Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm.
Sam: How's life treating you?
Norm: It's not, Sammy, but that doesn't mean you can't.

Sam: Uh, well, it seems that the love of your life there thinks that because he's never seen you date anybody that maybe you... Well, prefer ladies.
Rebecca: You- You set him straight, didn't you?
Sam: Based on what?
Rebecca: God, I- I can't believe this. He's all I ever think about, and now he thinks that I'm...
Sam: Yeah, yeah, it's a nutty world, isn't it? You know something, though, I'll bet you could change his mind real quick if you were to show up at his party just crawling all over this incredibly good-looking, hot, macho stud.
Rebecca: You for instance?
Sam: You recognized the description.

Sam: Don't blame me. I told you to talk to the guy, not inhale his gum.
Rebecca: I couldn't help myself.
Sam: Yeah, well, at least you know how he feels now. He's not interested.
Rebecca: Who wanted to know that?
Sam: You did. You were miserable not knowing.
Rebecca: I was happy being miserable. Now you've ruined it.

Carla: Where you been?
Rebecca: I had to change a flat.
Carla: Mr. Drake's here.
Rebecca: Carla, don't even think of joking about that. Hello, Mr. Drake. [squeals] Oh, my God. I didn't know you'd be here. I look messy. Close your eyes. Not you, Woody. [exits]
Evan Drake: An attractive woman. A little jumpy, though.
Sam: Yeah, but she makes it work somehow, doesn't she?

Rebecca: Look, Sam, just because I put my work before my social life, does not mean I don't have boyfriends. I have boyfriends. I could pick up that phone and have a dozen dates for Friday night.
Sam: Yeah, but could you get one as great looking as I am?
Rebecca: Blindfolded, gagged and with both hands tied behind my back. [everyone stares] We were just talking about a party Friday night.
Carla: Sammy, where is it, and what time should I be there?

Sam: Sweetheart, can you help me with my cufflinks?
Rebecca: Sam, you are not going with me. No way.
Sam: An escort service? You couldn't get a date from an escort service?
Rebecca: I am not going with you. There are a lot of people that hang out here that I'd rather be seen with.
[Norm and Cliff have lemons wedged in their mouths]
Rebecca: Dr. Crane would probably enjoy a stylish evening with refined company.
Frasier: [enters with a bag over his head] I'm cured. I think I'm cured. I think I'm cured!
Sam: Just remember now, I don't go all the way on the first date.

Sam: You know, I gotta tell you, I'm a little bit confused here.
Rebecca: The red sauce is for the shrimp, and the mustard's for the egg roll.
Sam: That's not what I meant. But thanks. No, I was just wondering why haven't you made a play for this guy? I mean, how long have you been carrying a torch?
Rebecca: It's not a torch. What a silly expression. I am not carrying a torch.
Sam: All right.
Rebecca: Two years.
Sam: Two years? You haven't dated? You haven't done anything with anybody for two years? My God, what happens to a person's body? You haven't given him a clue? You didn't how you feel or anything? [Rebecca shakes her head] Oh, sweetheart. You got to tell him tonight before you explode or something.

Rebecca: What am I going to do?
Sam: Well, just wait. Uh... Well, all right, I'll- l'll go out there and I'll tell him, uh, that you were bombed and that it didn't mean anything.
Rebecca: Terrific. Wonderful image. A girl goes to a party and gets hammered, then turns promiscuous.
Sam: Well, all right, all right, uh I'll- l'll tell him that, uh, that you were trying to make me jealous 'cause you're crazy in love with me. That's...
Rebecca: Let me see. My choices are I'm a boozy slut or a complete idiot.
Sam: I'd go with the idiot.
Rebecca: I already did.

Woody: [to Evan Drake] So, that's how we knew, beyond a doubt, that we were putting way, way too much bran in the pig's fodder.

Evan Drake: How much do I owe you for that, bartender?
Woody: Oh, no charge, Mr. Drake. I mean, after all, you kind of own the place.
Evan Drake: Oh, no, no, no, no, I'll pay for it. Credit card okay?
Woody: Sure.
Evan Drake: All right.
Woody: I'll need to see a driver's license.