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‘A Bar is Born’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Cheers: A Bar is Born

803. A Bar is Born

Aired October 12, 1989

When Sam reevaluates his life as he watches Rebecca fall for Robin Colcord, he decides to buy a bar of his own.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Geez. Women. You can't live with them. Pass the beer nuts.

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Quote from Carla

Carla: Don't worry, Rebecca. There's nothing wrong with making a guy wait. It piques their interest. I once made a guy wait until we were both undressed.

Quote from Woody

Rebecca: The point is I don't want you talking about me. There's to be no more gossip about my private life.
Woody: [enters] Sorry I'm late from lunch. I made the mistake of mentioning to my waitress that my boss was dating Robin Colcord. She wanted to know if it was true they haven't slept together. You know, it is amazing what happens when you mention that guy's name. I mean, I had all these people swarming around my table asking me all kinds of questions. "Do I know him very well?" "Do I see him often?" "Do I want soup or salad?"
Sam: Yeah, it's tough being a celebrity. I used to get that all the time when I was playing for the Sox. It's a real pain.
Woody: Yeah, you're lucky, Sam. Everyone forgot about you a long time ago. Last time I saw your name in print was two years ago in a crossword puzzle. "Name a former Red Sox player in 15 letters." And even then, I had a lot of spaces left over.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Sammy, why don't you just get a loan?
Sam: I could do that, but another bar's not going to be the same as Cheers.
Norm: Cheers wasn't Cheers before you bought it, Sammy. It was just boring, run-of-the-mill beer hall.
Cliff: How do you know?
Norm: I was here every night. You made Cheers what it is, pal.

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Well, that may be, Sam, but, you know, there's an old real estate maxim that says the three most important things in looking for a property are location, location, location.
Woody: That's just one thing.
Frasier: That's the point, Woody.
Woody: What? That real estate people are stupid?
Frasier: No, that location is the one most important thing in real estate.
Woody: Then why do they say it's three things?
Frasier: Because real estate people are stupid.
Woody: Aha.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Everybody, sit up straight. Robin's back from Europe. All right. He just called from his car phone to ask if he could pop by for a minute. "Pop". Isn't Robin adorable?
Cliff: Well, he does have haunting eyes. Well, he does, doesn't he?
Rebecca: I think the important thing is that Mr. Colcord is going to find an entirely new woman from the one he saw two weeks ago. A hungry woman. A confident woman. A woman who's willing to give to her man with total abandon.
Norm: I think I see him coming.
Rebecca: I'm not ready yet.

Quote from Robin Colcord

Robin: Sam, do you want my honest opinion?
Sam: Oh, yeah, you bet.
Robin: This could work.
Sam: Yes! [accidentally hits his model]
Robin: By work, I mean, if you pour every dime you've got into the place, struggle, scrimp, and save and somehow hang on through the lean years, you might begin to show a tiny profit. After that, living month by month, year after year, praying there's no recession, you might actually scrape a living... A dismal, altruist living out of it.
Sam: OK. OK. So, um, what's the downside?

Quote from Robin Colcord

Robin: Actually, I had a thought about that other idea we had and I decided that might be fun too.
Sam: What idea was that?
Robin: You remember, the high-rise, with the river view. It turns out it's adjacent to the property that I'm developing, so I decided to buy the whole block and give it a go.
Sam: But you said- You said that was impossible.
Robin: No, I said it was impossible for you. For me, it was two phone calls and a handshake.
Sam: But that was my idea.
Robin: Was it? So hard to recall. The ideas were flying so fast and furious in there.
Sam: Wait a minute. Now, if I had bought that property, couldn't I have sold it to you for a profit?
Robin: You wouldn't take advantage of a friend, would you?
Sam: You talked me out of that place just so you could get it yourself.
Robin: I didn't talk you out of anything. I talked you into following your heart. You're a man with a dream, Sam. I envy you. But if it makes you feel any better, I'm willing to come to an arrangement.
Sam: Oh, yeah?
Robin: Yeah, let's see... Yes, you no longer owe me a favor.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: I cannot believe you told everyone. Not having sex is a very private thing between a man and a woman. You don't see me going around saying that Norm and Vera didn't have sex last night.
Norm: Hey, hey, hey.
Rebecca: OK, bad example.

Quote from Sam

Sam: I think this gives you a pretty good idea of what the place will look like. Except, you know, bigger.
Robin: So, what you're finally saying is, you're going to reopen the same business in the same location where it went belly-up just last year.
Sam: No, no, no. See, this is new. This is completely different. Now it's Sam's Place.
Robin: What was it before?
Sam: Tim's Place.

Quote from Frasier

Woody: What are you doing here so late, Doctor Crane?
Frasier: Oh, I had to make a midnight run. Lilith's having another one of her pregnancy cravings.
Norm: Oh, no. Not again. What was it this time?
Frasier: Oh, just butter and flour.
Woody: Oh, she wants to bake something?
Frasier: No. That's what she was eating when I left. Balls of butter and fistfuls of flour. I had to get out of there.
Cliff: Boy, oh, geez, pregnancy really makes women screwy, doesn't it?
Norm: It's amazing how their little hormones take over their entire body for that period of time.
Frasier: Tell me about it. You know, the other morning at 4:00, I had to run clear across town to this particular pizzeria to get Lilith a deep-dish pizza, four cheeses, with sun-dried tomatoes, prosciutto, and anchovies.
Norm: [scoffs] How far you have to go?
Frasier: Oh, out by the airport.
Cliff: That's what, an hour's drive just for a craving?
Frasier: It's insane, isn't it?
Norm: Well, you're lucky they were open.
Frasier: Oh, they're open all night.
Norm: All night? Ooh, I could use an anchovy pizza.
Frasier: It's a hell of a pie.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: My life is fabulous!
Carla: Keep it to yourself.
Rebecca: Oh, did I say something? I must've been thinking out loud. Thinking out loud about my fabulous life! Does anybody know what... Time it is?
Norm: Why ever do you ask?
Rebecca: Well, just because my rich new sweetheart, Robin Colcord, sent me this beautiful, very expensive gold watch from Zurich, and I can't tell what time it is. Can you read this?
Carla: Yeah. It says, "this could feed my family for a year."
Rebecca: Carla, don't be childish. If anybody needs me, I'll be skipping around in my office.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Say, uh, when's your rich boyfriend coming back?
Rebecca: In about a week.
Sam: Oh, good, good, good. That'll give you time to make up excuses not to go to bed with him.
Rebecca: I want to go to bed with him. I'm just waiting for the right time.
Sam: Oh, maybe that's why he gave you the watch.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: And how do you know that I haven't been to bed with Robin? Did Sam tell you that?
Carla: No. I'm a woman. A woman knows.
Frasier: You know, I must say I'm with Carla on this one. I mean, there's nothing wrong with two people getting to know each other before they have a physical relationship.
Rebecca: And how did you know?
Frasier: Well, I'm a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist knows.
Tony: What are you waiting for, Becky?
Pete: Hit the sheets already, kid.
Rebecca: Sam.
Sam: Pool players know.

Quote from Sam

Sam: Yeah, well, I still wouldn't trade places with poor old Robin.
Carla: Poor old Robin happens to be one of the richest, most powerful men in the world. Not to mention being generally gorgeous.
Sam: Yeah, but he hasn't gotten anywhere through Becca, has he?
Carla: You didn't get anywhere with that babe, either.
Sam: I'm not one of the richest, most powerful men in the world. I'm just a lowly bartender. What's his excuse?
Norm: Good point, Sammy.
Sam: I know why she's not going to bed with that guy. There's this little voice in the back of her head that keeps saying, "Wouldn't you really rather drive a Sammy?" That poor chump doesn't stand a chance.

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