Frasier: Well, as it turns out, you can now watch your game with a clear conscience. I won't be doing that show after all.
Diane: What changed your mind, Frasier?
Frasier: Well, Dr. Foster had to cancel, and, uh Dr. Sternin is going to take his place.
Diane: Lilith Sternin?
Cliff: You mean that-- uh, pardon my French-- woman you once dated?
Frasier: That's a rather charitable description, Cliff. Well, I just hope they can find someone to replace me as readily as they did Dr. Foster.
Carla: Can't handle debating a woman, eh?
Frasier: A woman, yes. An ice cube in heels, no! Look, I have no intention of entering a debate with those cold, gray eyes and those clever, smirking lips. I'd rather clip my nails in a Cuisinart.

Lilith: Good afternoon, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Dr. Sternin. What a lovely surprise.
Lilith: I hope I can regard that as civility in light of today's situation, rather than sarcasm at my expense.
Frasier: No, that was completely at your expense.
Lilith: You know, I wasn't going to do today's show when I heard you were the other guest, but then I realized I'd relish proving my superiority over you in public.
Frasier: Yes, that appeals to me, too.

Woody: Okay, the tank's full, and the gear's all loaded. I got everything you could possibly need for a fishing trip.
Cliff: Uh, Woody, look, uh, we're right in the middle of the game, huh?
Woody: I got a battery-operated portable TV in the car.
Norm: We got a few beers to finish here yet, buddy.
Woody: I got a cooler full icing down in the trunk.
Cliff: Yup, I think the kid's outlasted us, Norm.
Woody: Hot dog! Look out, trout! [laughs] Hey, if you guys don't mind, I'll do the driving.
Norm: All right, I got shotgun.
Woody: Wouldn't it be more sporting to use a fishing pole? [laughs] Oh, this is gonna be great!

Frasier: So, am I to assume that you just naturally thought that I'd be at this drinking establishment?
Lilith: Actually, knowing your obsessive-compulsiveness, I checked with your service, and indeed, you'd left them a very complete itinerary of your day. I trust all went well at the dry cleaner's.
Frasier: Thank you, yes. And I can assume from your questioning that you're attempting to make idle conversation rather than articulating some control dysfunction with my personal habits.
Lilith: That's correct.
Norm: Are they fighting?

Lilith: First of all, I think any mention of our past relationship could tarnish the objectivity factor of the show.
Frasier: You call that a relationship? I mean, we dated one time. The closest we came to physical contact was when you closed the car door on my hand.
Lilith: Are you repressing?
Frasier: Oh! Forgive me. Actually, you're quite right. Yes, I should be straightforward in telling you that you are passionless, stoic and emotionally numb.
Lilith: Apology accepted.
Frasier: Merci.
Woody: Yeah, I'm pretty sure they're fighting. He just asked for mercy.

Diane: Dr. Sternin, excuse me. I overheard Dr. Crane's remarks. If it's any consolation, I can empathize with your hurt feelings. If you'd like to share any of them with me as a fellow woman, I would consider it an honor.
Lilith: Who are you?
Diane: [chuckles softly] Diane Chambers. I'm an old friend of Dr. Crane's, a student, and until my imminent marriage, an employee here at Cheers. Please, let's sit down.
Lilith: Well, I suppose I am just a little sensitive when it pertains to my appearance.
Diane: Well, if I may be so bold as to step into your arena, I believe that Frasier's hostility is masking a deep attraction to you.
Lilith: [subdued chuckling] Thank you, Diane. It's been a long time since I've had such a good laugh.

Moderator: [on TV] You've made many excellent points, Dr. Sternin. How do you respond to them, Dr. Crane? [Frasier is silent] Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Oh, excu- What was the question? Oh, uh, yes, of course. Excuse me, uh... Yes, my method of flooding, uh, seeks out the patient's, well, most sensitive and vulnerable spot in the defense system, and, uh... penetrates... probing deeper and deeper into the patient's psyche, thrusting over and over. And thereby uncovering the reality behind the irrational fear.
Moderator: Thank you, Dr. Crane. Anything to add, Dr. Sternin?
Lilith: Yes. Uh... [clears throat] Although Dr. Crane's method is faster, a slow and methodical approach can be much more rewarding. Gentle stroking of the psyche will bring about a far more intense release of emotion building until the patient quite often will literally cry out in a release of satisfaction and joy.
Frasier: [gasping] Point well taken.

Lilith: Good evening, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Dr. Sternin. It's, uh, nice to see you again.
Lilith: And you. I apologize for my overzealous behavior this afternoon. And for making fools of us both.
Frasier: Yes, well, I would also like to apologize for my completely unprofessional attitude, and I promise you that that sort of thing will never happen again.
Lilith: Fine. I've already penned a letter to the American Psychiatric Association apologizing for my behavior. I would suggest that you do likewise.
Frasier: Of course, of course.
Lilith: And I think perhaps for the sake of our professional reputations, it's best we put this matter behind us and go on with our lives.
Frasier: Oh. That is probably wise. You see, I've already lost three patients as a result of today's fiasco.
Lilith: That's odd. I picked up three.
Lilith: While we're on the subject, Dr. Crane, I suggest that your behavior indicates an unacceptable level of sexual frustration. You strike me as a man who needs professional help. Or perhaps a girlfriend.
Frasier: And you strike me as a woman who could use a good cuffing.

Norm: Cliffy, it was not ten. I had 11 of 'em. 11!
Cliff: You're wrong, Normie, you're wrong, wrong, wrong.
Sam: How was the Gladiator film fest, fellas?
Cliff: Not now, Sammy. We're awash in controversy. You had ten, Norm, just like me.
Woody: Ten what?
Cliff: Anachronisms.
Woody: Huh?
Cliff: Oh, you know, those things that, uh, aren't in the time period in which the film is set. Normie and I like to see who-who gets the most.
Norm: Today it was me. 11!
Cliff: Normie, you had ten just like me. There was no way it was Caesar Augustus wearing Reeboks.

Diane: Dr. Sternin, you're back.
Lilith: Diane, I'd like to thank you for your Pygmalion-like efforts. I'd like to, but I can't, because they led to disaster.