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‘A Fine French Whine’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

Cheers: A Fine French Whine

1010. A Fine French Whine

Aired November 21, 1991

Woody is happy to see the back of Henri when he announces he's being deported, unless he can find someone to marry him.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Yeah, personally, I say good riddance.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: Yeah, then the charms of the French have always been lost on me. I mean, when W.W. Three rolls around, they'd better not come to old Cliff Clavin to pull their fromage out of the fire, no, siree! I've got plans. Yeah, when those missiles start flying, I'll be in a fully stocked-up, juiced-up Winnebago, heading at 65 per, armed to the teeth, right to the border of Mexico. Yes, sir. Those cockroaches and Cliff Clavin are gonna do just fine, thank you.
Paul: What a wonderful civilization you'll build.
Cliff: Amen.

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Quote from Cliff

Frasier: This damned headache. I've had it all day. I can't seem to shake it.
Cliff: Oh, you know, those dilated veins there will just add to your discomfort there, Doc. On the other hand, there is a possibility that what you have is not a headache at all but rather an earwig that's crawled into your auditory canal while you were asleep and who is at this very moment, uh, chewing its way through your cerebral cortex.

Quote from Norm

Henri: I am being kicked out, just because I am not a citizen and I have no job and I have no prospect for a job and I have no wish for a job.
Norm: Wait a minute, they can kick you out of the country for that?
Sam: No, no, relax, you you were born here.
Norm: God bless America.
Cliff: Hey, amen.

Quote from Norm

Norm: What do those things feel like, anyway?
Frasier: You've never had a headache, Norm?
Norm: I don't think so. How how do you get one?
Frasier: Oh, it's a variety of reasons. Usually stress or tension.
Norm: Hmm?
Frasier: Job-related anxieties, day-to-day pressures.
Norm: Come again?
Frasier: It's like, um... when you eat ice cream too fast.
Norm: Oh, I hate that.

Quote from Cliff

Tour Guide: If you look on your left, you'll see the historic public garden, which in colonial days was used as a public grazing area for privately owned livestock. On your right are some of the historic brownstones. Oh, my God, step on it, Harry!
Cliff: He doesn't know what he's talking about!
Tour Guide: It's that know-it-all mailman!
Cliff: You wanna know the real... I'll tell you the real story! The Clavins got here before the pilgrims!

Quote from Kelly

Woody: Kelly, how can you do this? How can you marry Henri?
Kelly: Woody, it's just a little trick so he can stay in the country. It's nothing serious.
Henri: Exactly. We'll get married, go on our honeymoon, come back and get divorced.
Kelly: We're going on a honeymoon?! Oh, goody!
Henri: Oh, yes, we have to. The immigration people are very thorough. Sometimes they even bug the honeymoon suite to see if you are faking. Only you will not be faking.
Woody: Kelly, I'm telling you, I don't like this idea.
Kelly: Really?
Woody: No, not one bit.
Kelly: Sorry, Henri, but I guess I can't marry you because my boyfriend won't let me.

Quote from Kelly

Henri: Very well. I... I understand. Woody loves you very, very much. So much that he is willing to snatch away my one chance to remain in my adopted homeland. [sings] Oh, beautiful [voice breaking] For spacious skies [talks] They really are spacious, you know!
Kelly: Look at him, Woody. Please let me marry him! Please, please, please!
Woody: Forget it. Kelly, I- I love you, and I don't want to see you with another man. I- I forbid you to marry Henri.
Kelly: Well, Mr. Woody Boyd, the mask has certainly come off. If you're so small-minded that my marrying another man makes you take a rude tone of voice... maybe you're not the man I want to marry right after I marry this man. Come on, Henri, we're leaving.

Quote from Kelly

Justice of the Peace: And so, Kelly and Henri, by the authority vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you...
Sam: Whoa! All right, all right, all right, hey, whoa.
Kelly: Sam, what are you doing here?
Sam: I- I Well, I'm here, because there's a certain guy who loves you very much, honey, a lot more than Henri ever could, and someone I think that you have overlooked.
Kelly: Well, sure, Sam, there's always been a spark between you and me.

Quote from Woody

Justice of the Peace: Friends, we are gathered here today to join this man-
Woody: Would the bride and groom please turn around?! [Kelly and Henri turn around] All right, stop this wedding!
Kelly: Woody!
Woody: Kelly, you can't go through with this. I can't let you marry Henri.
Kelly: Woody, we've been through this a million times. It's just so Henri won't get deported. Oops!
Woody: You're wrong, Kelly. He's using you. He- He wrote that letter himself. He's not going to be deported. He- He's just trying to steal you away from me.
Henri: How did you figure that out?
Woody: You mean, I'm right?! Wow! Score one for the Indiana school system.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Yeah, well, Kelly likes him, too. He goes on every date with us.
Sam: Yeah, well, just as long as he's stopped making those jokes about stealing Kelly from you.
Woody: He has? Why didn't you tell me sooner, Sam?
Sam: No, no.
Woody: I hate those jokes.
Sam: No, Woody, I don't know that he has, I was just asking.
Woody: Oh. Hey, Sam, I hear you're getting a big refund from the IRS.
Sam: I am?
Woody: Two can play that little game, Sam.

Quote from Lilith

Lilith: Oh, there you are, my poor darling. And you've still got your headache, haven't you? Oh, I can see it's gotten worse by those tiny little pressure wrinkles around your eyes. Maybe that's just fatty tissue.
Frasier: It'll go away.
Cliff: Oh, no, no, once you get those fat bags, they're there to stay.
Lilith: Describe the pain to me. Is it a sharp, stabbing pain? Is it a dull ache? Is it a pressure headache? Or is it a throbbing headache, one that just pounds and pounds and pounds and pounds...
Frasier: Lilith, if you don't stop it, my head is going to explode all over this bar!
Norm: All right! Hey, Paul, get out here!

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Such an operator, it makes me sick.
Paul: Yeah, it makes me mad just to look at him.
Henri: Hello, fellows!
All: Hey, Henri, how you doing?

Quote from Woody

Woody: Hey, look, here's my wallet. I left this thing up here six months ago. See, I never even thought to look up there. All right, I can drive again!

Quote from Woody

Henri: Hello, Woody.
Kelly: Woody, you are so sweet to see Henri off.
Woody: Well, that's just the way I was raised. So, Henri, what time does your plane leave American airspace?

Quote from Kelly

Kelly: Woody, I'm so sorry.
Woody: Well, I'm sorry, too, Kelly.
Kelly: We should have never had that terrible fight. It was all my fault.
Woody: Well, at least we're back together. Now let's never fight again, even if we have genuine disagreements.
Kelly: Woody, I don't think you and I will ever disagree on anything again. Well, I've got to go.
Woody: Where are you going?
Kelly: To City Hall to marry Henri, Mr. Forgetful. I'll call you after the wedding. Love you.

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