Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Young Dr. Weinstein’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Young Dr. Weinstein

507. Young Dr. Weinstein

Aired November 13, 1986

Sam steals Diane's dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant by pretending to be a distinguished surgeon. Meanwhile, Woody tries to invent his own cocktail.

Quote from Sam

Diane: Dr. Weinstein.
Sam: Uh-uh, uh-uh.
Diane: You swine. It's one thing to pretend to be somebody else on the phone, but convincing others that you're a sophisticated gourmet is a little bit more than you can handle. You're going to blow it, Sam. You're going to be embarrassed in front of some of the most important people in Boston. And then you're going to slink out of here with your curly little swine tail between your legs.
Sam: You don't think I can handle this? Well, just watch. Excuse me, we'd like to start off with Bouches Parmentier au Fromage, followed by a salade maison, and for our entre, we'll have Tourte Froide D'Anguille Rabelais. Thank you so much.
Diane: Good, Sam; that was your busboy.
Sam: I knew that. He's got lips. He can tell the waiter, can't he?
Diane: Bon appetit, Dr. Weinstein.

Rate

Quote from Carla

Norm: That's, uh that's quite an achievement, though, Cliffie.
Carla: Oh, yeah? Look who's talkin'.
Norm: Oh, okay, all right. I know some people around here don't exactly think that I'm an overachiever, but, uh I'll tell you, I don't plan to go to my grave until I've made some sort of impression on this world.
Carla: [looks at Norm's bar stool] I'd say you've already made a deep one.

Quote from Diane

Sam: Say, you know, Darlene and I can't make up our mind whether to have some chili or a hamburger. Maybe this Cafe joint sounds just like the ticket. Well, you got the number there? [Diane laughs] What? What's the number? What?
Diane: Pardonne mon laughteur, Sam. This is not the sort of place you just call and make a reservation. My dinner companion is a Brundage, and even with that pull, he had to wait three months for a table.
Sam: Ooh, geez, I wonder how long he had to wait for the chairs.
Diane: Look what I'm dealing with. You consider food as a fuel to be salted down heavily, covered with ketchup, stuffed in your mouth, and on a good day, chewed. What I'm trying to say is, Sam, you couldn't possibly get a reservation at this late hour.

Quote from Sam

Diane: Dr. Weinstein? My date needs medical attention. Can you help?
Sam: My food just arrived.
Dr. Fisher: Well, I'm a doctor.
Diane: Sit down. I- I want the world-famous heart surgeon, Dr. Julian Weinstein.
Dr. Fisher: Well, of course; I bow to his greater skill.
Sam: Well, no, no, no, uh, why don't you go ahead there, Fisher, and give him a shot?
Diane: He's having chest pains, Doctor!
Sam: Oh, well, uh, why don't you time them and see how far apart they are?

Quote from Carla

Carla: Hope to see you again soon.
Man: Thank you, Miss. Oh, great. I can't even read that check.
Carla: Well, I'm so sorry if my handwriting isn't up to your high and mighty standards, but some of us don't get to sit around on our buns all day and practice our penmanship. Some of us have to go out and earn a living!
Woman: Here are your glasses, dear. You left them in your coat again.
Man: Oh, thanks.
Woman: What's wrong?
Man: Nothing. Let's go.
Carla: Oh, hey, um I'm really sorry. I- I- I don't know what to say, except I had a really bad day. Oh yeah, sure, Carla, bad day. Bad life is more like it. House full of kids, this crummy job. If I keep treatin' my customers this way, I'm going to lose even that.
Man: Uh, uh, here you go. I hope things'll start looking up.
Carla: Oh, no, no, no, no, I couldn't, I couldn't. Not the way I treated you.
Woman: No, please, please, please, we insist. [they walk away]
Carla: Ten bucks? [smiles]
Man #2: Excuse me, Miss. You forgot to, uh, give me a napkin.
Carla: I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say, except I've had a really bad day. Bad day? Bad life is more like it. A house full of kids...

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Yep! Hey, everybody, guess what? Today marks the beginning of my seventh year as a U.S. postal carrier.
Norm: Well, all right. Woody, I think that calls for a little drink on the house. What do you think, huh?
Woody: I think you're right, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: Yeah? Hey, what the hell, give Cliffie one, too.
Cliff: Hey. This guy, huh? Oh, yeah, imagine that. Seven years carrying the old bag around.
Norm: [snorts] Yeah, I know the feeling.

Quote from Carla

Woody: Can I tempt you?
Norm: Not bad. Really.
Cliff: Oh, hey, that's delicious.
Woody: Now all I got to do is fill out these forms and register with Bartender's Monthly Magazine, and my name will be a household word.
Carla: Yeah: doorknob.

Quote from Frasier

Diane: Oh! I have the most exciting news, everyone. Tonight I am eating dinner at The Cafe.
Sam: Ah, gee, that's pretty exciting. Tonight I'm driving home in The Car.
Frasier: No, you see, um actually, Sam, The Cafe is one of the trendiest restaurants. Eating there is considered, uh, to be rather a coup among certain, oh self-important and pretentious circles. Congratulations, Diane.

Quote from Norm

Carla: If this place is so hot, how come they can't think of a better name than The Cafe?
Diane: Oh, Carla, if you had any sense of style, you would know that a simple name connotes the very best of taste.
Norm: Hey, you're right about that, Diane. There's this joint out on Route One called "Eat". Don't miss it. It's great.

Quote from Frasier

Sam: God, I hate it when she's right.
Frasier: Ah, you didn't want to eat there anyway, Sam. The waiters pride themselves on rudeness, the portions are too small, and it's exorbitantly overpriced.
Sam: Oh, you couldn't get in either, huh?
Frasier: Not till April.

Quote from Frasier

Sam: Boy, I'd sure love to waltz into that joint tonight just so I could see the look on her face.
Frasier: Well, if it's that important to you, Sam, give me the phone. If Julian Weinstein, my good friend, can't get you in, nobody can.
Cliff: Ooh, the heart transplant wizard?
Frasier: Oh, one and the same, yeah. We went to prep school together. He's a well-known gourmet.
Sam: Yeah, well, wh- Why would he want to do this for me, though?
Frasier: He'd love to do me a favor. See, we dissected our first frog together. [on the phone] Hello, Julian. Julian, hi. Frasier Crane. How are you? Crane. C-R-A-N-E. Yes, yes, Dr. Frasier Crane. All right, fine. Uh, listen, I was wondering what you know about, uh... No, it's A-N-E! Oh, skip it! [hangs up] I'll tell you, you know, you open a few thoraxes, you forget who your friends are.

Quote from Diane

Diane: I don't believe it.
Jordan: Oh, neither do l. I was this close to Dr. Julian Weinstein.
Diane: That's not Julian Weinstein. That's the man who stole our reservation. [to the Maitre D':] That's not Julian Weinstein. That's an imposter. Ask him for his l.D. Ask him to spell l.D.

Quote from Sam

Dr. Fisher: Excuse me, uh, you aren't, uh, Dr. Julian Weinstein, are you?
Sam: Uh, yes.
Dr. Fisher: [chuckles softly] Well, this is really an honor. I'm- I'm Dr. Peter Fisher.
Sam: Oh. Uh, nice to meet you.
Dr. Fisher: Yeah. You know, I had no idea you were so young.
Sam: Well, l, uh, skipped a few grades in med school. [laughs] You got to have a sense of humor in this line of work.
Dr. Fisher: Say, if you'll indulge in a little shop talk, uh, where did you come up with that concept of combining antithymocyte globulin with, uh, cyclosporin A to combat tissue rejection?
Sam: On the beach.
Dr. Fisher: [uncomfortable chuckle] Nice meeting you.

Quote from Sam

Maitre D': Our chef Claude would like to say hello. He met you while he was a chef at La Ronde. Do you mind?
Sam: Oh, uh well, actu- Actually... Maybe, uh...
Maitre D': It won't take but a moment.
Sam: [to Darlene] Grab your purse. We've got to get-
Chef: Dr. Weinstein, so good- You're not Dr. Weinstein.
Sam: Yes, I am. Perhaps you hadn't heard about my accident.
Chef: Why, no, I didn't.
Sam: Oh, yes, yes, uh... terribly disfigured. Uh, thank God for plastic surgery.
Chef: Oh, I'm so sorry. But they've done a wonderful job.
Sam: Hmm.
Chef: You look much better. And taller.
Sam: Traction. It, uh...
Chef: Well, nice to see you again.
Sam: You, too.

Quote from Sam

Maitre D': Telephone for Dr. Weinstein.
Sam: Oh, um...
Maitre D': It's a Dr. Woody. He's in the middle of surgery, and he says he needs your opinion.
Sam: Thank you. [answers the phone] Hello? Wha- What? You're out of them? No, look, just, just check in the box right next to the scotch... Uh, tape. The scotch tape. We, uh... Sometimes we run out of stitches and have to improvise. Thank you, Dr. Woody.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode