Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The One with the Cooking Class’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Cooking Class

821. The One with the Cooking Class

Aired May 2, 2002

After Monica confronts a food critic who gave her a bad review, she and Joey stick around for an amateur cooking class. Meanwhile, Rachel is jealous when a saleswoman flirts with Ross at the baby store, and Phoebe helps Chandler prepare for a job interview.

Quote from Monica

Monica: He teaches a course on food criticism at The New School, so before we go to the movies, I want to go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I can't wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow: "Restaurant reviewer admits: 'I was wrong about Monica.'"
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, don't you?

Rate

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: We'll just do our best, okay. So, let's say that I'm the interviewer and I'm meeting you for the first time.
Chandler: Okay.
Phoebe: Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalange.
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Phoebe: Oh, Bing. What an unusual name.
Chandler: Well, you should meet my Uncle Bada. I'll let myself out.

Quote from Joey

Monica: God, is he right? Am I really- Am I awful?
Phoebe: Oh, no.
Joey: Hey, Monica, you listen to me, okay. And I'm not just saying this because I'm your friend. I'm saying this because it's the truth. Your food is abysmal!

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff, and this sales woman just started flirting with him. Can you believe that?
Phoebe: Well, did she know you two weren't married?
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. Well, the idea of a woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders.

Quote from Chandler

Mr. Tyler: All right, then. We'll have a definite answer for you on Monday. But I think I can say with some confidence, you'll fit in well here.
Chandler: Really?
Mr. Tyler: Absolutely. You can relax. You did great.
Chandler: Yeah. I gotta say, thanks you. I was really nervous. You know, I've been told I come on too strongly. Too many jokes. And then it was really hard to side step that "duty" thing. Duties? Doodies? Poo?
Mr. Tyler: Poo?
Chandler: Oh, my God. This doesn't count. Okay? The interview was over. That was the real Chandler Bing in there. This is just some crazy guy out in the hall. Call security! There's a crazy guy out in the hall!
Mr. Tyler: Poo?
Chandler: I'll look forward to your call.

Quote from Joey

Ross: No. Monica's restaurant got a horrible review in the Post.
Rachel: Oh, no.
Ross: Yeah. I didn't want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find.
Joey: This is bad. And I've had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one, though. "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: It's a better job. It's vice president of the company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: Wow. How do you know how to do that?
Chandler: That's what I do now.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Joey? Come taste this.
Joey: What is it?
Monica: Well, remember the guy that gave me a bad review? Well, I'm getting my revenge.
Joey: You cooked him?

Quote from Rachel

Katie: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Actually, that's one of the reasons why we are not a couple.
Ross: I chose those. I'm a paleontologist.
Katie: Really? That is so cool.
Rachel: Oh, don't get too worked up over it. I mean, it sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Oh, my God. I'm standing at a cash register, I'm holding a credit card, and I'm bored.

Quote from Ross

Katie: I love your neighborhood. There's a great gym around the corner.
Ross: That's my gym.
Katie: I could tell you work out. A paleontologist who works out. You're like Indiana Jones.
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Hi, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Hey. Oh, how did baby shopping go?
Rachel: It was great. We got everything that we needed. Oh, and Ross almost got something that wasn't on the list. A whore.

Quote from Rachel

Phoebe: Sounds like you're jealous.
Rachel: No, I'm not. I just think it's wrong. I mean, here I am, about to pop and he's out picking up some shopgirl at Sluts-R-Us?
Phoebe: Is that a real place? Are they hiring?

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: Hey, Chandler. Why so fancy?
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. It's kind of a big deal, too. It's a lot more money and I'd be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Phoebe: Wait. I think I know someone who does that.
Chandler: Me. I do that.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: You look great.
Phoebe: You know, just don't get your hopes up.
Chandler: Why not?
Phoebe: Well, the interview.
Chandler: What about it?
Phoebe: You know. You don't make a very good first impression.
Chandler: What?
Phoebe: Oh, you don't know.
Chandler: Are you serious?
Phoebe: Yes. When I first met you, you were like [babbling]. I was like: Ssh!

Quote from Rachel

Chandler: What is it that I do?
Phoebe: Well, it's just, like, you're trying too hard. You're always making jokes. You come off a little needy.
Chandler: Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, I'm not gonna lie to you. But I am gonna run away from you.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Hi. I'm Monica Geller, chef at Allessandro's.
Critic: Still?
Monica: I think the things that you said about me were really unfair and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Critic: I don't see any reason why I would do that to myself again.
Joey: Either eat it or be in it.

Quote from Joey

Monica: So, what do you think?
Critic: I'm torn between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest. Your soup is abysmal.
Joey: Thattagirl! Eh?

Quote from Ross

Ross: I'm just gonna grab my coat. And my whip. You know, because of Indiana Jones. Not because I'm into S & M. I'm not into anything weird, you know? Just normal sex. So I'm gonna grab my coat.

Quote from Joey

Teacher: Your fettecine alfredo looks a little dry. Did you use all your cheese?
Joey: When you say "use," do you mean "eat as a pre-cooking snack"?
Teacher: And the cream?
Joey: Cheese makes me thirsty.
Teacher: Okay. Let's move on.
Joey: All right.

Quote from Monica

Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
Monica: Excuse me? He doesn't even know what he's doing.
Teacher: We're all beginners here. Nobody knows what they're doing.
Monica: I do. I'm a professional chef! [all gasp] Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Okay, then. I don't stink. I'm a good chef!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want to go. I'm having fun.
Teacher: Well, actually, did either of you pay for this class?
Joey: Hey, hey, hey. If my friend says it's time to go, it's time to go.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: Also, I was the point person on my company's transition from the KL5 to GR6 systems.
Mr. Tyler: You must have had your hands full.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Mr. Tyler: So let's talk a little bit about your duties.
Chandler: My duties? All right.
Mr. Tyler: Now, you'll be heading a division, so you'll have a lot of duties.
Chandler: I see.
Mr. Tyler: But there'll be perhaps 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them.
Chandler: Good to know.
Mr. Tyler: We could go into detail-
Chandler: No, don't, I beg of you.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Do you not like Katie?
Rachel: No. No, she was nice. I mean, she was a little slutty, but who isn't?
Ross: Well, I liked her.
Rachel: Well, of course you did, Ross. You would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Oh, Ross, thank you. Thank you.
Ross: You feel better?
Rachel: No, not really. You're pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. Okay.
Ross: Hey, Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Ross: Just one thing. Um. We live together. You're having our baby. I'm not gonna see anybody else. Are you sure you don't want something more?
Rachel: Wow. I don't know, maybe-
Ross: Oh, Rach, I was just messing around. Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Rachel: Oh! I knew that. I knew that. I was just messing with you too.
Ross: Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you seemed-
Rachel: No, no, no, no, no. That's just because I'm such a good messer.
Ross: Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Ross: The bathroom?
Rachel: Right.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Oh, look. Acting for Beginners. Hey, wanna feel good about yourself?
Joey: What the hell.
Acting Teacher: All right. Let's start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
Joey: Yeah, this was a stupid idea.


 Episode 820 Episode 822 
  Select another episode