‘Strange Bedfellows, Part 2’
Season 4, Episode 25 - Aired May 8, 1986
As Sam's relationship with Janet Eldridge (Kate Mulgrew) becomes serious, she tells him to fire Diane from the bar.
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Evening, everybody.
All: Norm!
Woody: What's going down, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: My cheeks on this barstool.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Welcome to the losers' club, baby. Now that you've paid your dues, here's your membership card. Yeah, we're a pair, aren't we? A couple of chumps that life just kicked in the teeth, and why am I talking like Broderick Crawford?
Diane: Frasier, I know you think I'm jealous of Janet and Sam's relationship, but I'm not. I just don't want to see him get hurt. That's really all there is to it.
Frasier: I think you're kidding yourself, Diane. We both know the reason you've been down in the dumps. But believe me, there's no need to be. Sam is not really happy with that woman. Just imagine the mental strain it must be trying to use the right fork all the time. Don't give up hope. I haven't.
Diane: You're a lovely man. I'm sorry I hurt you. I wish there was some way I could make you forgive me.
Frasier: Well, marry me. Bear my children. Let me die in your arms.
Diane: I was thinking more along the lines of making fudge.
Frasier: Well, I like your fudge.
Quote from Diane
Diane: The last time we had an official parting of the ways there was some question as to who left whom. That is why this time I've gone to the trouble of tendering my resignation in the written form. Legal precedent states that the written document always supersedes the spoken word, especially when it's spoken by a goof.
Sam: Oh, fine. Fine. Who cares? See you in the funny papers.
Diane: Oh, that's perfect. The funny papers. Don't say another word. Let that be the last utterance I remember. And now I'm off to begin a new life. I shall forget you in a trice.
Sam: Oh, a trice? Please, let that be the last word I hear from you.
Diane: You troglodyte.
Sam: That's even better!
Quote from Diane
Diane: Attention, everyone. May I have your attention, please? I have resigned. I know this comes as a shock, but I've decided that I no longer fit into the scheme of things around here. I go willingly with a gladful heart, for it has been my pleasure to serve you, and my privilege to know you, lo, these many years. I shall miss you all. But weep no tears for Diane Chambers. She's tougher than you think. She's going to be okay. You bet she is. So this is goodbye. For there's one thing I know: You will never, ever see me again. Farewell.
[After Diane leaves without her coat, she sticks her hand back through the door, facing away from the crowd, to try grab it from the coat rack. As Diane reaches for the coat, Carla pulls the coat rack away from her, until Diane is forced to lean back into the bar and face everyone]
Carla: Hey, look, everyone. It's Diane.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Oh, puke.
Sam: What?
Carla: Will you cut it out? I mean, that is the sappiest junk I've ever heard. Look, you've proven your point. You can go out with classy dames like her. You can go out with anybody. Now, you've had your fun. I want you to just quit fooling around, march right out there, and find yourself an airhead with big casabas.
Sam: What the heck has gotten into you, Carla?
Carla: Sammy, it's just not right. You are not a one-woman guy. I mean, it's like the time of your great sickness.
Sam: When I went out with Diane.
Carla: That's right. You're starting to get me worried.
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson. Can I pour you a beer?
Norm: Well, okay, Woody, but be sure to stop me at one. Make that 1:30.
Quote from Diane
Sam: Is she here yet? Oh, good, good. You're just the person I wanna see. Sweetheart, you are far too bright, talented and lovely to waste your--
Diane: Before you go any further, read this.
Sam: All right. Well, does this--? Does this mean you're quitting?
Diane: Isn't that what it clearly states on page five?
Sam: But why? I mean, I don't understand why.
Diane: My reasons are enumerated here above the graph.
Quote from Carla
Sam: Hey, Carla? Carla, is Diane here yet?
Carla: [mocking] No, Diane is not here yet. That is the third time you've asked me that. Why would you, or anyone for that matter, want to see her?
Sam: Well... Just curious. No reason.
Carla: Well, when she gets here, I'll make an announcement, okay? What's your problem?
Sam: Carla, has it ever occurred to you that Diane doesn't really belong here?
Carla: You mean this bar or this planet? Either way, it's yes.
Quote from Norm
Norm: Gary. What say you park her down here, and I'll buy you a brewski, eh?
Gary Hart: Thanks. I think I'll take a rain check.
Norm: Oh, well, in that case you can buy me one. Just kidding, you know. Sort of.
Quote from Diane
Gary Hart: Sam, I better run. Thanks. Good to see you again.
Sam: Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for dropping by.
Diane: Oh, my God, it's Gary Hart. Did you see Gary Hart? I saw Gary Hart. [runs after him] Senator Gary Hart.
Could have been President Gary Hart. Could still be President Gary Hart. Gary Hart, that's... Gary... [to Sam] I was just showing you how silly it looks. Please, don't do it again.