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Thanksgiving Orphans

‘Thanksgiving Orphans’

Season 5, Episode 9 -  Aired November 27, 1986

Although Diane plans to spend Thanksgiving at the home of her literature professor, she talks Carla into opening her home up to the gang from Cheers.

Quote from Frasier

Woody: You know, uh, Rudolph is my favorite guy in the Christmas songs.
Sam: Yeah.
Frasier: You know, apparently then, Woody, you're unaware that the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is one of the most unrealistic, and therefore potentially damaging in all of children's music. It gives them a horribly distorted view of reality.
Woody: Yeah, but you gotta admit, it's easy to whistle.
Frasier: Look, I'm serious. You know, first the other reindeer tease and then ostracize him. And then when his abnormality proves of service, they use him. But then do they allow him to play in their stupid reindeer games?
Both: Yes.
Frasier: Oh, no, no, no, I know how the song goes. In fact, not only do Donner, Blitzen, et al, not love him and laugh out with glee, but they doubly despise the bulbous-nosed little wimp. Well, I gotta be off. [cheerful] Happy Holidays!

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Quote from Norm

Carla: [doorbell rings] I'll get it.
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Carla: Where's Vera?
Norm: She's, uh, she's gonna put on a little more makeup. That, uh, first coat didn't really take.

Quote from Diane

Diane: All right, I guess I need to give you an indication of what I had in mind. Now l, too, am very thankful for my health and for my dear friends. But on this very special occasion, my mind goes back over the years to the people who have influenced me. And I would like to name some of them for you. Teilhard de Chardin, George Sand, Caravaggio... Oh, Emily Dickenson, the Buddha, Frank Lloyd Wright... [time lapse] Jean d'Arc, Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Okay, we'll be sitting boy-girl, boy-girl. Clavin, you can sit anywhere.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Is it all right if I hang some Christmas decorations in here?
Sam: Sure. Boy, is it that time again? Wow, Christmas comes earlier every year, doesn't it?
Woody: No, I think if you check, Sam, it always comes on the 25th of December.
Sam: Of course, of course, of course. Thank you, Woody, thank you.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: What a wonderful opportunity for you, Diane. You know, perhaps in the evening you can establish a rapport with Mr. Styron while passing the yams. Who knows? Come pie time, he may well have taken you under his wing and launched you into the literary galaxy.
Diane: Frasier, you and I are of like mind.
Frasier: Except one of us is kidding.

Quote from Carla

Diane: Wait a second. Listen to you. Carla, you have a new place. You could have a little gathering.
Carla: Forget it.
Diane: Oh, come on. What could be more enjoyable than opening your heart with holiday cheer?
Carla: Opening yours with a can opener?
Woody: That sounds great! No, I meant the first part, Miss Chambers.

Quote from Frasier

Carla: Well, why not? But it's gonna have to be potluck. Sammy, why don't you bring your date and join us?
Sam: All right. Tell you what, Carla. I'm good for dessert. So I've been told.
Frasier: You know, I'm glad to see that you're all fending off the holiday blues. This time of year is filled with arguments, suicides, murders. Yeah, I guess it's the seasonal happiness of others tends to throw a glaring light on the flaws in our own interpersonal relationships. But see, of course, that's no problem for me. I'm alone.
Carla: Wanna join us for some bird, Frasier?
Frasier: Could l?
Carla: Sure. The more the merrier.

Quote from Carla

Cliff: Hey, so, uh, what time do you want us there, Carla?
Carla: What do you mean "us," Clavin?
Cliff: Well, you know...
Carla: This party is for lonelies, not homelies.

Quote from Norm

Norm: No, I can't make it this year.
Sam: Why not? I mean, we never even met Vera.
Carla: Yeah.
Norm: No, we gotta go to Vera's mother's. Such a drag. No beer, no TV, heat turned up to 80.
Cliff: That's all right, Normie, you know. You gotta do what your little wifey wants you to do. You either got 'em or you don't.
Norm: All right. You know somethin', Cliff, you're absolutely right. Eight years I've been goin' to that old bat's house. I think Vera owes me one, all right? I'm gonna march into that house. I'm just gonna say, "Vera, this year we're goin' to Carla's for Thanksgiving. That's the last I wanna hear on the subject."
Cliff: Hey, all right!
Carla: Good for you, Norm. Okay, Norm's out.
Norm: Just count me in, all right? You'll see.

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