Carla: I am not afraid to fly. I'm not! I'm afraid to crash.
Tom: Did you have a bad experience?
Carla: Yes, I did! First time in an airplane. It was on my honeymoon with Nick. We're going to New York - short flight, no problem, right? Well, suddenly, the plane hits turbulence, right? Me and Nick were thrown all around that bathroom. I haven't flown since.

Norm: Whoa, Cliffie, new Weekly Gabber I see, huh?
Cliff: Yeah, you betcha. Look at this headline here. "Suicidal Twin Kills Brother by Mistake."
Frasier: Oh, Cliff, you don't actually believe that pack of lies, do you?
Cliff: Well, Dr. Crane, it just shows you how much you know about free press here in America. I mean, uh, they can't print it unless it's the truth. Well, granted, you know, some of these stories might be a bit exaggerated, but, uh, I guarantee you at the core of each is the kernel of truth. Allow me to demonstrate. Hey, hey. Come here, fella. Listen, I just won five bucks in the lottery. Pass it on, will ya? Thanks a lot. The truth has begun its journey now around the bar. When it returns, it may be a little bit distorted, you know. People will be saying I won $500, maybe $5,000, maybe five million dollars, but I guarantee you the essence of the message will be the truth.
Pete: Hey, Norm, get this. Some geek brain's all jazzed because he just won five bucks.
Frasier: Touche.

Frasier: Well, you know, Carla, I've done a lot of reading lately about fear of flying. I've always wanted to conduct a workshop for people with your problem. I'm sure I could scare up a few people like you. Oh, no pun intended. None noticed, I am sure.
Carla: No way, Frasier. I am not going to wind up in your office, strapped to some table with electricity shot through my head.
Frasier: Carla, that's not part of the therapy.
Carla: Oh, yeah? What about Diane?
Frasier: Now, look. I never treated Diane with any kind of shock inducement. Of course, now I wish I had.

Norm: He gave Cheers a really bad review a couple years ago. Really bad. I almost stopped coming here.
Rebecca: What did he say?
Cliff: Well, a bar full of bores.
Norm: Yeah, oafish clientele.
Sam: Dumb lug of a bartender.
Rebecca: Well, we're under new management here. A lot of things have changed.
Sam: Like what?
Rebecca: We have ferns. Didn't he say anything nice?
Sam: Yes, as a matter of fact, he said the one saving grace was the refreshing lack of ferns.
Rebecca: You guys are just trying to rattle me. With the changes I've instituted and with Carla locked in the storage closet, everything's going to be fine. 86 the ferns, Woody.

Frasier: What's the problem?
Sam: Well, Carla wants to visit Eddie on the West Coast, but she's afraid to fly.
Frasier: Well, do you mean, by afraid to fly, what? Um... she's claustrophobic, agoraphobic, or acrophobic?
Carla: Death-o-phobic.

Murray Treadwell: So I stand by my original review, "the Hungry Heifer is a trough."
Norm: Okay, fine. But listen, if you can find a better 25-ounce steak for $1.99, pal, you just let me know, all right?

Woody: Sam, you don't really think Miss Howe would do anything she shouldn't have to get a good review, do you?
Sam: No, of course not.
Woody: Then why do you keep teasing her?
Sam: Well, haven't you ever noticed how her chest kind of heaves when she's angry?
Woody: I always avert my eyes.
Sam: You're kidding me.
Woody: No. I'm a leg man.

Cliff: Hey, uh, Carla, I couldn't help but notice that Eddie calls you every single day asking you to go out there, and you just keep giving him the brush-off. I mean, hey, what gives here, little lady?
Carla: Drop it. Or I'll set your face on fire and beat out the flames with your butt.
Norm: Well, does that satisfy your curiosity, Cliff?
Cliff: Totally. But it does raise a series of other questions.

Sam: [on the phone] All right, all right, sure thing, Eddie. Okay, listen, break a wing. [chuckles] I know, I know, I know, you hate those jokes. Listen, just keep a stiff upper beak. [laughs] I'm sorry. All right, bye-bye, bye-bye.

Sam: That was your husband on the phone there, Carla.
Carla: Why was he calling you?
Sam: Well, he's upset. He wanted me to ask you, find out why, you know, you won't go see him.
Carla: How can l, Sam? I can't afford a plane ticket to Seattle.
Sam: Well, now I could loan you the money.
Carla: Great. But who could get the time off?
Rebecca: If it's for the sake of your marriage, I'm sure we could work something out. If you'd like to take a leave of absence for say, a year, that would be fine.