just when I'm about to have fun. That's Mrs. Benedict.
Norm: How did you know that?
Frasier: Oh, because she's the person I'd least like to hear from. Even her beep is whiny. Excuse me, just two seconds.

Sam: [answers phone] Cheers. Oh, hi, Diane. Why aren't you here? Are you sick or something? Oh, well, you sound all stuffed up. Well, I hope you feel better. Bye-bye. [hangs up]
Frasier: What's the matter with her?
Sam: She said she's got this allergy where you weep uncontrollably. What do you think? Do you think we hurt her feelings a little bit too much last night?
Woody: Hey, maybe we ought to do something to make it up to her. Like send her a bouquet of flowers.
Cliff: Oh, cliche city, huh? You know, whenever I break the heart of a member of the gentler sex, I always send her a nice box of dried figs.

Sam: Do me a favor, just pick an opera where it doesn't sound like somebody backing over a cat. Please.
Frasier: We do happen to be in luck. You see, they're playing Diane's favorite tomorrow night. Lucia di Lammermoor by Donizetti.
Carla: Yeah? Well, count me out. You know, every time we had a family gathering, they always tried to get me interested in opera. I just couldn't stand it. It's just a bunch of fat, homely people screeching and trying to stab each other.
Frasier: Well, Carla, you know, not all operas are like that.
Carla: I was talking about the family gathering.

Diane: This is becoming the most perfect evening we've ever had together.
Sam: Oh, boy.
Diane: Sam? What is it?
Sam: Oh, l... I can't believe I'm about to say this. Uh, I gotta be honest with you. Frasier planned the whole evening. I had nothing to do with it. What do you think about that? Now...
Diane: Your saying this to me now is one of the most wonderful things you have ever done.
Sam: Oh, boy. Oh! Ha!
Diane: I'm even more attracted to you now than before.
Sam: Oh, that's great. Oh, that's great. Let's go.
Diane: Sam, wait.
Sam: No, no, don't say wait. Don't say wait.
Diane: We can't possibly have sex tonight.
Sam: Sure we can. Sure we can.
Diane: No, don't you realize what you did? You insisted on being honest to me. Respecting me as a person. Even though it meant risking the loss of a night of passion.
Sam: Yeah, well, that kind of stuff should be rewarded, you know?