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The Magnificent Six

‘The Magnificent Six’

Season 11, Episode 4 -  Aired October 22, 1992

When Henri takes a temporary job at Cheers, he challenges Sam to see who can get he most phone numbers from women. Meanwhile, Sam sends Rebecca to a doctor to try quit smoking.

Quote from Cliff

Norm: Hey, Cliffie. What you doing?
Cliff: Uh, writing a letter of application for the Eco pod.
Norm: What the heck's the Eco pod?
Cliff: It's a totally self-contained environment located in a mile-wide bubble underneath the desert floor. Yeah. It's gonna be inhabited by the best and the brightest of the, uh, human species, so I- I thought I'd apply.
Carla: They're gonna have a zoo in there, too?
Cliff: Yeah. Yeah, very funny, Carla. You'll be laughing out of the other side of your face when they make me Postmaster General of the Eco pod.
Frasier: Actually, the Eco pod does have some scientific merit. It was designed by a colleague of Lilith's, Dr. Louis Pascal. It will serve as a prototype for the colonization of space. Plus which, the grant money is incredible. I hear Pascal's driving a Lexus.
Cliff: Boy, I sure hope I get a shot at being sealed up in that thing.
Carla: Say, would a petition help?
Cliff: It might.
Alan: Hey, I'll sign that.
Carla: No! I'm first!
Norm: Okay.
Cliff: Boy. [weepy] You guys are the best friends a fellow ever had.

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Quote from Norm

Norm: Well, Henri, let me be your first customer, okay? I would like a beer, please, and put it on my tab.
Henri: Aren't you supposed to pay when served?
Norm: Well, as long as we're bringing up the matter of debt, Frenchie, let me bring up a couple little things called World War I and World War ll, okay? Now, why don't we subtract the cost of my puny little beer from the enormous debt that you owe us?
Henri: Okay, okay.
Cliff: Hey, uh, you came down pretty hard on him, didn't you, Norm?
Norm: Damn it, Cliffie. My dad was almost in the army.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Normie, now that Sammy's dead, you realize we're gonna have to live vicariously through Henri?
Norm: No, Cliffie. Just say we stopped living vicariously through others, huh? What do you say we get off our duffs for once, and live ourselves, so that some other poor slubs can live vicariously through us? Huh? What do you say we... [laughs] Oh, shoot! Damn, I nearly got through it, too!
Cliff: You were good.
Norm: Yeah.
Cliff: I thought you were gonna do it!

Quote from Cliff

Henri: I got another one, Sam!
Sam: Hey! Hey! The whole issue is closed, Henri. I'm not taking the bet.
Henri: Oh, very well, I give up. I won't bother you again. After all, what can I expect from an American? You are all fat, lazy, stupid. All you want to do is watch TV, eat fast food while your easy women are scooped up by handsome foreigners like myself.
Cliff: That tears it! You've just drawn blood on the US of A, pal!
Norm: Cliff, calm down.
Cliff: Calm down, nothing! Sammy might be missing in action, but on behalf of this great nation, I'm gonna go out there and collect more telephone numbers than that sleazy Frenchman! What about it, men? Are you with me?
Tim: You know, I'm usually afraid of girls, but it's for America!
Phil: Me, too!
Cliff: Then let's go!

Quote from Frasier

Sam: Aw, shoot.
Carla: I guess Henri wins.
Henri: I win! I win! France has won! France has won!
Frasier: There's something you never hear.

Quote from Frasier

Sam: Yeah, well, he can get all the numbers he wants. I'm not going to stoop to his level.
Frasier: Bravo, Sam. You handled that very well. It's good to see that you've evolved beyond the playboy mentality of bedding every woman you meet. Times have changed and you've wisely changed with them. I applaud that.
Sam: Oh, well, I appreciate that. Thanks. Thanks very much.
Frasier: [to the guys] Well, the king of babes is dead. What the hell are we supposed to do now?

Quote from Sam

Sam: Okay, Carla, I'm ready. Bring in the kit. [Carla struggles to carry a large tool box] Before you open this thing, I want you to know this is a one-shot deal, tonight only. In this box is the Sam Malone I used to be.
Carla: Sammy, if you've outgrown all this stuff, why do you keep it?
Sam: I thought maybe one day I'd have a son.
Carla: [gasps] Sam! Oh! Sam! The first edition of your little black book.
Sam: Yeah.
Carla: Oh! [gasps] Your Members Only jacket! Oh, Sammy, a picture of you and Elvis!
Sam: Yeah, yeah. The chicks really love that.
Carla: What kind of cologne is that?
Sam: It's a special blend; Old Spice, Hai Karate and something that takes spots out. I'm not really sure.
Carla: Well, I'll leave you to prepare.
Sam: Yeah. Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in!

Quote from Cliff

Norm: Uh-oh. Isn't that Henri, that jerk who's always trying to steal Kelly from Woody?
Alan: You know, I just don't like that guy.
Tim: Con artist.
Cliff: Yeah, Mister Frenchie Two-Face.
Henri: Hello, fellows!
All: Hey, Henri! How's it going?

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: I know, I know, and I've tried to quit, but it's too hard- I just can't!
Sam: Yeah, well, you need some professional help. Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, here we go. "Smokers Anonymous," "Smoke Beaters." Oh, yeah, yeah. "Doctor Kluger's No-Mercy Clinic."
Rebecca: Wait a minute. Let me see that.
Sam: Here we are.
Rebecca: Sam, he doesn't even have an ad; it's just his name. How about going with this one with the cute little smoking kitty?
Sam: [on the phone] Yeah, uh, is this, uh, Dr. Kluger? Well, my name's Sam Malone, and I have an employee that needs to stop smoking right this very minute. Can you help me out? Yeah, tell me about your program. Oh! Ow! Boy, I bet that hurts, huh? Wow, I bet you really have to be a doctor to do that, don't you? Uh, no, no.
It sounds terrific. Yes, I can. All right, great! Thank you very much. [hangs up]
Rebecca: Sounds good.
Sam: Oh, yeah.
Rebecca: I'll fit it in in my spare time. Maybe I'll stop by next week.
Sam: No, you don't understand, hon. We got to get you up to the sidewalk right now. They're sending the, uh, Kluger van.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Hey, I like you. It's nothing personal. As a matter of fact, I think of you as kind of a young Sam Malone.
Henri: Uh, don't you mean, you're kind of, uh, an old Henri?
Sam: No, I don't.

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