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‘A Kiss Is Still a Kiss’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: A Kiss Is Still a Kiss

610. A Kiss Is Still a Kiss

Aired December 3, 1987

Sam encourages Rebecca to reveal her feelings to her boss, Evan Drake (Tom Skerritt).

Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm.
Sam: How's life treating you?
Norm: It's not, Sammy, but that doesn't mean you can't.

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Quote from Sam

Sam: Uh, well, it seems that the love of your life there thinks that because he's never seen you date anybody that maybe you... Well, prefer ladies.
Rebecca: You- You set him straight, didn't you?
Sam: Based on what?
Rebecca: God, I- I can't believe this. He's all I ever think about, and now he thinks that I'm...
Sam: Yeah, yeah, it's a nutty world, isn't it? You know something, though, I'll bet you could change his mind real quick if you were to show up at his party just crawling all over this incredibly good-looking, hot, macho stud.
Rebecca: You for instance?
Sam: You recognized the description.

Quote from Rebecca

Sam: Don't blame me. I told you to talk to the guy, not inhale his gum.
Rebecca: I couldn't help myself.
Sam: Yeah, well, at least you know how he feels now. He's not interested.
Rebecca: Who wanted to know that?
Sam: You did. You were miserable not knowing.
Rebecca: I was happy being miserable. Now you've ruined it.

Quote from Sam

Woody: Oh, boy, I need change for this 50.
Harry: You need change. Maybe I can help you, huh?
Woody: Great.
Cliff: Hold it, hold it.
Harry: Oh, come on, guys. Give me a break. I'm a reformed man.
Norm: Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you wouldn't mind if we monitored this little transaction.
Cliff: Yeah.
Harry: Wouldn't mind at all. Okay, you got 50 bucks. Here's one, two, three, four, five. Norm, what time is it?
Norm: 11:00.
Harry: 11, hmm? 12, 13, 14. Gee, my watch must be fast. I got, uh, 11:25. 26, 27, 28. Cliff, you have not aged a day. How old are you?
Cliff: Oh 39.
Harry: 39. 40, 41, forty... Wait. You can't be that old. When were you born?
Cliff: '47.
Harry: 48, 49, 50. There you go, barkeep.
Woody: Thank you.
Harry: Good to see you, guys.
Norm: Yeah.
Harry: Hey, Sam, long time no see.
Sam: What was Harry the Hat doing here?
Woody: He just came in for a beer.
Sam: Oh.
Woody: And some change.
Sam: Oh... [runs after Harry]

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Oh, hey, Normie? Listen, that was great meat loaf last night, huh?
Norm: It was, wasn't it? You know, uh, Cliff, I've been meaning to talk to you.
Cliff: Hmm?
Norm: I don't mind you staying with us for a little while till you get your new place, but, uh, it's beginning to be a little bit of a problem for Vera. The dishes, the bed, the way you leave the bathroom in the morning. [laughs] You got to start leaving something for her to do, pal. I mean, she wants to spend time with me.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Booze, Woody, and quickly.
Woody: What's the matter, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Oh, I'm devastated. I need something expeditious and brutal to numb my sensibilities and blast me into sweet oblivion.
Woody: How about a boilermaker?
Frasier: Make it a mimosa.

Quote from Frasier

Sam: What's got you so upset?
Frasier: Some college professor has just published an article that refutes everything I said in my last paper.
Cliff: Sounds like a shoot-out at the cuckoo corral.
Frasier: What could motivate an honored and distinguished colleague to launch a personal attack like this?
Sam: Well, now, maybe it's just a, you know, honest difference of opinion between scholars.
Frasier: Oh, goose poop, Sam, the man's a yahoo.

Quote from Sam

Evan Drake: Sam Malone. Evan Drake.
Sam: How do you do?
Evan Drake: I've been looking forward to meeting you. I was a big fan of yours.
Sam: Oh. Any fan of mine is certainly welcome here, especially one who could fire me like a shot. What can I get you?
Evan Drake: You got some 20-year-old Scotch?
Sam: Uh, no, but we got some pretzels that have been around for a while here. [laughs] How about a Dewar's, huh?
Evan Drake: That'll do it.
Sam: So, Mr. Drake, things are going pretty good at the old bar.
Evan Drake: Well, I'm glad to hear that. We sank a lot of bucks into it.
Sam: Oh, boy, don't talk to me about sinking, man. I lost my boat and...
Evan Drake: Yeah, I heard.

Quote from Woody

Norm: Can you settle an argument here? How much you figure a guy like that pays for his socks?
Frasier: Well, I've seen those at Barney's. They're about 75 a pair.
Woody: [chuckles] Even I pay a dollar for mine.

Quote from Sam

Sam: The next thing I know, there's a guys standing next to me... So there I am in the locker room signing the game ball for this guy, buck naked. I tell you, I'll never forget his name, because it was so unusual. Ueberroth.
Evan Drake: Peter Ueberroth, the Baseball Commissioner?
Sam: Uh, that's where the story kind of falls apart. I'll be right back.

Quote from Rebecca

Carla: Where you been?
Rebecca: I had to change a flat.
Carla: Mr. Drake's here.
Rebecca: Carla, don't even think of joking about that. Hello, Mr. Drake. [squeals] Oh, my God. I didn't know you'd be here. I look messy. Close your eyes. Not you, Woody. [exits]
Evan Drake: An attractive woman. A little jumpy, though.
Sam: Yeah, but she makes it work somehow, doesn't she?

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Look, Sam, just because I put my work before my social life, does not mean I don't have boyfriends. I have boyfriends. I could pick up that phone and have a dozen dates for Friday night.
Sam: Yeah, but could you get one as great looking as I am?
Rebecca: Blindfolded, gagged and with both hands tied behind my back. [everyone stares] We were just talking about a party Friday night.
Carla: Sammy, where is it, and what time should I be there?

Quote from Sam

Sam: Sweetheart, can you help me with my cufflinks?
Rebecca: Sam, you are not going with me. No way.
Sam: An escort service? You couldn't get a date from an escort service?
Rebecca: I am not going with you. There are a lot of people that hang out here that I'd rather be seen with.
[Norm and Cliff have lemons wedged in their mouths]
Rebecca: Dr. Crane would probably enjoy a stylish evening with refined company.
Frasier: [enters with a bag over his head] I'm cured. I think I'm cured. I think I'm cured!
Sam: Just remember now, I don't go all the way on the first date.

Quote from Rebecca

Sam: You know, I gotta tell you, I'm a little bit confused here.
Rebecca: The red sauce is for the shrimp, and the mustard's for the egg roll.
Sam: That's not what I meant. But thanks. No, I was just wondering why haven't you made a play for this guy? I mean, how long have you been carrying a torch?
Rebecca: It's not a torch. What a silly expression. I am not carrying a torch.
Sam: All right.
Rebecca: Two years.
Sam: Two years? You haven't dated? You haven't done anything with anybody for two years? My God, what happens to a person's body? You haven't given him a clue? You didn't how you feel or anything? [Rebecca shakes her head] Oh, sweetheart. You got to tell him tonight before you explode or something.

Quote from Woody

Rebecca: I'm probably gonna lose my job.
Sam: Oh, right. Sure. He's gonna come over here and fire you because of one lousy kiss. Talk about paranoid.
Woody: [knocking] Miss Howe. Mr. Drake's here to see you.
Sam: Talk about coincidence.
Rebecca: I'm dead.
Sam: No, you're not. Now, I'll take care of this. Uh, Woody, can you stall for a minute there?
Woody: Sure. You know, in high school, I entered the 4-H Club...
Sam: Not us, Woody. Him, him. Not us, him. Out there, boy. Come on. Okay?
Woody: Sure, Sam. Would it have killed you to be a little more specific?

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: What am I going to do?
Sam: Well, just wait. Uh... Well, all right, I'll- l'll go out there and I'll tell him, uh, that you were bombed and that it didn't mean anything.
Rebecca: Terrific. Wonderful image. A girl goes to a party and gets hammered, then turns promiscuous.
Sam: Well, all right, all right, uh I'll- l'll tell him that, uh, that you were trying to make me jealous 'cause you're crazy in love with me. That's...
Rebecca: Let me see. My choices are I'm a boozy slut or a complete idiot.
Sam: I'd go with the idiot.
Rebecca: I already did.

Quote from Woody

Woody: [to Evan Drake] So, that's how we knew, beyond a doubt, that we were putting way, way too much bran in the pig's fodder.

Quote from Woody

Evan Drake: How much do I owe you for that, bartender?
Woody: Oh, no charge, Mr. Drake. I mean, after all, you kind of own the place.
Evan Drake: Oh, no, no, no, no, I'll pay for it. Credit card okay?
Woody: Sure.
Evan Drake: All right.
Woody: I'll need to see a driver's license.

Quote from Norm

Harry: Barkeep, pour me a beer.
Cliff: Uh-oh, Normie. Flimflam alert.
Norm: Uh-uh.
Harry: Hey, guys, how you doing?
Norm: Pretty good, Harry. Good to see you. It's been a long time. How long's it been?
Harry: Well, two to ten, with time off for good behavior.

Quote from Sam

Carla: You want to see what makes Rebecca's loins ache?
Sam: Sure.
Carla: Well, he just walked in. It's the great and powerful Evan Drake.
Evan Drake: See to my table upstairs.
Assistant #1: Uh, yes, sir.
Sam: She's skipping the thrill ride that's Sammy Land for that?
Evan Drake: While I think of it, take care of that telex to Paris.
Assistant #1: First thing tomorrow.
Evan Drake: Now.
Assistant #1: Uh, yes, sir. [exits]
Sam: What's she see in him?
Carla: Money, power, prestige.
Sam: Yeah, but I'm several inches taller than him.

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