Phoebe: We'll just do our best, okay. So, let's say that I'm the interviewer and I'm meeting you for the first time.
Chandler: Okay.
Phoebe: Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalange.
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Phoebe: Oh, Bing. What an unusual name.
Chandler: Well, you should meet my Uncle Bada. I'll let myself out.

Monica: He teaches a course on food criticism at The New School, so before we go to the movies, I want to go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I can't wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow: "Restaurant reviewer admits: 'I was wrong about Monica.'"
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, don't you?

Monica: God, is he right? Am I really- Am I awful?
Phoebe: Oh, no.
Joey: Hey, Monica, you listen to me, okay. And I'm not just saying this because I'm your friend. I'm saying this because it's the truth. Your food is abysmal!

Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff, and this sales woman just started flirting with him. Can you believe that?
Phoebe: Well, did she know you two weren't married?
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. Well, the idea of a woman flirting with a single man? We must alert the church elders.

Mr. Tyler: All right, then. We'll have a definite answer for you on Monday. But I think I can say with some confidence, you'll fit in well here.
Chandler: Really?
Mr. Tyler: Absolutely. You can relax. You did great.
Chandler: Yeah. I gotta say, thanks you. I was really nervous. You know, I've been told I come on too strongly. Too many jokes. And then it was really hard to side step that "duty" thing. Duties? Doodies? Poo?
Mr. Tyler: Poo?
Chandler: Oh, my God. This doesn't count. Okay? The interview was over. That was the real Chandler Bing in there. This is just some crazy guy out in the hall. Call security! There's a crazy guy out in the hall!
Mr. Tyler: Poo?
Chandler: I'll look forward to your call.

Ross: No. Monica's restaurant got a horrible review in the Post.
Rachel: Oh, no.
Ross: Yeah. I didn't want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find.
Joey: This is bad. And I've had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one, though. "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."

Chandler: It's a better job. It's vice president of the company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: Wow. How do you know how to do that?
Chandler: That's what I do now.

Monica: Joey? Come taste this.
Joey: What is it?
Monica: Well, remember the guy that gave me a bad review? Well, I'm getting my revenge.
Joey: You cooked him?

Katie: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Actually, that's one of the reasons why we are not a couple.
Ross: I chose those. I'm a paleontologist.
Katie: Really? That is so cool.
Rachel: Oh, don't get too worked up over it. I mean, it sounds like he's a doctor, but he's not.

Rachel: Oh, my God. I'm standing at a cash register, I'm holding a credit card, and I'm bored.