‘The Peterson Principle’
Season 4, Episode 18 - Aired February 13, 1986
When Norm is up for a big promotion at work, he learns a scandalous piece of gossip about his rival.
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
Sam: Hey, what's happening, Norm?
Norm: You know, it's a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear.
Quote from Cliff
Norm: I made the mistake of telling Vera that if I get the promotion, we could buy a new house. You know, so... It's always been a dream of hers to have house with a bathroom so big, if you fall down, you won't hit your head on anything.
Cliff: Well, now, that's smart. That's smart. Because, little-known fact, 42% of all deaths in America are caused by accidents in the home.
Carla: So were you.
Quote from Diane
Diane: Norman. If diligence, dedication and the old-fashioned puritan work ethic have anything to do with it, I'm sure... Good luck, Norman.
Quote from Frasier
Sam: Do you actually ever take pictures of things where you could see the things themselves?
Frasier: Well, I'm sure I must have. Well... Ah, ah, ah. Scenery at last. Now, this is Diane boating on the Seine. You know, I think that was my last carefree day on the Continent. But I digress. Uh, yeah. Here she is pretending to enjoy herself in front of Notre Dame.
Diane: I was enjoying myself.
Frasier: Of course you were. I didn't mean to imply anything else. And on to sunny Italy.
Sam: Boy, she doesn't look happy there, does she?
Frasier: No. How could she? She was much too preoccupied with thoughts of desertion.
Quote from Cliff
Norm: You guys all think that this is a bad idea for me to use this information?
Diane: Of course we do.
Cliff: Not everybody. You know, Norm, this Morrison is an adulterer and shouldn't be allowed to prosper by it. Now, if we let this type of un-American activity go unchecked, before you know it, our leaders will be in chains, our women will be learning how to shot put, and all we vital American males will be force-fed borscht along with generous helpings of Das Kapital.
Woody: That's not those fish eggs, is it?
Cliff: No, but it smells as bad.
Woody: Well, then you tell them Woody Boyd says nyet.
Cliff: Attaboy, Woody.
Quote from Sam
Sam: Hey, Frasier, I'm ready if you are.
Frasier: Oh, wonderful. Let's begin our evening of revelry.
Sam: All right. Now, listen. I wanna get one thing straight: Tonight, I don't wanna hear one word about Diane Chambers. Okay? We're gonna get out there and get your mind on more pleasant things.
Frasier: Agreed. Where are we going?
Sam: Well, I think the first thing we need is some female companionship. I know a couple of the hot spots, so why don't we just mosey along here. Let me tell you how this evening's gonna go here. Now, we're gonna probably walk into some really nice little spot there. You're gonna see a beautiful woman across the room. I mean hot, sexy. A woman you dream about. All right, now, her friend is for you. Got it?
Quote from Norm
Norm: Mr. Reinhardt. Hi, sir, how are you do--? Coincidence that you caught me in here. I was just using the washroom. What do you say we...?
Mr. Reinhardt: At ease, Peterson. We know you spend a lot of time here. This is where we send your checks.
Norm: That's very good. That's good, sir. That's good.
Quote from Woody
Diane: I'm so sorry, Norman.
Norm: Thanks. That was the easy part. Now I have to break the news to Vera.
Woody: What are you gonna tell her?
Norm: The truth, I guess. When she went to lunch with the other wives, she didn't pass muster.
Woody: Well, maybe she couldn't reach it. [Diane drags Woody away from Norm and whispers in his ear] Oh!
Quote from Norm
Norm: [on the phone] Hi, Vera. Listen, honey, no point beating around the bush here. I didn't get the promotion. In fact, I just got so mad at the guy, I just went ahead and quit. Yeah. Yes. Yes, they did, they gave me a reason, hon. They said that... Well, what they said was, I'm just not the right man for the job, you know. You just face it, honey, I'm a loser. I don't know why you just don't go just pack up your bags and leave me. Hello? That's very funny. That's cute. Listen, sweetie. There's something I have to tell you. Even on a terrible day like today, I feel like I'm the luckiest man in the world, because I married you. I don't know. I've had two, three, maybe. I'll talk to you later. Yeah. [hangs up]
Diane: That's one of the finest things I have ever seen a man do. Yes.
Norm: How great, I'm unemployed.
Woody: Don't worry, Mr. Peterson. Something else will come along.
Norm: No, no, I mean, great, I'm unemployed. Give me a beer here.
Quote from Carla
Vito: Mrs. Tortelli?
Carla: Oh, you must be Vito Ragonzoni.
Vito: That's right.
Carla: The young man who wants to take out my little Anne Marie.
Vito: Yes, ma'am.
Carla: Soda, Sam. Thanks for coming by, Vito. Anne Marie told me that you wanted to take her to the movies, and I just wanted to meet you, get to know you a little better, you know.
Carla: Here you go.
Carla: Well... You certainly are a fine-looking young gentleman. No doubt about that.
Vito: Thank you, ma'am.
Carla: So, what movie you taking Anne Marie to see?
Vito: Uh, 101 Dalmatians.
Carla: Oh, that's a Walt Disney, isn't it?
Vito: Yes, it is. Oh, one of my favorites, as I recall. It is not only entertaining- [Carla takes a Polaroid of Vito] Turn to the left, please. -it has a nice message. Now to the right. Thank you.
Vito: Ms. Tortelli, I'm getting the feeling that you don't trust me too much.
Carla: Oh, gee, Vito, I'm sorry. I kind of guess I'm being a little overprotective. You know, it's my little baby's first date. But now that I see you, I see you're a fine upstanding gentleman, so here, tell you what. Go on, get out of here. Have some popcorn on me. Have a good time.
Vito: Thanks, Mrs. Tortelli.
[Carla picks up Vito's glass with a bar towel and places it in a plastic baggy]
Carla: Sam, keep it in a safe place till the boys from the lab get here.