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‘One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape

704. One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape

Aired November 17, 1988

Rebecca tries to find a way out of her "engagement" to Martin Teal, but she needs Sam's help.

Quote from Cliff

Carla: I don't know what that Latin lover said, but I sure dig the way he said it.
Cliff: Well, if you ask me, Ramon's a lot more Latin than lover. Yeah, you know, study after study show that the old sons of Spain just don't have our sexual prowess.
Norm: Cliffie, nobody has your sexual prowess.
Cliff: Thanks, Norm. You know, it seems that the tropical sun dries out a man's vital juices. You ever seen a raisin?
Norm: Have you ever seen a doctor?

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Quote from Norm

Norm: All right, I hate to change the subject, but I don't know if anyone else recognizes we seem to have a little problem here.
Woody: Oh, you need another beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Okay, we have two problems.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Uh, there's a distinct possibility that Sammy may never come back.
Frasier: Frankly, I don't blame him. Beautiful weather, miles of beaches...
Cliff: Yeah, chicks.
Frasier: No suits, no rules, no tight shoes to pinch your feet.
Norm: Yeah, that'd be good to get out of the city a little bit, wouldn't it?
Cliff: Oh, yeah. I got five vacation days coming to me.
Frasier: Oh, say, it may be a crazy idea, but why don't we go down there, too? Lay out in the sun for a while, work on that old manana attitude?
Woody: Should we do it? What do you say, guys?
Norm: Ah, maybe tomorrow.

Quote from Rebecca

Man: [on radio] And we're on the help line with...
Rebecca: Oh, me. Me, hi. Uh, hello? My name is Reb...punzel. And uh, I'm sorry if I sound a little bit nervous, but this is the first time I've ever called a radio show for help. But I have this problem, and it's so horrendous that I didn't have anyplace else to turn. Now, I have this new boss at work, and he's incredibly rich and he's incredibly powerful, but he is also sort of a, um.. Oh, God, how could I put this without sounding mean? Um... a weasely little twerp. Anyway, this guy asked me out, and to get out of going out with him, I told him that I was going with this guy named Sam...son. So, Samson, who can be an incredible jerk sometimes, told my boss, the twerp, that we broke up. All right, so my boss...
Man: The twerp.
Rebecca: Right. My boss asked me out, and you're not going to believe this. He proposed to me. I mean, the only thing I could think of to do, without jeopardizing my career, was to tell my boss that I was still in love with Samson. But I cannot keep avoiding the guy. As an example, he is upstairs right now having lunch at Mel...monico's. Melmonico's. The thing is, that now I'm worried. Do you think I did the right thing?
Man: I think so. Now, did you have a gardening question? You called the Dr. Green Thumb Show. [Rebecca hangs up]
Carla: [enters] Uh, just a reminder, Rapunzel. Plant your bulbs early.

Quote from Woody

Carla: Oh, Sammy, tell me it isn't true.
Sam: Carla, come on. It's not true.
Carla: I knew that. You're a lousy actor. I'm pretty good though, huh?
Woody: Well, actually, Carla, as a student of the theater, I have to correct you. What you were doing there is not called acting. It's called improvising.
Carla: Shut up, Woody.
Woody: Now, that would be directing.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Oh, yeah, I know, Norm, that's a that's a beautiful birdie you got there on the ninth.
Norm: Thank you.
Frasier: Oh, so you guys were playing golf today, huh?
Cliff: Yeah, nothing like bashing the old pill around, huh? Young Woody Nicklaus here broke 80.
Norm: All right; good man.
Frasier: Hey, really? You shot under 80 for 18 holes?
Woody: Well, no actually, it was 17.
Norm: Yeah, the 18th hole is the windmill. If you're stupid enough to play that one, it's going to eat your little colored ball.
Frasier: You were playing miniature golf.
Norm: Oh, yeah. Do you have any idea how long those real golf courses are?

Quote from Woody

Martin Teal: [to his colleagues] Gentlemen, that was a pretty poor showing for a power lunch. Ralph, you're going to have to start doing something more than just taking up space at these meetings.
Cliff: How does a guy so young get to be so incredibly powerful?
Woody: I just try to maintain a cheerful attitude and not abuse my position.
Frasier: I recently read a Forbes profile on our young Mr. Teal.
Cliff: Oh, yeah? Apparently, he started with his father's firm, kicked the old guy out when he was 17, hasn't looked back since.
Woody: Big deal. Did he ever win a purple ribbon in the Jefferson County Spelldown? Anathema. A-N-A-T-H-E-M-A. Anathema.
Frasier: Touche, Woody.
Woody: Touche. T-O-U-C-H-E, and a little slanty line. Touche.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: Just keep your stupid mouth shut and smile. We're engaged.
Sam: Oh. Great. Well, let's begin the honeymoon.
Rebecca: Sam, we're not actually getting married.
Sam: Well, that's even better. I can enjoy the honeymoon.
Rebecca: Come on, Sam. It's just a way to get Martin off my back.
Sam: Oh, dear you mean the problem-free relationship suddenly developed a glitch?
Rebecca: I can't very well tell the future president of the corporation no. I'd never work again. Please, Sam, just help me out here just until Martin gets over me. [Sam sighs] Come on.
Sam: Oh, I don't know. You know, if I go along with this, will you go to bed with me?
Rebecca: Let's put it this way. If you don't go along with this, I will never go to bed with you.
Sam: Wait. All right. So, in other words, if I don't... No. Wait, wait. That means if you... All right, this is me, this is you, this is the bed.
Rebecca: Sam, just do it.

Quote from Carla

Carla: I got him, I got him. I caught my little Ricardo Montalban. Just as he was getting into a cab. Go get your little apron on, honey.
Woody: Carla, how come you called Ramon Ricardo Montalban?
Carla: Because his tight little chinos are so packed with rich, Corinthian leather.
Woody: Oh, yeah, I see, now that you mention it.

Quote from Sam

Man: Excuse me, bartender, can we get a couple of pina coladas over here?
Sam: Sure thing. Let me just finish making this margarita. [to a woman] So, anyway, Margarita...
Pepe: Buenos noches, amigos.
All: Pepe!
Sam: Que tal, Pepe?
Pepe: Los calzones, Sammy. Esa agua esta muy fria.
Sam: Good one, man, good one.

Quote from Sam

Pepe: Pobrecita.
Sam: Oh, no, she's like that all the time. I mean, this isn't even a bad day for her.
Pepe: Son todas las babes de Boston locos como esta?
Sam: No, no. She's kind of the queen of loco. I mean, she was nutty the first day I met her. She's... She's hyper. You know what I mean, hyper? All she thinks about is her stupid career and she keeps blowing it. And I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull that lady's fat out of the fire. Get this, you know. This is her latest escapade. She wants me to pretend to be her fiance, 'cause she doesn't want to marry this pint-size executive back home. What do I get for my troubles? A gun stuck in my face. You know what the sorriest thing is? Me. I still like her. Why is that, Pepe?
Pepe: Nice buns, Sammy?
Sam: You people see things so clearly.

Quote from Rebecca

Carla: Hey, boss, last of the riffraff just cleared out of here. You want to lock up?
Rebecca: Sure, Carla, can you show me how a key works again?
Carla: Oh, brother, you been in there drinking all night?
Rebecca: Carla, I am celebrating. I think that I am the luckiest woman in the world. I'm going to marry the geek tycoon. And you know, he's going to give me money and jewels and all sorts of rich stuff. I am going to be so rich, I can stink and no one will even tell me.
Carla: I'm sure you two will be very happy together.
Rebecca: I'm sure I will, too. I'm gonna spend the rest of my life living in big, old mansions, wearing fabulous clothes and being real nasty to the help.
Carla: You feeling sorry for yourself because you have to marry a rich guy? Boo-hoo, boo-hoo.
Rebecca: Come on, Carla. You wouldn't trade Eddie for him.
Carla: I'd trade Eddie for a ride in his car. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Spam casserole lurking in the oven. [Martin Teal walks in] Hey, we're the same size.

Quote from Rebecca

Martin Teal: Rebecca, you should know by now that I haven't gotten where I am by waiting for things to come to me. As far as I'm concerned, this is a done deal. So let's make it legal.
Sam: [enters] Hey, baby, I'm back! Call off the Federales.
Rebecca: Sam!
Sam: I couldn't stay away from you for another second, my darling. Kiss me. [they kiss] Oop- Hey, did I interrupt something here?
Rebecca: No, Martin and I were just going to get married, but now that you're back... [gasps] Oh, Martin. I'm so sorry. This is really tearing me apart. But I need to follow my heart.
Martin Teal: Well, if that's what you feel, Rebecca, you've got it. I hope you two will be very happy together. But remember: you blew it in a big, big way.
Rebecca: I hope this won't affect our business relationship.
Martin Teal: Why should it?
Rebecca: Gee, when I sober up, I'm probably going to worry about this. Better not let that happen.

Quote from Rebecca

Dennis: [knocks] Miss Howe?
Rebecca: Oh, no.
Dennis: Oh, yes. The master of the universe awaits your presence.
Rebecca: Dennis, I- I sense bitterness. I've never heard you talk like this before.
Dennis: Oh, I could tell you stories, honey. Here she is, sir, per your request.

Quote from Rebecca

Martin Teal: So, how's the greatest love story ever told working out?
Rebecca: Sam and I are just as steady as ever.
Martin Teal: As steady as yesterday when you broke up twice?
Rebecca: Things are different. Uh... It's... It's more serious.
Martin Teal: I won't consider it really serious until I see a ring on your finger.
Rebecca: Well, what I meant by serious is, um is that Sam and I are engaged.
Sam: [enters] Hey, everybody.
Norm: Congratulations, Sammy.
Sam: Oh? What for? She was just a stewardess.
Rebecca: Stop joking, you big lug, and come here. Can you excuse us just a second, Martin? We have to discuss our silver pattern.

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