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Bar Wars VII: The Naked Prey

‘Bar Wars VII: The Naked Prey’

Season 11, Episode 19 -  Aired March 18, 1993

Sam is hopeful that after ten straight losses to Gary's Olde Towne Tavern on Saint Patrick's Day, this will finally be the year they win one over on their archrival.

Quote from Sam

Norm: Sammy, what's up? I thought you wanted to get an early jump on Gary.
Sam: Yeah, I did. That's why I'm here at 9:00.
Norm: 9:01, Sam. Some of us were here at 9:00.
Sam: Hey, relax, will you. It's in the bag. I fixed it so Gary can't ever win.
Norm: Yeah? Yeah? What'd you do?
Sam: Yeah, you're gonna love this. You know that- That sign he's got outside his window there, "50 cent beer, Saint Patrick's Day Special?"
Carla: Yeah.
Sam: Yeah, well I added a zero. I mean who's going to pay $5 for a beer, huh?
Carla: Good one, Sam.
Sam: Yeah. [laughs] Sometimes I scare myself.
Norm: It's 9:02, Sam. Let's go.
Sam: All right. Sorry. $5 beer. Yeah, let's see him top that, huh?

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Quote from Sam

Norm: Oh, Sammy, look who's here. Harry the Hat.
Sam: Aw, man, how many times am I gonna have to chase that guy out of here? Grab your wallets, everybody. Hello, Harry.
Harry: Hey, Sam.
Sam: What you doing, trying to sell some bogus watches, some knock off's to my customers and try to cheat 'em?
Harry: Sam, that hurts. This is no knock off. That's a $5,000 Rolex. But it's on sale for $2,500.
Sam: Is this a real Rolex, Harry?
Harry: Yeah.
Sam: Whoa. [hits it against the table] Hey. Sounds like a Rolex, doesn't it? Oh, look at that... [drops it in a beer] Still ticking, too.
Harry: Uh, Sam.
Sam: Hey, do me a favor. Just, just take your bogus goods and peddle them someplace else, will ya?
Salesman: [walks over] So Harry, are you interested in buying the watch?
Harry: No, but I think my friend Sam might be.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Hey, everybody, I've got great news. I applied to the Boston League of Businesswomen, and they might let me join.
Woody: Oh, who are they?
Rebecca: Oh, it's this very prestigious organization that helps raise the stature of women in society and that kind of crap.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Can you believe it? The League rejected me.
Frasier: Why?
Rebecca: Because they said I was too self-involved and that I wasn't community-minded enough. So now I have to spend the next six months doing community service. Yawn. Woody, get me a charity on the phone.
Woody: Which one?
Rebecca: Well, how the hell do I know?! Just make sure it's close by. And I don't want one that's real depressing. And no weekends!

Quote from Sam

Sam: [on the phone] All right. All right. But now, the band I'm looking for is gonna have to be able to do all the old Irish standards. Yeah. "Danny Boy," "Galway Bay," "When Irish Eyes are Smiling", that kind of thing. You think you can handle that? All right then. Okay, I'll get back to you. Yeah, adios to you too, Manuel. [hangs up]

Quote from Sam

Frasier: Oh, well, I see you're getting an early jump on Saint Patrick's Day.
Sam: Yeah. That's right. You know, this time tomorrow when Gary's still decorating Olde Towne Tavern, this place's gonna be open, people are gonna be flooding in.
Frasier: That's a good idea, Sam.
Sam: You're damned right. Hey, finally, for the first time, St. Patrick's Day, Cheers is gonna do more business than Gary's Olde Towne Tavern. Yes!
Woody: Yes!
Frasier: I wouldn't be too sure about that. He's beaten you ten years running.
Sam: I know but I've got a feeling. You know, lucky 11?

Quote from Norm

Woody: We can't lose this time, Dr. Crane. We're pulling out all the stops. We've got, a two for one special, we've got balloons, we've got a live Irish band, we've got Mr. Peterson mixing up some green beer.
Sam: Oh, hey, how's that beer coming, Norm?
Norm: You want it fast or you want it good?
Sam: Come on, you've been working on it for three hours.
Norm: And I'm prepared to work on it all night long, Sam, because damn it, I care.

Quote from Carla

Sam: Hey, Carla. You- You through in there?
Carla: [o.s.] Hold your horses. I'm coming. [comes out dressed like a leprechaun] Shut up, everybody.
Cliff: Hey, look, everybody. It's our little leprechaun, Brill O'Head.
Carla: Keep talking, Clavin, you'll lose your left Blarney Stone. This outfit is ridiculous. I mean, I want to beat Gary as much as the next guy, but I'm not wearing this, okay?
Sam: I think it kind of looks nice.
Paul: Yeah, I think it looks kind of sexy.
Carla: That's it.

Quote from Sam

Frasier: Sam, may I have a word with you?
Sam: Yeah.
Frasier: I strongly urge you to reconsider. Listen, why do you think Gary's so willing to up the stakes? I mean, it stands to reason that he thinks he's going to win.
Sam: No, no, he's bluffing.
Frasier: What makes you think that?
Sam: Well he- he's beaten us ten times in a row. And not one of those times has he raised the stakes. He's running scared.
Frasier: Well, don't I feel stupid.
Woody: All those degrees really don't do much, do they, Doctor?

Quote from Norm

Sam: See now, that, that's not right.
Carla: Gary did it to us again.
Norm: Walled off from the keg. I want him dead, Sam. His family, dead. His friends, dead!
Sam: Oh, now see, this... This is... This is the lowest thing a person can do. This is pure evil.
Carla: Yeah. Why can't we think like that?
Sam: Tell me about it.
Norm: I thought you left Woody here to guard against things like this.
Woody: [o.s.] Sorry, Sam. I fell asleep.
Carla: They walled Woody in the bar.
Sam: Woody, you all right in there?
Woody: Well, I'm feeling light-headed and woozy, Sam.
Norm: That's the way I want to feel. Somebody tear this thing down!

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