Norm: Ah, look at that. That really takes me back, you know? I remember my first date with Vera. The flowers, the candy, the wine.
Pete: Sounds pretty romantic, Norm.
Norm: Yeah, it was. You know, in retrospect, I suppose I should have gotten her something, but, uh... I guess you can't turn back that clock, can you?

Sam: I don't know, Carla. Either managing a bar is getting a lot more complicated, or I'm getting a lot dumber.
Carla: You couldn't be getting any dumber, Sam.
Sam: Well, it must be that other thing.
Carla: You know, having you back in charge really reminds me of old times, you know? I mean, real old times.
Even before the evil days, when darkness fell over the earth.
Norm: She means when Diane was still here.
Frasier: I know precisely what she means.

Sam: Sweetheart, what happened?
Rebecca: I just had to knock on my own office door.
Sam: Honey, l- l'm so sorry. I swear to God I didn't want this to happen.
Rebecca: I know. It's not your fault. I know why it happened. Because I'm a loser. I always have been, and I always will be a big old, fat, old, stupid loser.
Sam: No, you're not a loser. Don't say that, you hear me? You are not a loser.
Rebecca: Okay.
Sam: You have a barrette for this, or something?
Rebecca: I lost it.
Sam: Sweetheart, don't worry about- Don't worry about that. It'll be all right. Hey, you know what might make you feel better? We never had that date, you know?
Rebecca: Oh, God! You just go back over there and do whatever it was you were doing, and I will get out of your life forever.
Sam: Rebecca, I...
Rebecca: Sam, please. It'll make it a lot easier. You know, I might just become a bag lady. They're not all old, you know. It could happen. It really could. I'll just send for the rest of my things.

Carla: Sammy, you might as well make that entry in your diary right now because no mortal woman can resist this package.
Sam: No, no, we're just having dinner.
Carla: Uh-ho!
Norm: Oh, right, yeah. Columbus was just going on a little boat ride, huh?
Cliff: Oh, it turns out that's true, Norm. He told the missus he was just stepping out for lunch, and, uh, took a left instead of a right at the Isle of, uh, Langerhans, and before you know it, uh, he's trading trinkets for Miami Beach.
Carla: Cliff, you should write a book.
Cliff: Why, thank you, Carla.
Carla: No, I mean right now. [Cliff laughs] I mean it. Look, here's a pencil and some paper. Go on in the back room, and don't come out until you have 60,000 words.

Rebecca: Woody, Sam's going to be upstairs for a while. When he comes down, give him this message. You tell him that it will be a cold day in hell before I ever share an office with him, or schlep drinks in a two-bit saloon.
Woody: Oh, Miss Howe? By the way, Midtown Mercedes called, and they said you can pick up your car anytime. Oh, and they got the one you wanted. The red one.
Rebecca: The red one?
[Rebecca hangs up her coat, takes the tray from Carla and walks over to a table]
Rebecca: Hi, there. My name's Rebecca. [voice breaking] And it will be my pleasure to serve you.

Sam: Rebecca, how long have we known each other?
Rebecca: No, I will not go out with you.
Sam: Hey, what what makes you think that I was gonna ask you for a date? You must really think you look hot tonight.
Rebecca: Then why did you come in here?
Sam: Well, I was, uh... Gonna compliment you on your blouse. That's a very pretty blouse.
Rebecca: Well, we haven't seen each other today until now. How did you know I'd be wearing this one?
Sam: I was hoping you were gonna wear it. It's always been my favorite blouse.
Rebecca: It's brand-new; it's the first time I've worn it.
Sam: I'm working part-time in department store security. I was in the store when you bought it.
Rebecca: I bought it mail order.
Sam: I drove the truck that delivered it to your house.

Carla: Sam, Stone is still on hold. He needs those figures on the double.
Sam: [computer beeps] Well, what the hell is that?
Carla: I'm no computer expert, but it looks like Donkey Kong.
Sam: Oh, man, that, that stinks. You know, l, I... It's not like it used to be around here, Carla. I mean corporations, computers, reports. I mean, I used to keep track of inventory in a spiral notebook, for God's sake.
Carla: No, you didn't.
Sam: Well, I always meant to.

Sam: Yeah, speaking of climbing to the top, the way I see it, you haven't had a date with a guy for about two and half years. Now, I think this date of ours could be good for me, but, sweetheart, I got to say, it's looking real necessary for you.
Rebecca: Sam, no. We're starting to become good friends. Now, why wreck that?
Sam: Why not- Friends tell friends who they think they ought to go out with, and as a friend, I'm telling you, you ought to give this Malone guy a chance.
Rebecca: [sighs] All right.
Sam: What?
Rebecca: I'll go out with you.
Sam: That is great. That's great, all right. Um, I'll pick you up... But just, uh, for future reference here, uh, what did I do right this time?
Rebecca: It's just that since Evan went away, my expectations are low. And with my stove on the blink and nothing on the tube tonight, I figured why not?
Sam: Thanks. Yeah, I'll have to remember that.

Sam: I just hate being in charge. I'm not good at it. Rebecca wasn't good at it either, but at least she enjoyed it. You know, I'm going to go back to Stone, and I'm going to beg him to give her this job back.
Carla: No, wait a minute. You're quitting because of this machine?
Sam: Carla, I hate that machine.
Carla: John Henry hated a machine, too. Do you know the story of John Henry, Sam? He went toe to toe with a steel-driving machine, and he refused to admit that that machine was better than him. And do you know what happened?
Sam: Yeah, the machine beat him. His heart exploded; he died.
Carla: He did?
Sam: Yes.
Carla: Well, go get her job back before you lose your ticker.

Carla: Whoa, how'd it go?
Sam: Oh, Woody, Woody, give me a seltzer there, will you? Mr. Stone is dead set against rehiring her, and I hate to beg when sex isn't involved.