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‘One Hugs, the Other Doesn't’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Cheers: One Hugs, the Other Doesn't

1016. One Hugs, the Other Doesn't

Aired January 30, 1992

When Frasier and Lilith take Frederick to see a famous children's performer, Nanny G (Emma Thompson),  Frasier realizes the entertainer is his ex-wife.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Pretty good eats, huh, Norm?
Norm: Not bad for a two-year-old. l, myself, have been enjoying these teeny little tuna fish sandwiches shaped like tiny little dinosaurs.
Cliff: Yeah, quite ironic actually, uh, seeing as how tuna, known in Latin as Pisces middayicus roughly translated as "lunch fish" was, uh, was not a contemporary of the, uh, prehistoric reptilian land wanderers.

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Quote from Lilith

Lilith: So Frasier was married to that... Oh, how would one describe her? Bitch. Never even told me about her. Well, if that's what he wants, he can have it. [sings] I want to shake your hand, snatch you bald I want to scratch your eyes out I want to drain your blood and replace it with a Mercuric chloride, formaldehyde And alcohol solution. [laughs] You had to be there.
Carla: Boy, never seen this side of Lilith before. I like it.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Oh, I know what Lilith's going through. When I was in high school, I used to date this guy, Corky Pasavak. He was in drama class, but he, but he was still real macho. Anyway, one time he asked me to go to the movies, and when we were walking down the aisle... [voice breaking] we ran into his old girlfriend. I don't even know why I'm telling this story; I mean, I'll just end up... [quavering] getting a lump in my throat, trailing off... [sobbing] and bursting into tears. [wails] Not this time, damn you, not this time! [exits]
Norm: Well, I think that was a new record.

Quote from Lilith

Lilith: Oh, it's my first husband.
Frasier: Now, cut that out.
Lilith: Where's my son? Where's Frederick? Did you sell him to the gypsies so you could spend more time with Nanny G Spot?
Frasier: It was perfectly innocent.
Lilith: Oh, Frasier, let's just not talk about it. You say it was a youthful indiscretion, I'll take you at your word. I can do that because I'm secure within myself. I've also had a wee bit of Dewar's.

Quote from Frasier

Lilith: Frasier, you're missing the whole point of this concert. The show for us is not on the stage. It's in the delighted eyes of your child.
Frasier: Oh, right, delighted eyes, shiny face, yada yada yada. Well, let's go see Nanny G.
Sam: Come on.
Woody: Nanny G? I saw her Itsy Bitsy World concert and fell in love. Her in a peasant blouse... boing!
Frasier: I just don't understand why people don't expose their children to good music anymore. When I was a lad, my parents took me to see Peter and The Wolf, The Nutcracker Suite, Swan Lake, not [sings] Tickle your tummy Life is kind of yummy.
Lilith: See, it's catchy, isn't it?
Frasier: Well, sure, when I do it, but I can sing the phone book.

Quote from Frasier

Nanny G: [sings] Tickle your tummy, life is kind of yummy When you're feeling crummy, just look up and laugh a lot Ha-ha-ha-ha
Frasier: I know I've seen her before. Where, where? I hate it when this happens.
Lilith: Frasier, please be quiet. I'm trying to hear the lyrics.
Nanny G: [sings] And nothing you can do will turn that
Frasier: Oh, my God, I know who she is. That's Nanette Guzman.
Sam: Who?
Frasier: My first wife.
Lilith: Who?
Frasier: Uh, I was just talking to Sam.
Lilith: And what were you saying to Sam?
Sam: Your first wife? Wow.
Frasier: Isn't that a kick?
Lilith: I thought I was your first wife.

Quote from Frasier

Nanny G: Daddies, you all stand up and clap with me. Okay?
Lilith: Frasier, sit down.
Frasier: I'm a daddy.
Lilith: What else have you lied to me about?
Frasier: Darling, I- I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't seem to find the right time. I guess I- I just loved you so much that you made me forget that there ever was another woman.
Lilith: Oh, serve it on toast.
Frasier: Lilith, Nanette and I were... We were just kids. I was first-year med school. It only lasted a few months. Well, I barely remember her. I remember her cat better, Bobo Black Paws. He used to love to sleep on my naked back. Oh, God, he used to purr like an airplane when we were... Shoot, I can't remember. It's all gone.

Quote from Lilith

Nanny G: I have a super idea. Frasier tells me you're having a birthday party for your little boy tomorrow. How about if I come by and sing for the kiddletinos?
Lilith: Oh, well, actually, it's not really going to be much of a party. It's just a small family gathering.
Norm: Oh, hey, if, uh, Nanny G's going to sing, you know Vera's nieces and nephews would love to come. It is free, isn't it?
Nanny G: Sure is.
Carla: Oh! My God, wait till the twins find out. I'll be their hero. I couldn't get tickets to the concert. Guess I should've tried. It's free, right?
Lilith: Actually, as much as I'd love to invite all of you and your little folk, the party's going to be in our own home, and, frankly, it's much too... Well, I just don't want you there.

Quote from Carla

Carla: [on the phone] This is sick. Just stop harassing me. You'll get your money when I'm good and ready. And if you try to contact me at the workplace one more time, I'm gonna turn you over to the authorities! [hangs up] Jerk.
Norm: Which one of your kids was that?
Carla: That was not one of my kids. I don't talk to my kids that way.
Cliff: Bill collector, then, huh?
Carla: No, it was my mother. Her Social Security check is late. Like it's my fault she's getting old.
Rebecca: Did you hear the way she talked to her mother? I could never talk to my mother like that. Hey, Carla, could you give my mom a call?

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: It's the Crane Family Circus.
Lilith: Let the mayhem ensue.
Sam: All right, you're here, let's go.
Frasier: All right, Sam, what is the big mystery? Where are you taking us?
Sam: Oh, I wanted to have it be a big surprise, but I can't keep it to myself any longer. Freddie, who would you like to see more than anyone else on your second birthday?
Lilith: Oh, Sam, you got tickets to the Nanny G concert the 1992 Tickle Tummy Tour.
Sam & Lilith: [sing] Tickle your tummy Life is kind of yummy When you're feeling crummy Just look up and laugh a lot.
Frasier: Somebody hand me a blunt instrument, please.
Carla: Here you go. Use it label-side-up so it doesn't crack.
Frasier: Thanks, you're a doll.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Look, you kids, uh, go to the concert without me.
Lilith: Frasier, this is Frederick's first concert.
Frasier: Yes, and this is my bugging out of Frederick's first concert. I intend to do this all through his childhood and teenage years. Then, finally, when he's in his mid-20s and he comes to me and says, "Father, let's go hear Bobby Short at the Carlyle," I'll turn and say, "Son, now you're talking."

Quote from Lilith

Nanny G: Thanks so much. You know what? My favorite thing in the whole big, wide world is making new friends.
Lilith: Oh, I'll bet.
Nanny G: [sings] When you meet someone Who might become a friend to you
Lilith: So, Frasier, have you been married to any other well- known performers? If, for instance, we should take Frederick to the circus next month, should I feel threatened by Jojo The Dog-Faced Girl?

Quote from Frasier

Nanny G: [sings] I want to Shake your hand
Frasier: Lilith, you have got to get a handle on this thing. The marriage was a silly mistake. We rectified it. We went on with our lives, we've never spoken since. If we ran into each other on the street, she wouldn't know me from Adam.
Nanny G: [sings] I want to shake your hand, shake your hand You and I... [drops microphone] Oh, my God. [kisses Frasier]
Sam: Don't you want to shake my hand?

Quote from Woody

Woody: She shook everyone's hand. She even kissed some guy in the fourth row. They don't shake your hand in row YY in the second balcony. Oh no. They'll happily charge you $28.50 a pop, but that don't buy no handshake in double Y.

Quote from Norm

Frasier: Where is Lilith?
Carla: She's in the ladies' room. Hey, Fras, heard you used to be married to a children's singer. What's the matter? Burl Ives turn you down?
Frasier: Look, am, am I the only one who was ever married before? It's history, it was a long time ago. So I didn't tell her. So what?
Norm: Yes, Frasier, but why didn't you tell her? Hmm? Marriage is built on trust, you know. You ever told her how you really feel inside? Have you ever shared with her? Have you ever cried with her?
Frasier: You're right, Norm. I should have told her about it. I'll never forgive myself.
Cliff: That was beautiful, Normie. Where'd you get it?
Norm: Last week's Matlock. I don't know what he got the guy off for, but that was his summation.

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