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‘Second Time Around’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Cheers: Second Time Around

417. Second Time Around

Aired February 6, 1986

After Frasier has a terrible first date with a colleague of his, Dr. Lilith Sternin, Sam sets him up with one of his past girlfriends.

Quote from Frasier

Justice of the Peace: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman in matrimony. Marriage is a sacred union not to be entered into lightly. If there is any person present who knows a reason why this couple should not be united, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
Diane: I do.
Frasier: Right phrase, wrong wedding.


Quote from Diane

Sam: Hey, Woody, some champagne here. I mean, this is quite an occasion. I mean, I know I'm responsible for that, but I didn't even see that coming. The thought never even crossed my mind.
Diane: Thoughts can't cross your mind, Sam. The bridge is out.

Quote from Lilith

Frasier: So how do you like Cheers?
Lilith: Well, it seems adequate for its purpose. But I have a feeling that you only brought me to this place to surround yourself with people you know and I don't.
Frasier: Well, yes. But what's more, I thought that we might have a drink or two, thereby lowering our inhibitions a bit, and enabling us to go back to your place, and have a physical encounter of some sort.
Lilith: Well, we won't.
Frasier: I appreciate your candor.
Lilith: No, you don't.
Frasier: You're right. I feel like striking you.
Lilith: Your attempt at machismo is totally inadequate. You can't even make eye contact.
Frasier: I could look at you if I wanted to. But frankly, I've grown tired of counting the comb marks in your hair.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Well, Cliffie, we got time for a wedding on this evening's agenda?
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, well, if we put back the billiards game. And, well, we gotta miss the first ten minutes of nighttime Wheel of Fortune.
Norm: I just- I hate it when someone throws a monkey wrench in the works.
Cliff: No, don't worry, Norm. Look, we'll just postpone the darts game until after the vows.
Norm: Yeah? Aren't you forgetting something, Mr. Organizer? Today's the day when People magazine comes out.
Cliff: Yeah, so?
Norm: So when are we supposed to black out celebrities' teeth? Tell me that.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Dr. Crane? I couldn't be happier for you. She is a beautiful girl.
Frasier: Thank you, Woody.
Woody: My dream is to someday fall in love with a beautiful girl, and for her to fall in love with me. We get married and have three wonderful children who grow up, and move away from us, and hardly ever write. She and I would grow old in an empty house together and die. I forgot. I also want a boat.
Frasier: It'll happen for you, Woody. I know it.

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Everybody, I'd like you to meet my date, Dr. Lilith Sternin, M.D., Ph.D., Ed.D., APA.
Woody: Boy, it sure isn't spelled like it sounds.

Quote from Lilith

Lilith: I'll have a white wine.
Frasier: I'll have a beer.
Sam: A beer, Woody, and white wine for the charming lady.
Lilith: Charming? Your flattery is obligatory and specious.
Sam: Thank you.

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and use the little boys' room.
Lilith: Why does a grown man feel the need to euphemize?
Woody: Well, he did drink that beer awfully fast.

Quote from Lilith

Lilith: Oh, that's the hospital. I'm on call. With any luck, it will be one of my manic-depressives and the evening will take an upturn.
Norm: Well, you gotta love her, don't you?
Lilith: Excuse me, miss? Would you please inform Dr. Crane that I had to leave on an emergency? And kindly relay this message: "I've had a very uncomfortable evening, and I don't think we should see each other in the future, except professionally."
Carla: What? No good-night kiss?
Lilith: I kiss only as a prelude to passion.
Sam: Well, we've been warned.

Quote from Lilith

Diane: I'm so proud of Frasier. He's making good on his vow to start a new life.
Frasier: Lilith and I met over drinks after the chemical-dependency seminar last week.
Lilith: By the way, I noticed your drinking went beyond sociability.
Frasier: Woody, may I have two cognacs? And what would you like? [chuckles] Come on, it was just a meaningless joke.
Lilith: There's no such thing as a meaningless joke.
Frasier: I'd forgotten.

Quote from Carla

Diane: Oh, dear. It appears Frasier has been rejected again.
Carla: That poor yutz. Even the trash only gets dumped once a week.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Sam, I'm getting a little low. I'm also running out of beer.
Sam: Well, yeah. Maybe I can help you out on both counts here, Frasier. I'd like you to meet Candi.
Candi: Hi.
Frasier: Hi, yourself.
Candi: Anyone ever tell you you've got a cute forehead?
Frasier: Frankly, no, but I've been told I have acute anxiety. [laughs]

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: I don't believe it. Frasier just turned down Candi. If it was me, I'd be making her scrambled eggs by now.
Carla: I'm sure she'd prefer that to sex.
Norm: Why do you open your mouth?
Cliff: I didn't know she was there, Norm. You know, we need to put a little bell on her.

Quote from Sam

Diane: Frasier. You have to admit you and Candi are as different as night and day. You are as different as Sam and l. Frasier, hear me out. We were, as you are, diametrically opposed personalities. Oh, at first, our differences were charming to us. I found Sam's lack of refinement and sophistication crudely provocative.
Sam: Yeah, and I liked the way her hair smelled.
Diane: I'm sure, in addition, you were excited by the intellectual vistas to which I exposed you?
Sam: No, I really think it was that conditioner.
Diane: The point I'm trying to make is that the only thing we had was a great physical relationship.
Sam: Yeah, and we had a lot of that.
Diane: But when we'd go to concerts, Sam would be bored stiff, and I'd be excited, and we'd be on totally different planes.
Sam: Yeah, but we caught the same flight once we got home and hit the old Posturepedic. [laughs]

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Where's Lilith?
Diane: Dr. Sternin was called away on an emergency.
Frasier: Well, that's all right. Anyway, I didn't much care for Lilith. Sam, do you mind if I just use your office for a moment?
Sam: Sure, sure. How come?
Frasier: I'm going to weep.

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