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‘Executive Sweet’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Cheers: Executive Sweet

703. Executive Sweet

Aired November 10, 1988

Rebecca gets off on the wrong foot with her new boss, but he takes a liking to her anyway. Meanwhile, Woody gets a crate of bees delivered to the bar.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Good gravy, look at here. Says that one out of every three of our leisure dollars is spent in some kind of an amusement park. Mickey Mouse is a billion-dollar industry. For crying out... You know, if you've got to have theme parks, you know, why not give the kids some real heroes to look up to? You know what I mean? Like generals, astronauts, postal workers, uh, pioneers.
Frasier: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up there, Cliff. Postal workers?
Cliff: Sure. Yeah, why not? Hey, why not indeed. Get this. "Postal World". Huh? No, hey, hey, that's that's not half bad.
Norm: No. It's all bad.
Cliff: No, no, no. No. No, no, no. Just imagine this. You know, a whole amusement complex devoted to the postal experience. I mean, all of America could thrill to the glory and-and the pageantry and the passion that is the US Postal Service.
Frasier: And you seriously think that'll work?
Cliff: Oh, you bet I do. You know... You know, if I can peddle this idea, I might be able to make some real money and get out of this dead-end job.

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Quote from Woody

Woody: Oh, hi, Miss Howe. Uh, you got a message. Mr. Stone got fired, and the new Executive Vice President wants to see you in his office at 4:30 p.m. sharp.
Rebecca: Let me see that. This is a blank piece of paper, Woody.
Woody: Well, I know. I just carried it to remind me to give you the message.

Quote from Rebecca

Norm: Well, this gets you off the hook a little bit, doesn't it?
Rebecca: Don't be so sure. Things don't change. It's just another executive who will take an instant dislike to me, and then make my life hell. Unless he's been reading my reports and sees that I've been treated unfairly and decides to champion me in the firm. Come off it! I'm sure he's already heard the stories, and he's just gonna bring me in there and laugh at me. [opens office door] I need to calm down. I'm beginning to hear buzzing sounds. [enters office then comes back out] What the hell is in this box?
Woody: Those are my bees, Miss Howe.
Rebecca: Enough said.
Woody: Hey, can I keep them in there till then end of the day?
Rebecca: Sure. Anything you want. In my mood, I'll agree to anything.
Sam: Sounds like my cue.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Good Afternoon, Miss Howe. I believe you've met my associate, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: How do you do?
Rebecca: What is this?
Sam: Well, since you admire the people in the business world so much, I thought that I would try speaking to you in a language that you might understand. First graph, please.
Rebecca: Norm, how much did he pay you to do this?
Norm: Oh, come now. Mr. Malone and I go way back. We're dear old friends. $80. Not yet.
Sam: Okay. Now, this first graph represents your dating history.
Rebecca: There's nothing on it.
Sam: Exactly.
Rebecca: Next graph, please. Now, this line represents the sexual drive of a woman about your age throughout her entire life. All right. Now, this line here represents the sexual drive of a man about my age. You'll notice that these two lines intersect at approximately 4:27 this afternoon right here.
Rebecca: What's that?
Sam: My place. Thank you, Mr. Peterson. That'll be all.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Stone's out? My main man at HQ? Boy. I mean, there go all my corporate hopes. Wait a minute. I don't have any corporate hopes.

Quote from Sam

Delivery Guy: Uh, we got a delivery here for Woody Boyd.
Woody: Already? Oh, boy! [jumps over the bar] Great.
Delivery Guy: Sign right there.
Woody: Hey, uh, Sam, you think Miss Howe will mind if I put this in her office till the end of my shift?
Sam: That depends. What's in it?
Woody: 4,000 bees.
Sam: Then, by all means.

Quote from Woody

Norm: Woody, I didn't know you kept bees.
Woody: Oh, are you kidding? Hey, when I was a kid, you couldn't keep me away from my Uncle Fergy's hives. In fact, you'll never guess what they used to call me.
Carla: The kid rolling around on the ground in agony covered with painful welts?
Woody: No. Uh, Woody, the beekeeper.
Carla: Oh.
Woody: But you couldn't have known that.

Quote from Carla

Woody: Yeah, Uncle Fergy always told me that when he retired, he'd send me a batch of his best buck fast bees. Huh? This is gonna be great.
Cliff: Woody, are you sure it's safe to keep those things in here?
Woody: Oh, Mr. Clavin, a bee won't hurt you unless you scare him. Like my Uncle Fergy always told me, move slowly and methodically, and a bee can be your best friend. [buzzing]
Carla: Go for it, Cliff. It's the best offer you ever had.

Quote from Norm

Rebecca: You know, Norm, I would have expected this of Sam, but I can't believe you were part of it.
Norm: Well, it was either this, or, uh, listening to Cliff sing the "Ave Maria." [opens door]
Cliff: [o.s.] Ave Maria
Norm: Please, five more minutes. Could I please?

Quote from Rebecca

Sam: Well, that, uh, concludes the formal part of our program. Now, let's get naked.
Rebecca: Sam, I am very flattered that you went to the trouble to buy a pointer. [Sam laughs] But I'm not going out with you.
Sam: Oh, come... Why?
Rebecca: Because I'm concentrating on my career.
Sam: That's fine. But before you make the final decision on this, let's try this. Have sex with me 25 times, and if at the end of the night you're still not sure, then I won't say another thing.
Rebecca: No. No. Sam, look, I have wasted too much time. I'm not getting any younger. And I've made a decision to only date men who can help my career.
Sam: You know, they have a name for women like that.
Rebecca: Yeah. Vice President.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Hey, you know, I'll tell you something, lady. You- You know, you go ahead and have a career of sucking up to people that will get you ahead. You know, I wouldn't date you now if- If you got down on your hands and knees and begged me to go out with you. You- You want proof? Go ahead. Come on. Ask me out on a date.
Rebecca: Sam, you have tried this ploy before.
Sam: No, I'm serious. Ask me.
Rebecca: Will you go out with me?
Sam: No, not in a million years. Not if you were the last woman on earth. [leaves and returns] Okay. Now we know I can do it. Let's celebrate.

Quote from Rebecca

Martin Teal: You work here at headquarters?
Rebecca: No, I'm out in the field in a managerial position. I'm here for a meeting with the new Executive Vice President, Mr. Teal.
Martin Teal: Ooh. He's tough. You nervous?
Rebecca: Hardly. I've seen so many suits come and go, that now I just take them in stride.
Martin Teal: I admire that. Of course, I admire anything with those dark smoldering eyes. [elevator bell dings]
Rebecca: Excuse me.
Martin Teal: If you would like- It's getting a little crowded in here. Maybe we could continue this conversation over dinner tonight.
Rebecca: [laughs] You're asking me to dinner?
Martin Teal: Dinner and who knows?
Rebecca: Oh. Well, that sounds fine. Should we take my car, or will your mommy be driving us?
Martin Teal: What?
Rebecca: Oh, and I have one other strict rule. I like all my guys to eat all their nice vegetables and not spill anything on their bibbums.
[Rebecca gets out of the elevator, knocks on an office door and enters:]
Rebecca: Mr. Teal, your secretary must have stepped out for a moment. I'm Rebecca Howe. What an honor to meet you, sir.
Dennis: No, no, no, I'm not Martin Teal.
Martin Teal: I am. [Rebecca screams]

Quote from Rebecca

Martin Teal: Sit down. I called you here today because I've decided to reinstate you as the sole manager of Cheers.
Rebecca: Oh, thank you, sir. You're a wonderful man.
Martin Teal: And I want to assure you that our earlier misunderstanding will have absolutely no bearing on our working relationship.
Rebecca: Good.
Martin Teal: I hope you'll forgive me, though if I do occasionally dream about your dark, haunting eyes.
Rebecca: Nothing would make my eyes happier, sir.
Martin Teal: Well, then, there's hope. Till we meet again? [Rebecca leaves] Margie, get me Sam Malone at Cheers.
Rebecca: [returns] Sir? May I ask why you're calling him?
Martin Teal: Oh, I just thought I'd introduce myself have a little chat. I didn't get where I am today without sizing up the competition.
Rebecca: And I suppose you'll be mentioning my relationship with Sam.
Martin Teal: Might come up.
Rebecca: Then I'd better come clean. He's at lunch. Call him back in an hour.
Martin Teal: It's a bit late for lunch.
Rebecca: He had a big breakfast. I have to run, sir. Bye-bye.

Quote from Frasier

Cliff: l, uh, don't mean to be an alarmist, or anything, but I think I saw one of those bees fly out when you closed the door.
Frasier: l, uh, well, I sort of have this thing about, uh, insects.
Norm: Relax, Frasier. The last thing that bee wants to do is sting you.
Cliff: Stings you, he dies.
Frasier: True.
Cliff: Unless, of course, it's one of those rare, rogue bees.
Carla: Oh, Frasier, there he is! He just flew down your shirt! [Frasier pulls his shirt off] I was wrong. It was just a piece of lint.
Frasier: Well, thank goodness you told me before I made a fool of myself.

Quote from Woody

Woody: I'm ready, guys. The smoke will calm them right down so I can get them all rounded up before Miss Howe even knows about this. [Rebecca enters] Oh, hi, Miss Howe. Uh, listen, I was wondering if I could use your phone for a second, in private, with you not in there. Not that there's anything wrong, or anything.
Rebecca: Why would I think that? [bees buzzing]

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Sam, I do have some really good news, though.
Sam: What?
Rebecca: I'm accepting your offer.
Sam: Which offer is that?
Rebecca: Dinner, silly.
Sam: Is this pity? 'Cause I just want to know how to dress.
Rebecca: [scoffs] No, it's not pity. Boy, from now on, I'm just going to stop being coy.

Quote from Sam

Carla: [answers phone] Cheers. Sam, Martin Teal for you.
Sam: Oh. [takes the phone] Uh, hello, Mr. Teal. Oh, no, no. No, there's no need to apologize. As a matter of fact, I think, uh, my new position's gonna get me into all sorts of new positions. Well, yea-- yes. Um, as a matter of fact, we are going out tonight. Boy, news travels fast. Um... yes. Yes, she is beautiful. I- I will, I will take good care of her, sir. Could you... Could you hold on for a second here? I think l, uh... There's a fire somewhere here. [to Rebecca] You're only going out with me 'cause you want to avoid this guy, am I right?
Rebecca: Don't be silly, Sam. You're my guy.
Sam: [on the phone] Could you hold for a second? [to Rebecca] Now, you told me you wanted to go out with somebody who was rich and powerful. This guy is rich and powerful, and yet you still want to date me? I mean, come on. What's wrong with this picture? Oh. What's wrong with his picture? I got to see this turnip. [on the phone] Yes, sir, l, uh, I found out what was on fire there, uh... Well, Rebecca.. Rebecca's burning my love letters. She says we're all through. Yeah. What's that, Rebecca? Oh, she wants to talk to you, sir.
Rebecca: No. [Sam drops the phone] Hello, sir. Yes, it is very sudden. Oh, no, it's gonna take me a long, long time to get over this. 8:00 tonight would be fine. I'll see you then, sir.
Sam: [takes the phone] Uh, sir, sir, are you there? Yeah, listen, I hope you do us the honor of coming down to our establishment for a drink 'cause we well, we sure would love to welcome you aboard. Okay, thank you. [hangs up and laughs]

Quote from Sam

Sam: Oh, well, if it isn't the boss lady rolling in at the crack of 3:30. You know, I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell your superior and my close personal friend, Mr. Stone, that you were late.
Rebecca: You're a lousy snitch, Malone.
Sam: Hey, that's not true, and I'm gonna tell him you said that.
Rebecca: Tell him whatever you want to tell him. I don't care. I'm sick and tired of spending my time catering to the whims of that psycho Stone.
Sam: Um, how many "K"s in "psycho"?

Quote from Sam

Cliff: Oh, Sammy. Sammy, for crying out loud.
Frasier: Why is it always the great ones that never know when to retire?
Sam: Oh, hey, come on. I'm the Cy Young of skirt-chasing.
Carla: Yeah. Cy Young's 108 and dead, and still doing better with Rebecca than you are.
Sam: Uh, it's all right. I know what my problem was. I made too big a deal out of everything. I've always been at my best when I'm spontaneous. I'm just gonna go in here and say whatever comes to my mind. You ready, Norm?
Frasier: Say, what are those?
Sam: Visual aids.

Quote from Rebecca

Martin Teal: I see you've met Dennis, my administrative aide.
Rebecca: I'm so sorry, Mr. Teal. I didn't realize that-
Martin Teal: My age probably threw you.
Dennis: As it often does. After all, how many corporate executives have graduated from Harvard at 18, Wharton Business School at 20, and assumed a major leadership role while still practically in the flower of their youth? He's fair but firm, and hates yes men.
Martin Teal: Thank you, Dennis.
Dennis: Yes, sir.

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