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‘Sam Time Next Year’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Sam Time Next Year

919. Sam Time Next Year

Aired February 14, 1991

Sam is excited for his once-a-year Valentine's Day hook-up with Lauren (Barbara Feldon), until he injures himself ahead of the trip. Meanwhile, Frasier and Lilith bring their male and female therapy groups together in the bar.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Well, I still say it's a stupid way to spend Valentine's Day.
Sam: Yeah, but that's 'cause you don't have a date.
Rebecca: Oh, yeah? I happen to have a date with two very sweet gentlemen: Ben and Jerry.

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Quote from Sam

Lauren: I've had 20-20 vision all my life. Now when I go to a restaurant, I have to have someone at the next table hold the menu so I can read it. [both chuckle]
Sam: No, you know what the worst thing about old age is? It's when you get so old that the skin under your arms starts getting loose and hanging like turkey wattle.
Lauren: I thought that only happened to women.
Sam: Yeah, that's what I meant. I just, you know, I hate to see it, that's all.
Lauren: Has your doctor put you on a bran diet?
Sam: Oh, yeah, God Oh, I tell you-- Oh, thank you. Oh! Last year was the worst. You know, I went in for this stomach problem. Turned out I had a stone the size of a golf ball. Took me a month to pass it.
Lauren: Sam, has your hair started turning gray?
Sam: Hey, hey. You're getting a little personal there. Aren't you?
Lauren: Sam, look, it's getting light out. We've been talking all night.
Sam: Oh, hey, how about that? Wow! You know, that's that's a first. Kind of nice to know that we have something in common besides our bodies.
Lauren: Oh, yeah, we have the deterioration of our bodies.

Quote from Carla

Lilith: Ah, Frasier. Here you are. And where are the dysfunctional men?
Carla: Throw a rock.

Quote from Sam

Norm: It's Mike Dukakis.
Sam: Yeah.
Norm: It's Michael Dukakis.
Sam: Let's go say hello to him.
Norm: We can't.
Sam: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! What'll we call him? What'll we call him?
Norm: Uh, Governor.
Sam: Ex. Ex-governor.
Norm: Ooh, yeah. Your Honor. There you go.
Sam: You- Your Ex Honor.
Norm: No, no, no, no, no.
Sam: Yeah.
Norm: Mike.
Sam: Michael.
Norm: No, Duke! Duke, Duke, Duke! Duke! Duke! Duke!
Michael Dukakis: Hi. How're you doing?
Sam: Hi.
Norm: Hi. [both laughing]
Sam: We said hello to Michael Dukakis!
Norm: No, no, we said hi to Mike!
Sam: Michael.
Norm: No, no. Duke. Duke. Duke. Duke.
Sam: We said hello to Duke.

Quote from Norm

Rebecca: Oh, yeah. That's that stupid date he goes on once a year with that - what is that - Lauren person.
Norm: Stupid? This is not some stupid date, Rebecca. For the last 20 years, Sammy and Lauren have met for one night each year. It's kind of like Sammy's version of commitment. Actually, it's a lot like my version of commitment.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Hey, you know, it's just a made-up holiday anyway. You know, some big fat greeting card tycoon trying to get rich off of dopey cards and candy hearts. Don't be depressed about that.
Rebecca: Yeah, maybe you're right.
Carla: If you're gonna be depressed about anything, it should be the fact that you're only making seven bucks an hour, your skin is starting to flake at the hairline, and you're a year closer to death.
Rebecca: Thank you, Carla.
Carla: But, hey, if it makes you feel any better, Happy Valentine's Day!

Quote from Norm

Carla: Whoa! Man, those stairs are slippery. Woody, I think we could use a little salt out there.
Norm: These pretzels could use a little salt, too. My blood pressure's actually dipping.

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Boy, those patients of mine are really hopeless.
Norm: Well, heck, bring them out here. This is the hopeless room.
Woody: Yeah, I don't know, Dr. Crane. Haven't you ever thought that it's kind of tough on them, doing all that counseling stuff? I mean, I was raised to believe that if you have a problem, you lock it away in a secret place. You keep it bottled up good and tight. And if it gets full in there, you just keep forcing the pain down and clamping it in.
Frasier: Good advice, Woody. [to Norm] Tick, tick, tick.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Let me see. I don't believe there's a fracture, just a serious sprain right around lumbar three. Does it hurt when I do this? [Sam groans] That's good. That's good.
Sam: Ooh. Why? Does that mean I'm gonna get better?
Frasier: No. Because it means I know what I'm talking about. You see, Lilith, I could so have been a real doctor.

Quote from Woody

Woody: All right, Sam. I'm gonna drive you up there, and I don't want you to worry about a thing. I'm a very good driver.
Sam: Great. Great. Just go, please.
Woody: Ding, ding, ding.
Sam: What are you doing?
Woody: "The captain is requesting that all passengers please fasten their safety belts."

Quote from Woody

Woody: Here we go. [engine starts] Ignition, lights, parking brake, mirror, signal. [turn signal clicking] Blind spot. Vermont, here we come. [brakes squeal] Lord have mercy!
Sam: What? What happened? Aah!
Woody: Well, I didn't think that pigeon was gonna fly away in time. Why do they always wait till the last minute? What, do they think that's funny or something?
Sam: Aw, I don't know, Woody All right.
Woody: All right, Sam, hang on. We're gonna pull out again. Mirror, signal, blind spot. [turn signal clicking] There. "Exit 19. Concord Street." "Exit 20." "Route 125."
Sam: Woody.
Woody: Hang on, Sam. "93 North."
Sam: Oh, no, please, don't read all the road signs.
Woody: Oh, fine, Sam. Would you like me to ignore the speed limit, too?
Sam: I wouldn't mind if you approached it.
Woody: Meow, Sam.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Sam, I hear some rattling. Is your door closed all the way?
Sam: No, it's not. Here, I'll get it.
Woody: No, no, hang on. l- l'm gonna pull over as soon as I make this turn. [Sam sighs] No, don't undo your seat belt!
Sam: Give me a break. Will you lighten up? Whoa! [thudding]
Woody: Now would that have happened if you'd been wearing your safety belt?

Quote from Frasier

Man: I don't think I want to do this, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Oh, all right! And what would you suggest that we do? Stare at one another? Lord knows you've all had enough practice at that!
Lilith: You're pressuring them, Doctor.
Frasier: Oh, you're right, darling. Uh... You know, perhaps we should try a different approach. You know, there is a technique pioneered in the early 60's, which is thought to be without peer in producing the social effect that we seek. I'm referring, of course, to Twister!
Lilith: Left foot blue.

Quote from Woody

Sam: You got to get out of here. If she sees you, she's gonna think something's wrong. It'll ruin the mood. Just quick, get out the window. Go on!
Woody: Oh, sure. "Quick, out the window." Not exactly the undying thanks and gratitude I might expect after driving 200 miles through the snow.
Sam: Would you just shut up and move your butt?
Woody: Oh, that's much better, Sam. That'll keep me warm on the drive home.
[After Woody climbs out a small window, he returns through a door right next to the window]
Woody: Sam, there's a door here. Why'd I go out the window?
Sam: Would you get out of here?!
[Woody comes inside and once again climbs out the window]

Quote from Sam

Lauren: You don't want to dance, do you, Sam?
Sam: No, you know, the truth is, I really don't.
Lauren: Sam, what's going on?
Sam: What do you mean?
Lauren: Never mind. I think I know. [music stops] I mean, it's obvious. I'm not exactly as young as I used to be and, um...
Sam: Oh, sweetheart, wait a minute. Wait, is that what you think?
Lauren: Well, it's okay. You can level with me. I've gotten too old for you.
Sam: Oh, no. Listen, age has nothing to do with it. You- Yyou are still as young and sexy as that first day and night and next morning that we met.
Lauren: Really, Sam? Then why are you acting so standoffish?
Sam: Yeah oh, honey, I've got to level with you here. Sweetie, I fell down the steps today. I threw my back out. I can barely move.
Lauren: Oh. Well, I'm not surprised, a man your age.

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