TV Quotes

Rebecca: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, you guys. Let's not jump to any wild conclusions here. Let's just look at the facts. Now, all we really know is that Robin is using my secret password to break into my corporation's confidential files. And from the date on these, it looks like he's been doing it since... Well, since the day after we first slept together. So all I think we can really conclude from this is that... I am too stupid to live!

Cliff: Hey, yeah, but, you know, so, if you Brits ever find yourself in trouble against, uh, another major military power like Argentina, you know, don't worry about a thing, uh, well, we Yanks'll be there to bail you out just like we were during the last two big ones, huh?
Norm: Cliffie, Cliff! There's a gentleman over here that thinks you know absolutely nothing about photosynthesis.
Cliff: Oh, yeah, who? Why... Why, I'll straighten him out. The first paper that was done...

Sam: I'm going to prepare my lecture, here. You know, it's about time I gave something back to the sport that's given me so much.
Diane: Sam, I think you should read this after all.
Sam: Oh.
Diane: It's not what you think. Now, if you change your mind about the class coming here tonight, call me at home. I'll understand.
Sam: "The Don Juan Syndrome in Modern Culture: An Analysis of Sat-- Sate-- Sater-- Satyriasis." Oh, man, she did it. She even made my sex life boring.
Carla: And not for the first time.

Lilith: Frasier, can I speak with you? I don't know how comfortable I feel with this setup. He's just a baby. He needs supervision.
Frasier: Well, Sam can take care of it.
Lilith: I'm talking about Sam. You know how out of control he can get at times, what a mess he can make of everything.
Frasier: Well, Sam can clean it up. Oh, you're talking about Sam.
Lilith: I'm talking about Sam.
Frasier: Darling, it'll just be for a few hours.
Lilith: All right. But if anything goes wrong, he could be scarred for life.
Frasier: You mean Sam, right?
Lilith: Yes, and it is a threat.

Lilith: I'll have a white wine.
Frasier: I'll have a beer.
Sam: A beer, Woody, and white wine for the charming lady.
Lilith: Charming? Your flattery is obligatory and specious.
Sam: Thank you.

Diane: The last time we had an official parting of the ways there was some question as to who left whom. That is why this time I've gone to the trouble of tendering my resignation in the written form. Legal precedent states that the written document always supersedes the spoken word, especially when it's spoken by a goof.
Sam: Oh, fine. Fine. Who cares? See you in the funny papers.
Diane: Oh, that's perfect. The funny papers. Don't say another word. Let that be the last utterance I remember. And now I'm off to begin a new life. I shall forget you in a trice.
Sam: Oh, a trice? Please, let that be the last word I hear from you.
Diane: You troglodyte.
Sam: That's even better!

Sam: What are you doing here tonight?
Diane: I'm having dinner upstairs with Frasier and his mother. She's a seafood aficionado, we think she'll like the bouillabaisse at Melville's.
Sam: You're having dinner with Frasier's mother?
Diane: You actually deduced I'm having dinner with Frasier and his mother when all I did was say it in your presence. No flash cards, no crib notes on your sleeve? Uncanny.