TV Quotes

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Another layer for the winter, Wood.

John: Ah, good afternoon, Miss Tortelli.
Carla: Oh, Hill. What, are you on an ugly break?
John: Oh, my. Someone certainly got up on the wrong side of town this morning.
Carla: What's the matter, Hill, your scalp on too tight?
John: Very funny.

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Paul: Hey, Norm, how's the world been treatin' ya?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

Esther Clavin: Oh I understand, Clifford. If this is the woman you've chosen to take my place I guess the only thing for me to do is die.
Cliff: Ma, what are you doing?
Esther Clavin: I'm dying.
Cliff: You're not dying. Will you stop it? Come on.
Esther Clavin: No need to take me to the graveyard, Clifford. Just set me next to your tubby friend there. And when I start to bloat, just toss me in the Dumpster.
Norm: Thanks for bringing your ma by.
Esther Clavin: It's the way I want to go, alone in a bar without my son. Anyone who is blood-type O is welcome to my organs. I don't recommend the heart. It's been broken. What's that, Grandma? Come toward the light?

Cliff: No, it's true, Coach. See, many scientists believe that the little finger, that's the pinkie in the legerdemain, will one day, like the tail, disappear, you know, cos it serves no useful purpose.
Coach: Well, you know, people couldn't go swimming without their little finger.
Norm: Why do you need a little finger to swim, Coach?
Coach: When you come out of the water, you can't do this. [cleans out ear]
Cliff: I stand corrected.

Carla: Diane, I heard screams.
Diane: Oh, well, I dreamt I was being murdered.
Carla: Was I the one who was murdering you?
Diane: No.
Carla: Was I helping in any way?

Carla: I'm telling you, Woody, you've got to call this thing off. Just reschedule it for any other day but this.
Woody: Well, that's out of the question, Carla. After what happened this morning, Kelly and I have to get married, or she'll be a fallen woman, and I'll have brought disgrace on my whole family, just like Uncle Orlo. He got caught checking into a motel with a cream separating machine. It may not seem shocking now, but in the early '60s, that was considered pretty weird.