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Woody Interruptus

‘Woody Interruptus’

Season 9, Episode 13 -  Aired December 13, 1990

Woody fears he will lose Kelly when she returns from France with a man, Henri.

Quote from Woody

Woody: I can't believe Kelly would be so mad at me just 'cause I stood up to Henri. It's like she's starting to like him better than me. Hey, Sam, you don't think that maybe they've been to...
Sam: To the back of the barn?
Woody: I was gonna say to bed together. What- What is the back of the barn? What does that mean? That- That's- That's where the compost heap is. I can't think of any place less romantic.


Quote from Woody

Woody: Kelly's coming back from France.
Frasier: Ah! She's hopping the pond, eh?
Woody: The what?
Frasier: The pond. It's a reference to the Atlantic.
Woody: Uh, the Atlantic is an ocean, not a pond, Dr. Crane. How many of those have you had?
Frasier: Apparently, not enough.
Woody: Boy, I am really nervous. It seems like Kelly's been gone a year.
Frasier: How long has she been gone?
Woody: A year. Can I put some ice in that drink for you, Dr. Crane?

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Henri, you're gonna love this. Woody thinks you really are trying to steal me away from him.
Henri: Oh! [laughs] Oh, that's so funny. I am, you know. Right out from under your nose. [laughs]
Kelly: See how he is, Woody? He really cracks me up.
Woody: [laughs] Yeah, that's a good one. Now, I got one for you, Henri. Get your hands off my girlfriend.
Kelly: Henri, if you'll excuse us a moment. Woody, I think you were a little rude to Henri just now.
Woody: Yeah, well, I think Henri was a little rude, too.
Kelly: He's supposed to be rude; he's French.

Quote from Rebecca

Woody: Well, I always figured we'd wait until after we were married. That's- That's the way everybody in Hanover does it. Except for that couple that teaches art at the high school.
Rebecca: I think waiting for marriage is a wonderful idea. I wish I had. I also wish that I had studied harder in college and maybe gone for a different career. Maybe engineering. And, you know, Boston was a bad move. And then, I mean, of course, you can't choose your own parents. But if I could have, I would have chosen two that were more supportive, you know, like Brian Keith and Maureen O'Hara in The Parent Trap. Woody, is this helping you?
Woody: Well, even if it isn't, just thinking about The Parent Trap for a moment made me feel good.

Quote from Norm

Woody: What do you think about premarital sex, Mr. P?
Norm: Well, Wood, there's an old saying, you know, uh... "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Then of course, you, uh, you get married, you wake up one day and realize: "Oh, my God. I've married a cow."
Woody: Thanks, Mr. P.

Quote from Carla

Cliff: Hey, guys! I just put a down payment on immortality!
Norm: Oh, yeah? What are you talking about? [Paul nudges Norm] I'm s- I'm sorry. It just slipped out.
Cliff: The miracle of cryogenics.
Rebecca: Oh, that thing where they freeze you?
Cliff: Yeah. Go ahead, take a look. You know, when my number is up, uh, I'll be frozen and preserved in a subzero container moments after a doctor declares me legally brain dead.
Carla: Boy, that's a tough call.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Oh, good, you're still dressed. Thank God I'm not too late. I knew I would find you guys here. I gotta talk to you guys before you make what could be the worst mistake of your lives.
Kelly: What's she talking about, Woody?
Carla: I'm talking about you two getting together in this motel room for all the wrong reasons.
Woody: She's talking about the two of us getting together in this motel room for all the wrong reasons.
Carla: Kids. Making love is a very special thing between two people. You don't want to throw that away just so you can beat some Frenchman to the punch. Believe me. I came to this motel when I was 16 years old. You know what happened? I got knocked up. And, uh, here I am, eight kids later, trying to talk you kids out of making the same mistake.

Quote from Carla

Norm: Oh, no! You got some car trouble?
Carla: Oh, yeah. Every time it gets cold, my stupid battery dies.
Norm: Gotta get a new one?
Carla: Ugh! No, that's all right. I got one right here. [grunts] Here. Norm, close the hood. Start walking real fast.

Quote from Carla

Rebecca: You know, in this brochure, the containers look kind of small.
Cliff: They don't freeze your entire body. No, just the brain pan.
Rebecca: They cut off your head and freeze it?
Cliff: Uh-huh.
Rebecca: What do they do with the rest of your body, throw it away?
Carla: Well, it's a start.

Quote from Cliff

Norm: Cliff, uh, this corporation wouldn't be owned by a dog food company, would it?
Sam: I want to get this straight. So, when it's time for you to thaw out, what do they do? They, like, uh, put your head in a plastic bag and plop you in some boiling water for three minutes?
Carla: Sammy! Sammy, this is science, not Lean Cuisine.
Paul: Hey, Clavin on ice. That's nice.
Frasier: Now, wait a minute. Why is everybody making fun of Cliff? Now, I'm not saying that I believe that Cliff's severed head will be brought back to life in the year 2278 to charm and delight a new generation of Bostonians, but who knows? I mean, who can predict the future?
Carla: [holds up a bag of ice] Hey, look, everybody-- it's Clavin's family reunion!
Cliff: That's it, I'm out of here. I'll have real friends in 2278!
Norm: Oh, yeah. You and the other severed heads can go bowling or something.

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