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‘The Peterson Principle’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: The Peterson Principle

418. The Peterson Principle

Aired February 13, 1986

When Norm is up for a big promotion at work, he learns a scandalous piece of gossip about his rival.

Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Sam: Hey, what's happening, Norm?
Norm: You know, it's a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear.

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Quote from Cliff

Norm: I made the mistake of telling Vera that if I get the promotion, we could buy a new house. You know, so... It's always been a dream of hers to have house with a bathroom so big, if you fall down, you won't hit your head on anything.
Cliff: Well, now, that's smart. That's smart. Because, little-known fact, 42% of all deaths in America are caused by accidents in the home.
Carla: So were you.

Quote from Diane

Diane: Norman. If diligence, dedication and the old-fashioned puritan work ethic have anything to do with it, I'm sure... Good luck, Norman.

Quote from Frasier

Sam: Do you actually ever take pictures of things where you could see the things themselves?
Frasier: Well, I'm sure I must have. Well... Ah, ah, ah. Scenery at last. Now, this is Diane boating on the Seine. You know, I think that was my last carefree day on the Continent. But I digress. Uh, yeah. Here she is pretending to enjoy herself in front of Notre Dame.
Diane: I was enjoying myself.
Frasier: Of course you were. I didn't mean to imply anything else. And on to sunny Italy.
Sam: Boy, she doesn't look happy there, does she?
Frasier: No. How could she? She was much too preoccupied with thoughts of desertion.

Quote from Cliff

Norm: You guys all think that this is a bad idea for me to use this information?
Diane: Of course we do.
Cliff: Not everybody. You know, Norm, this Morrison is an adulterer and shouldn't be allowed to prosper by it. Now, if we let this type of un-American activity go unchecked, before you know it, our leaders will be in chains, our women will be learning how to shot put, and all we vital American males will be force-fed borscht along with generous helpings of Das Kapital.
Woody: That's not those fish eggs, is it?
Cliff: No, but it smells as bad.
Woody: Well, then you tell them Woody Boyd says nyet.
Cliff: Attaboy, Woody.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Hey, Frasier, I'm ready if you are.
Frasier: Oh, wonderful. Let's begin our evening of revelry.
Sam: All right. Now, listen. I wanna get one thing straight: Tonight, I don't wanna hear one word about Diane Chambers. Okay? We're gonna get out there and get your mind on more pleasant things.
Frasier: Agreed. Where are we going?
Sam: Well, I think the first thing we need is some female companionship. I know a couple of the hot spots, so why don't we just mosey along here. Let me tell you how this evening's gonna go here. Now, we're gonna probably walk into some really nice little spot there. You're gonna see a beautiful woman across the room. I mean hot, sexy. A woman you dream about. All right, now, her friend is for you. Got it?

Quote from Norm

Norm: Mr. Reinhardt. Hi, sir, how are you do--? Coincidence that you caught me in here. I was just using the washroom. What do you say we...?
Mr. Reinhardt: At ease, Peterson. We know you spend a lot of time here. This is where we send your checks.
Norm: That's very good. That's good, sir. That's good.

Quote from Woody

Diane: I'm so sorry, Norman.
Norm: Thanks. That was the easy part. Now I have to break the news to Vera.
Woody: What are you gonna tell her?
Norm: The truth, I guess. When she went to lunch with the other wives, she didn't pass muster.
Woody: Well, maybe she couldn't reach it. [Diane drags Woody away from Norm and whispers in his ear] Oh!

Quote from Norm

Norm: [on the phone] Hi, Vera. Listen, honey, no point beating around the bush here. I didn't get the promotion. In fact, I just got so mad at the guy, I just went ahead and quit. Yeah. Yes. Yes, they did, they gave me a reason, hon. They said that... Well, what they said was, I'm just not the right man for the job, you know. You just face it, honey, I'm a loser. I don't know why you just don't go just pack up your bags and leave me. Hello? That's very funny. That's cute. Listen, sweetie. There's something I have to tell you. Even on a terrible day like today, I feel like I'm the luckiest man in the world, because I married you. I don't know. I've had two, three, maybe. I'll talk to you later. Yeah. [hangs up]
Diane: Norman?
Norm: Yeah.
Diane: That's one of the finest things I have ever seen a man do. Yes.
Norm: How great, I'm unemployed.
Woody: Don't worry, Mr. Peterson. Something else will come along.
Norm: No, no, I mean, great, I'm unemployed. Give me a beer here.

Quote from Carla

Vito: Mrs. Tortelli?
Carla: Oh, you must be Vito Ragonzoni.
Vito: That's right.
Carla: The young man who wants to take out my little Anne Marie.
Vito: Yes, ma'am.
Carla: Soda, Sam. Thanks for coming by, Vito. Anne Marie told me that you wanted to take her to the movies, and I just wanted to meet you, get to know you a little better, you know.
Vito: Okay.
Carla: Here you go.
Vito: Thanks.
Carla: Well... You certainly are a fine-looking young gentleman. No doubt about that.
Vito: Thank you, ma'am.
Carla: So, what movie you taking Anne Marie to see?
Vito: Uh, 101 Dalmatians.
Carla: Oh, that's a Walt Disney, isn't it?
Vito: Yes, it is. Oh, one of my favorites, as I recall. It is not only entertaining- [Carla takes a Polaroid of Vito] Turn to the left, please. -it has a nice message. Now to the right. Thank you.
Vito: Ms. Tortelli, I'm getting the feeling that you don't trust me too much.
Carla: Oh, gee, Vito, I'm sorry. I kind of guess I'm being a little overprotective. You know, it's my little baby's first date. But now that I see you, I see you're a fine upstanding gentleman, so here, tell you what. Go on, get out of here. Have some popcorn on me. Have a good time.
Vito: Thanks, Mrs. Tortelli.
[Carla picks up Vito's glass with a bar towel and places it in a plastic baggy]
Carla: Sam, keep it in a safe place till the boys from the lab get here.

Quote from Sam

Frasier: Oh, and, Diane, I came across these slides of our trip to Europe. I didn't want to throw them away and didn't want them. I thought perhaps you'd like them.
Diane: Oh, that's very thoughtful, Frasier. I'd love to look at them.
Sam: Well, hey, I got a projector and a screen in the backroom there.
Diane: You said that projector was broken when I wanted to show my slides of Colombian art.
Sam: Well, yes, it is broken when you wanna show your slides of Colombian art.

Quote from Norm

Sam: Vera has been phoning every 15 minutes here.
Norm: So, what's this for?
Sam: Well, I told her you'd call the second you got in.
Norm: Well, you lied. All right.
Diane: Norman, maybe it's an emergency.
Norm: No, I know why she's calling. You know the account-manager job I'm up for? Well, it's between me and this one other guy, and today's the day they're supposed to make their decision.
Cliff: Oh, pins and needles time, huh?
Norm: Yeah. Vera's really a mess, you know. Except she's always had kind of a low threshold for excitement, you know. Yeah. You wouldn't believe the tizzy she went into the day she cracked open a double-yolked egg.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Anyway, these guys, they're really giving us the full treatment. Yesterday, the executive wives invited Vera to a luncheon at a fancy French restaurant.
Cliff: Hey, hey.
Norm: Experience really changed her. She now refers to the Velveeta as fromage, thank you.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: All right, everybody. Filter on in here. There's plenty of seats for everybody. Yup, come along, now. Come along. Now, if everybody's passports are in order, we begin our sojourn in merry old England. Ah, yes. Here's Diane at the Tower of London.
Woody: Where's the tower?
Frasier: It's right there. She's standing in front of it. Yeah. And here she is at the changing of the guard.
Cliff: Where are the guards?
Frasier: Well, if you look very closely, you can see them in the reflection of her sunglasses. Which hide her eyes. Which hide her emotions. And here she is in front of Big Ben.
Sam: That wall looks just like the other wall.
Frasier: Ah, but imagine that at the top of this wall there's a clock.

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Ah, yes, beautiful Florence.
Woody: She looks just like Miss Chambers.
Frasier: It is Diane, Woody.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: I think this is the night I proposed to her. Yes. You see, she's laughing at me.
Diane: I am not laughing at you. I'm smiling for the camera.
Frasier: Of course you were. You're about to rip out my heart. Yes. Yes, here she is plotting her betrayal in front of the Ponte Vecchio. How appropriate, in the country of Lucrezia Borgia.
Diane: Frasier, you're incorrigible.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Frasier, here. Listen, been a long time since I went out and raised a little hell. What do you say you and I go out and get crazy? You know, a couple of guys giving the women of Boston their best shot?
Frasier: Well, this is a pity offer, isn't it?
Sam: Basically.
Frasier: Okay. Might be just what the doctor ordered. You know, rattle my cage a little.
Sam: All right, that's the ticket. Listen, I got a few things to do for a while, so why don't you just sit down here and be a good little boy, and Sammy Claus will take you out later and get your tree trimmed.

Quote from Norm

Diane: Norman, think for a moment what you're about to do. This could even backfire on you. You don't even know if this terrible rumor is true.
Norm: Well, I have a pretty good idea it might be. Mrs. Reinhardt came on to me at the Christmas party.
Diane: What did she say?
Norm: "Move it. You're standing in front of the cheese dip." But she said it with bedroom eyes.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Norman, a snitch is the lowest thing on this earth. You know it. Little kids know it. Old ladies know it. Dirty, rotten-toothed prisoners in dark, wet cells know it. Norman, if you tell on this guy, and your friends find out about it, they are gonna hate your guts.
Norm: How are they gonna know?
Carla: I'll squeal like a stuck pig.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Sir, I think I ought to tell you something. This is terribly personal, and it could really be painful for you. Probably gonna change your life in every way but... Before I get into it, would you like a cheese doodle? I have a craving for... [goes to the bar] Could I have some cheese doodles, please?
Diane: No, Norman.
Cliff: Yeah, yes, Norm. Yes, yes.
Diane: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Cliff: Yes, yes, do it, do it. Yes, yes, yes.
Mr. Reinhardt: Who are those people, Peterson, and why doesn't one of them want you to have a cheese doodle?
Norm: She's actually-- She's trying to help me watch my dairy intake, sir.

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