Justice of the Peace: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman in matrimony. Marriage is a sacred union not to be entered into lightly. If there is any person present who knows a reason why this couple should not be united, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
Diane: I do.
Frasier: Right phrase, wrong wedding.

Sam: Hey, Woody, some champagne here. I mean, this is quite an occasion. I mean, I know I'm responsible for that, but I didn't even see that coming. The thought never even crossed my mind.
Diane: Thoughts can't cross your mind, Sam. The bridge is out.

Frasier: So how do you like Cheers?
Lilith: Well, it seems adequate for its purpose. But I have a feeling that you only brought me to this place to surround yourself with people you know and I don't.
Frasier: Well, yes. But what's more, I thought that we might have a drink or two, thereby lowering our inhibitions a bit, and enabling us to go back to your place, and have a physical encounter of some sort.
Lilith: Well, we won't.
Frasier: I appreciate your candor.
Lilith: No, you don't.
Frasier: You're right. I feel like striking you.
Lilith: Your attempt at machismo is totally inadequate. You can't even make eye contact.
Frasier: I could look at you if I wanted to. But frankly, I've grown tired of counting the comb marks in your hair.

Norm: Well, Cliffie, we got time for a wedding on this evening's agenda?
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, well, if we put back the billiards game. And, well, we gotta miss the first ten minutes of nighttime Wheel of Fortune.
Norm: I just- I hate it when someone throws a monkey wrench in the works.
Cliff: No, don't worry, Norm. Look, we'll just postpone the darts game until after the vows.
Norm: Yeah? Aren't you forgetting something, Mr. Organizer? Today's the day when People magazine comes out.
Cliff: Yeah, so?
Norm: So when are we supposed to black out celebrities' teeth? Tell me that.

Woody: Dr. Crane? I couldn't be happier for you. She is a beautiful girl.
Frasier: Thank you, Woody.
Woody: My dream is to someday fall in love with a beautiful girl, and for her to fall in love with me. We get married and have three wonderful children who grow up, and move away from us, and hardly ever write. She and I would grow old in an empty house together and die. I forgot. I also want a boat.
Frasier: It'll happen for you, Woody. I know it.

Frasier: Everybody, I'd like you to meet my date, Dr. Lilith Sternin, M.D., Ph.D., Ed.D., APA.
Woody: Boy, it sure isn't spelled like it sounds.

Lilith: I'll have a white wine.
Frasier: I'll have a beer.
Sam: A beer, Woody, and white wine for the charming lady.
Lilith: Charming? Your flattery is obligatory and specious.
Sam: Thank you.

Frasier: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and use the little boys' room.
Lilith: Why does a grown man feel the need to euphemize?
Woody: Well, he did drink that beer awfully fast.

Lilith: Oh, that's the hospital. I'm on call. With any luck, it will be one of my manic-depressives and the evening will take an upturn.
Norm: Well, you gotta love her, don't you?
Lilith: Excuse me, miss? Would you please inform Dr. Crane that I had to leave on an emergency? And kindly relay this message: "I've had a very uncomfortable evening, and I don't think we should see each other in the future, except professionally."
Carla: What? No good-night kiss?
Lilith: I kiss only as a prelude to passion.
Sam: Well, we've been warned.

Diane: I'm so proud of Frasier. He's making good on his vow to start a new life.
Frasier: Lilith and I met over drinks after the chemical-dependency seminar last week.
Lilith: By the way, I noticed your drinking went beyond sociability.
Frasier: Woody, may I have two cognacs? And what would you like? [chuckles] Come on, it was just a meaningless joke.
Lilith: There's no such thing as a meaningless joke.
Frasier: I'd forgotten.