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‘Backseat Becky, Up Front’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Backseat Becky, Up Front

625. Backseat Becky, Up Front

Aired May 5, 1988

When Rebecca's boss, Evan Drake (Tom Skerritt), announces he is moving to Japan, she fears she's missed her chance to reveal her feelings for him.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Sam, I will never have Mr. Drake. I will never have any man. I will just dry up, crumble into dust and blow away.
Sam: Oh, come on. That doesn't sound like you. That sounds like some lovesick self-pitying, whiny... No, that's you all right.

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Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: I tried not to look, but the rearview mirror was just huge, and I couldn't help it. And then I got so upset, I just wrapped the company limo around a 7-Eleven.
Sam: Well, that is dreadful. Very, very, very sad.
Rebecca: [sighs] And then Evan and his cheap imitation Geisha bimbo whore grabbed a taxi. While I had to stand there and wait for a tow truck. Oh, and then this cop came along, and he asked me to see my chauffeur's license. God, if only I'd had one. Or if only I'd remembered to bring my purse with my own driver's license. Or if only I'd resisted arrest and he just shot me dead.

Quote from Sam

Sam: But I'm not gonna let you give up.
Rebecca: What do you care? What does anybody care?
Sam: Listen, I pride myself in being a connoisseur of beautiful babes, and I'll tell you. I'm not gonna sit by and watch a great woman like you going to waste. It's like, a- a thoroughbred pulling a milk wagon. It's like a rare wine... pulling a milk wagon.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: I love you, Mr. Drake. There. I said it. I love you. I love you more than anyone I've ever loved in my whole life. I love you more than any woman's ever loved a man. Mr. Drake? Hello? [hits her head on the partition] Ow! Oh, God. [partition lowers]
Evan Drake: Rebecca? What are you doing up there? Where's Martin?
Rebecca: Uh, Martin got sick looking for your topcoat, sir, so I'll be driving you to the airport.
Evan Drake: I appreciate that, if it's not too much trouble.
Rebecca: Uh... Anyway, now that I've got you alone here, Mr. Drake, the real reason I'm filling in for Martin is so that I could tell you what I wanted to tell you all night. What I've been trying to tell you since the first time I met you. [horn honking] Get off my tail, scuzzball! Mr. Drake, with all my heart...
Evan Drake: Could you turn right at the next corner here, Rebecca? We have to pick up Christy.
Rebecca: Oh, yes, sir. Mr. Drake, with all my heart... Christy?
Evan Drake: Yes. She's the young lady who is accompanying me to Japan.
Rebecca: "Accompanying" in the modern sense of the word?
Evan Drake: Yeah, you might say so. She's a very special woman. Very up front. Aggressive, even. [chuckles] You know, the first time we met a few months ago, she was the one who actually asked me out. God, that's refreshing.
Rebecca: Mm-hmm. Ah.
Evan Drake: Anyway you wanted to ask me something?
Rebecca: Oh, yes, sir. I just wanted to tell you that... that this is really a lot of car to handle. I can't believe I have the strength to keep from swerving into the oncoming traffic and killing us both.

Quote from Woody

Sam: Oh, dear. Martin seems to be locked in the closet there. Does anyone know how to drive a limo around here?
Woody: Well, I've driven a tractor. It can't be that different.
Sam: No, Woody, when I said anyone, I meant Rebecca.
Woody: Well, in the future, Sam, you might try using a little something that's popular back in Indiana called "direct address."
Sam: I'm- I'm sorry.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: You know that Drake guy? He's probably the kind of bloke that has his knuckle hair removed with electrolysis. Yeah, he's probably got one of those electronic zappers that he uses to forestall his receding hairline. And I bet ya, I bet ya a dime to a donut, that he has his loofer and he rubs himself raw to get rid of his cellulite. Well, it was in last month's Soldier of Fortune, okay?

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: You wanted to talk to me, Mr. Drake?
Evan Drake: Yes, yes, yes, I do, Rebecca. Let's sit down here, okay? Thank you. Well, this conversation is long overdue.
Rebecca: I couldn't agree more, with all my heart.
Evan Drake: You don't know what I'm going to say.
Rebecca: Oh well, I agree again.
Evan Drake: Something... Something very exciting is happening to me. It's going to change my whole life. It's a huge risk.
Rebecca: Take it! Take it!
Evan Drake: I'm moving to Tokyo. I'm going to take over the Japanese division. I leave tonight.
Rebecca: Yes, darling, yes! [groans and faints]
Sam: I told her to take that outside.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: I don't believe it. Everything was going so well. Then everything went so black.
Sam: Oh, don't worry about it. Women faint all the time. Well, in cartoons, they do.
Rebecca: Do you think he noticed?
Sam: Yes, yes, I- I think he did. He, uh, he said that every time he sees you, you do something more bizarre than the time before.
Rebecca: What did you say?
Sam: Well, honey, I had to agree.

Quote from Carla

Rebecca: What? What? What?
Carla: Look, look, look, I wouldn't have butted in, but I know that tonight is your last chance to tell the boss you got a case of the screaming thigh sweats for him.
Rebecca: How did you know that?
Carla: Woody put out a special edition of the newsletter.
Rebecca: Why didn't I just write it on the bathroom wall?
Carla: I'm way ahead of you. Anyway, look, I've been down this road a few times myself, and take it from a pro, there is one thing you always have to do before you tell a guy you love him.
Rebecca: What's that?
Carla: Lose the mustache. [hands Rebecca a razor]

Quote from Woody

Evan Drake: Oh, thank you. Thank you, Woody. Damn. I changed all my American money into yen. I don't have a tip for you. I'm sorry, Woody.
Woody: Oh, that's okay, Mr. Drake. I don't need a tip from you.
Evan Drake: Okay.
Woody: [to himself] Cheap, cheap, cheap.
Rebecca: Mr. Drake, as I was about to tell you-
Evan Drake: Hey, hold on, hold on Woody. Woody, come here a second. I've got these company courtside tickets to the Celtics-Lakers game. Will you take those in lieu of a tip? Huh?
Woody: Yes, sir. I- I hope you'll forget about that cheap crack.
Evan Drake: What cheap crack?
Woody: You're a prince.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: These are some USDA, uh, prime tickets here. So, uh, who's going with you?
Woody: Oh, gee, I don't know.
Norm: Well, I think the obvious choice would be me, Woody. I mean, Cliff here is always making fun that, uh, you're a yokel. Whereas, I completely ignore the fact that you're a yokel.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Sam, forget it. I'm going to let that man out of there.
Sam: Hey, don't give up. Don't give up.
Rebecca: What do you want me to do? You want me to masquerade as a chauffeur, get him alone on the highway, and tell the man I want to have his babies? [loudly] Martin, I'll be getting that key now.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: Oh, God. This has been the worst night of my life.
Sam: Oh.
Rebecca: Of anybody's life. I pour out my heart and soul to the man I love, then he tells me he's taking someone else across the globe.
Sam: I hate guys like that. [closes the curtains]
Rebecca: And she's really cute, Sam.
Sam: Oh.
Rebecca: And they made out in the back seat. And he didn't even roll up the window.
Sam: The man is a pig. [dims the lights]

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: [answers phone] Hello.
Sam: Hi. Listen, if this is what it takes to be a friend, then I really want to give it a shot, okay? So we've got all evening here. Pour your heart out.
Rebecca: Where are you?
Sam: I'm downstairs at a pay phone. [clears throat] But just, uh, pretend like I'm right there beside you, all right?
Rebecca: Thanks, Sam.
Sam: Yeah. Yeah, you're welcome.
Rebecca: Well [weepy] as you know, I have loved Evan Drake since the first time I saw him.
Sam: I know.
Rebecca: Sam, this is silly. Get up here.
Sam: No...
Rebecca: Sam, you know what I've been through. You're not going to take advantage of me.
Sam: Oh, yeah? Do me a favor, will you? Check your bra.
Rebecca: How did you do that?

Quote from Rebecca

Evan Drake: Rebecca, I've got to use the phone here.
Rebecca: Oh, you're a phone person, too? So am l. Isn't it amazing how much we have in common?
Evan Drake: Thanks.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Sam, listen. Don't you find it interesting that of all the fine restaurants in Boston to dine, that Evans should repeatedly dine at Melville's right upstairs from where I can be found every day of the week?
Sam: No, no. But I do find it interesting that your button's undone there, and your bra has a little bow in the middle.
Sam: So, uh, what, you think the big guy's finally coming around, huh?
Rebecca: No, he's in there using my phone. Can't you see? Since his divorce became final, he uses all of his spare time to be around me. He is in my office right now sitting in my chair, his lips just inches from the mouthpiece that I use every day.
Sam: You're right. I'm an idiot.

Quote from Rebecca

Evan Drake: Excuse me. Rebecca, can we talk?
Rebecca: Excuse me, Sam. I'm being beckoned.
Sam: Listen, if- if this is what you think it is, can I give you some advice?
Rebecca: What?
Sam: If you're going to make an ass of yourself, take it outside.
Rebecca: I'm not going to make an ass of myself.
Sam: All right.
Rebecca: [walks into a chair] I was just getting it out of my system.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: He is leaving for Japan tonight forever, and I never got to tell him how I feel.
Sam: Well, hey- No, wait. You know, listen, why don't you tell him at the good-bye party?
Rebecca: What good-bye party?
Sam: The one you're gonna throw for him tonight. Listen, it's a great idea. I'll make it a- a Japanese theme. Yeah, yeah, we'll have chips and cheese.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Sam, I can't tell him.
Sam: Oh, please, please, do this for me, will you? I've been watching this sappy movie for God knows how long. I want to see if the girl gets the guy.
Rebecca: If only once I'd ever had any little bit of encouragement from him. Some teeny, tiny shred of evidence that he even knew I existed.
Sam: Well, now, he- he did express some concern while you were out cold there.
Rebecca: Oh, yeah, I bet. What'd he say?
Sam: Gee, I- I hope she's not dead.
Rebecca: He did? Oh, God. And all this time I thought maybe I was kidding myself.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: That's a perfect illustration of life's bitter irony, isn't it?
Norm: Oh, how's that, Cliff? I mean, would you pass the beer nuts?
Cliff: There's a guy like Drake... It's a fabulous job...

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