Previous Episode Next Episode 
Sam Ahoy

‘Sam Ahoy’

Season 8, Episode 12 -  Aired December 14, 1989

As Sam tries to raise the money to buy back Cheers, he gets the opportunity to race Robin Colcord's boat in the regatta.

Quote from Sam

Woody: Were you scared, Sam?
Sam: Are you kidding? I saw my hair pass before my eyes. It was unbelievable. I've never seen anything like it.


Quote from Norm

Sam: Well, guys, that's another half-hour that we wouldn't have had if we hadn't have gotten off that boat.
Norm: I tell you, a brush with death like that really changes you. From now on, I'm really going to appreciate beer.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Miss Howe, can I have tomorrow off?
Rebecca: Woody, I pay you for 40 hours a week. I expect 40 hours work. Besides, I need you to take me to go get my car once it's finished being detailed.
Woody: What time will that be?
Rebecca: Right after my beauty shop appointment. I'm getting cellophane highlights put in my hair, then I'm gonna have a manicure and a pedicure.
Woody: A pedicure?
Rebecca: Yeah. I have a date with Robin tonight and I might want to play footsie.
Woody: All right, I can drive you.
Rebecca: Good.
Woody: But after that, if there's time, could I take off?
Rebecca: Good, Woody, what is so all-fired important about your stupid life?
Woody: Well, I cook and deliver meals to elderly shut-ins.
Rebecca: Oh.
Woody: You know, I normally do it on my day off, but this week on my day off I'm doing a walk-a-thon for illiteracy. We're against it.
Rebecca: Well, then that would be all right.
Woody: Oh, Miss Howe. Wait. I'm recycling glass bottles. I want this world to be clean for our children. I mean, my children. Or your children. Or our children. Seeing as how you've got a date with someone else tonight, it seems like a long shot.
Rebecca: Woody, you're so good, and I'm so bad. I feel guilty and ashamed. I feel like killing myself.
Woody: Oh, I also volunteer for a suicide hotline. [hands Rebecca a card] We do good things.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Well... The notion of investing is sound. In fact, I have $500 here in my pocket that Lilith has entrusted me to invest in a gilt-edged bond for little Frederick's future.
Carla: So Lilith controls the purse strings in your family?
Frasier: Oh, yes, with the eagle eye. It's a good thing, too. I mean, you know me, left to my own devices, wastrel that I am, I might blow 2 bucks a week on a lousy beer.
Norm: Well, investing sounds good on paper, but the problem is with inflation, you know, when those bonds mature, that money will be worthless. So little Freddy will lose money on the deal.
Frasier: Oh, well, screw him. It'll teach him life is real.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Oh, well, enough of this assassination folderol. Do you want to hear something really exciting? Robin took me to the harbor today to see his new sailboat, and as coincidence would have it, it is called... The Rebecca.
Woody: You named your boat after Miss Howe?
Robin: No, I christened her long before I met Miss Howe. In fact, I named her for the biblical Rebecca.
Rebecca: But that's not all. I had an aunt who was named after the biblical Rebecca, and I'm named after her. And that isn't the end of it. She was big as a boat and old as the Bible.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Ah, yes, Rebecca. Wasn't that the maiden King David spied taking a bath in her birthday suit?
Norm: No, I think that was Bathsheba. I think Rebecca is the one who turned into a pillar of salt.
Cliff: No, that was Lot's wife. She didn't have a name of her own.
Woody: What did Lot do with her after she turned into salt?
Norm: Kept her by the pretzels, I bet.
Woody: Did they have pretzels in biblical times?
Norm: Yeah. I think I just had one, too.

Quote from Carla

Sam: So, where's the boat now?
Robin: Oh, we just got Rebecca out of dry dock, scraping the barnacles off her bottom.
Rebecca: Not one word.
Carla: You know, this is a bar. I'm free to say whatever I want.
Rebecca: I'll give you $5.00.
Carla: Mum's the word.
Robin: Yes, I'm preparing to sail her in the Cape Cod Regatta this afternoon.
Norm: Ah, fast boat, huh?
Robin: Yes. You won't find one faster than Rebecca.
Carla: Ahem! [Rebecca hands over more money]

Quote from Carla

Robin: Drat. There goes the race. I spent all that time cleaning Rebecca up, and I can't get her out of her slip.
Carla: That's worth $10 if it's worth a nickel.

Quote from Robin Colcord

Cliff: You know, it's too bad you can't enter that race. I hear in the paper the first prize is $10,000.
Sam: It's up to $10,000?
Cliff: Yeah.
Robin: Gentlemen, in the time it takes me to say $10,000, I make $10,000. Oh, there I go again.
Sam: Look. $10,000.
Robin: Yes, it also works if you say it.

Quote from Sam

Robin: Well, I'd better make some calls and rattle some cages before I go off to the mines. Rebecca, is the phone in your office tapped?
Rebecca: No.
Sam: Nothing she has has been tapped for three years.

Page 2