Diane: Sam, now, it's true, hiring Norman has emotional overtones. But without emotions, the mind becomes a stagnant pond. And let's face it, in your case, we're not exactly dealing with white water rapids in the first place.

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.

Coach: You know, Sam, every time I hear A Foggy Day In London Town, I think of my wife.
Sam: Oh, was that your song, Coach?
Coach: No, but Sinatra sang that and it always reminds me of that movie From Here To Eternity.
Cliff: Oh, you took her to see it on your first date, Coach?
Coach: No, that movie reminds me of Hawaii.
Diane: Oh, you and your wife met in Hawaii?
Coach: No, I've never been to Hawaii, Diane. Neither has Wally Engels.
Cliff: I'll take it. Coach, who's Wally Engels?
Coach: An old pal of mine in the navy. He introduced me to my wife.
All: Ah.
Sam: Boy, that's some memory you've got there, Coach.
Coach: Yeah, Sam. [Moon River plays on the radio]
Man: Ah, that song brings back great memories.
Coach: Oh, yeah, really? What?
Man: They were playing it the day my daughter got married.
Coach: Yeah?
Man: That's all.
Coach: We sure get 'em in here, don't we, Sam?

Sam: What were you saying?
Diane: Well, on my way here, I saw a fellow who looked very much like Norman, sneaking in the back door of Melville's kitchen. Now, he looked so much like Norman I said hi to him, but he pulled his coat over his face and ran inside.
Sam: What would Norm be doing in Melville's kitchen?
Diane: I think Norman's been reduced to taking a job as a busboy or a dishwasher.
Cliff: No, no. Norm would never stoop to that. He probably just went in to beg for table scraps or something.

Cliff: So as we see, the roots of physical aggression in the male of the species is found right here in the old DNA molecule itself. Yeah, right up here at about 1:00, as I recall.
Diane: Fascinating, cliff.
Cliff: Oh, yes, Diane. Fascinating. You, hold onto your hat, too, because the very letters "DNA" are an acronym for the words "dames are not aggressive."
Diane: They stand for deoxyribonucleic acid.
Cliff: Ah, yes, but parse that in the Latin declension, and my point is still moot.
Diane: You know, Cliff, if it's true that a little knowledge is dangerous, you are a walking time bomb.
Cliff: Oh. Thank you, Diane. Let's, uh, talk about the gas turbine engine for a while.

Carla: Norm's late again today.
Sam: Yeah, I noticed. It's starting to eat into my beer profits. I'm going to have to raise the price of a draught here to get even. That'll be $11 there, Cliff.

Carla: You know, he hasn't been in before five o'clock all week. You don't suppose Norm has finally got himself a job, do you?
Cliff: Nah, nah. If Norm had a job, he'd have told us about it.
Coach: Gee, I hope he didn't tell me and I forgot. No, I'd remember forgetting something that big.

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm.
Diane: Norman!
Coach: How about a beer, Norm?
Norm: Hey, I'm high on life, Coach. Of course beer is my life.

Diane: Sam, I'm standing by you. I may not agree with you, but I admire your courage. I know exactly how you feel.
Sam: Oh, you do?
Diane: Yes, Sam, I have personal experience standing against the majority. Resisting the force of public opinion for the sake of personal principle.
Sam: Is that right? Like what?
Diane: Well, in my senior year, I fought single-handedly to integrate my sorority.
Sam: Oh, you hear this? What, they wouldn't let blacks in?
Diane: Well, it wasn't about the blacks. That's really not the point.
Cliff: What was it, some other race?
Diane: Well, no.
Carla: A religion?
Diane: Well, it wasn't exactly a religion.
Sam: Well, come on. Who? Who?
Diane: [mumbles]
Sam: What? Who wouldn't they let in?
Diane: Girls with poorly-publicized coming-out parties. And within a couple of months, they blended right in.

Sam: Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just thought of something.
Diane: Oh, I thought I heard a clank.
Sam: About a week ago, Norm asked me if a real man would wash dishes.
Cliff: Oh, Norm.
Carla: I don't believe it.
Diane: It's impossible to escape the conclusion.
Coach: I found a way.
Cliff: Now, look, I'm not going to believe that my buddy, a professional man like myself, has been reduced to scrubbing pots and pans in a fish house. I mean, if he had, there'd be telltale signs. You know, he'd come in reeking like a mackerel.
Norm: [o.s.] Go on! Beat it! Scram!
[As Norm walks down the steps to Cheers, he is followed by a large group of cats]
Norm: Get out of here! Beat it! Get out of here! Go on! Get out of here!
Sam: Well, that proves it. He's either washing dishes, or driving a herd of cats to Dodge City.
Coach: Ah, Sam, he'd need at least 200 head for that drive to Dodge.