Cliff: Pretty good eats, huh, Norm?
Norm: Not bad for a two-year-old. l, myself, have been enjoying these teeny little tuna fish sandwiches shaped like tiny little dinosaurs.
Cliff: Yeah, quite ironic actually, uh, seeing as how tuna, known in Latin as Pisces middayicus roughly translated as "lunch fish" was, uh, was not a contemporary of the, uh, prehistoric reptilian land wanderers.

Rebecca: Oh, I know what Lilith's going through. When I was in high school, I used to date this guy, Corky Pasavak. He was in drama class, but he, but he was still real macho. Anyway, one time he asked me to go to the movies, and when we were walking down the aisle... [voice breaking] we ran into his old girlfriend. I don't even know why I'm telling this story; I mean, I'll just end up... [quavering] getting a lump in my throat, trailing off... [sobbing] and bursting into tears. [wails] Not this time, damn you, not this time! [exits]
Norm: Well, I think that was a new record.

Lilith: Oh, it's my first husband.
Frasier: Now, cut that out.
Lilith: Where's my son? Where's Frederick? Did you sell him to the gypsies so you could spend more time with Nanny G Spot?
Frasier: It was perfectly innocent.
Lilith: Oh, Frasier, let's just not talk about it. You say it was a youthful indiscretion, I'll take you at your word. I can do that because I'm secure within myself. I've also had a wee bit of Dewar's.

Lilith: Frasier, you're missing the whole point of this concert. The show for us is not on the stage. It's in the delighted eyes of your child.
Frasier: Oh, right, delighted eyes, shiny face, yada yada yada. Well, let's go see Nanny G.
Sam: Come on.
Woody: Nanny G? I saw her Itsy Bitsy World concert and fell in love. Her in a peasant blouse... boing!
Frasier: I just don't understand why people don't expose their children to good music anymore. When I was a lad, my parents took me to see Peter and The Wolf, The Nutcracker Suite, Swan Lake, not [sings] Tickle your tummy Life is kind of yummy.
Lilith: See, it's catchy, isn't it?
Frasier: Well, sure, when I do it, but I can sing the phone book.

Nanny G: [sings] Tickle your tummy, life is kind of yummy When you're feeling crummy, just look up and laugh a lot Ha-ha-ha-ha
Frasier: I know I've seen her before. Where, where? I hate it when this happens.
Lilith: Frasier, please be quiet. I'm trying to hear the lyrics.
Nanny G: [sings] And nothing you can do will turn that
Frasier: Oh, my God, I know who she is. That's Nanette Guzman.
Sam: Who?
Frasier: My first wife.
Lilith: Who?
Frasier: Uh, I was just talking to Sam.
Lilith: And what were you saying to Sam?
Sam: Your first wife? Wow.
Frasier: Isn't that a kick?
Lilith: I thought I was your first wife.

Nanny G: Daddies, you all stand up and clap with me. Okay?
Lilith: Frasier, sit down.
Frasier: I'm a daddy.
Lilith: What else have you lied to me about?
Frasier: Darling, I- I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just couldn't seem to find the right time. I guess I- I just loved you so much that you made me forget that there ever was another woman.
Lilith: Oh, serve it on toast.
Frasier: Lilith, Nanette and I were... We were just kids. I was first-year med school. It only lasted a few months. Well, I barely remember her. I remember her cat better, Bobo Black Paws. He used to love to sleep on my naked back. Oh, God, he used to purr like an airplane when we were... Shoot, I can't remember. It's all gone.

Nanny G: I have a super idea. Frasier tells me you're having a birthday party for your little boy tomorrow. How about if I come by and sing for the kiddletinos?
Lilith: Oh, well, actually, it's not really going to be much of a party. It's just a small family gathering.
Norm: Oh, hey, if, uh, Nanny G's going to sing, you know Vera's nieces and nephews would love to come. It is free, isn't it?
Nanny G: Sure is.
Carla: Oh! My God, wait till the twins find out. I'll be their hero. I couldn't get tickets to the concert. Guess I should've tried. It's free, right?
Lilith: Actually, as much as I'd love to invite all of you and your little folk, the party's going to be in our own home, and, frankly, it's much too... Well, I just don't want you there.

Norm: Frasier, where's the Nanster?
Frasier: Oh, she'll be here. You can always count on Nanette. You know, l, I can't get over her becoming such a big star! Although she always had a gorgeous voice. Personality... God, she'd light up a room when she entered it.
Lilith: Really?
Frasier: I wasn't making a direct comparison, dear. It's... You and, you and Nanette are apples and oranges. But you are by far the finer of the two produce.
Lilith: And which one would that be?
Frasier: Uh... app-ranges. Look, allow me to preempt any further discussion by simply saying that you are the love of my life. And nobody, nobody could ever pry my eyes from your beautiful face. [Nanny G enters] She's here! She's here!

Carla: [on the phone] This is sick. Just stop harassing me. You'll get your money when I'm good and ready. And if you try to contact me at the workplace one more time, I'm gonna turn you over to the authorities! [hangs up] Jerk.
Norm: Which one of your kids was that?
Carla: That was not one of my kids. I don't talk to my kids that way.
Cliff: Bill collector, then, huh?
Carla: No, it was my mother. Her Social Security check is late. Like it's my fault she's getting old.
Rebecca: Did you hear the way she talked to her mother? I could never talk to my mother like that. Hey, Carla, could you give my mom a call?

Frasier: It's the Crane Family Circus.
Lilith: Let the mayhem ensue.
Sam: All right, you're here, let's go.
Frasier: All right, Sam, what is the big mystery? Where are you taking us?
Sam: Oh, I wanted to have it be a big surprise, but I can't keep it to myself any longer. Freddie, who would you like to see more than anyone else on your second birthday?
Lilith: Oh, Sam, you got tickets to the Nanny G concert the 1992 Tickle Tummy Tour.
Sam & Lilith: [sing] Tickle your tummy Life is kind of yummy When you're feeling crummy Just look up and laugh a lot.
Frasier: Somebody hand me a blunt instrument, please.
Carla: Here you go. Use it label-side-up so it doesn't crack.
Frasier: Thanks, you're a doll.